Hey! I live in Spokane!

And seriously, if he thinks the spiders are large here, I hope he doesn't try moving anywhere further south. Or on the east coast. Or... you know, it'd probably be safer to just move to the moon.

CARROT ONESIE.

It certainly does suck!

*raspy voice*

METAL GEAR!

Don't feel bad, I can't really keep it up either. At least not for more than a 10-20 seconds or so...

Bwa ha ha ha ha. "Shut the full cup."

I love this guy. I was introduced to Parov Stellar through him. (And as jonny knows, I love this song.)

It took me most of the video to figure out what was going on.

The Internet: Proving conclusively that people are fucking assholes everywhere, you just didn't know about them as often before the Internet came along.

The look on Simon's face when she announced her song WAS priceless.

And seriously? Her name is "Carly Rose Sonenclaire"? She was apparently born to be a star. (Literally.)

Seriously, who the fuck is "Rightster" and why do they own the rights to this?

Honestly, this WAS pretty funny.

Obviously, props to the speechwriters. But I'll give GWB a little credit for the delivery too.