She should have stuck with pineapples.

ps. masturbating spelled wrong in the title.

>> ^SpaceOddity:
>> ^shole:
also, if it tastes nasty, change your diet
crap food translates to crap...product

Pineapple juice, my friends.


Search for: "Super Spunk Smoothie". Verified it works.

^ Pineapples really make the worst sex toys, trust me.

>> ^SpaceOddity:
>> ^shole:
also, if it tastes nasty, change your diet
crap food translates to crap...product

Pineapple juice, my friends.


i can't fit a pineapple in there!

>> ^shole:
also, if it tastes nasty, change your diet
crap food translates to crap...product


Pineapple juice, my friends.

>> ^blankfist
Second, you need to eat less carbs. A low carb diet will slow you down for the first week or so as your body goes through keitosis.

I find it quite interesting that we have not only the same (correct ) views on political systems, economic systems, and human rights...but we have the same view on nutritional science. If I had to guess, I would say it must be the personality trait of "intellectual curiosity."

I digress...

rottenseed - take it from me, your friendly libertarian free-market economist nutritional scientist,

You are tired because you are
1. Not sleeping well
2. Not eating well
3. Overexerting yourself
4. Chemically/Biologically flawed

I'm going to take a guess and say 3 and 4 aren't the case, so heres my advice:

To improve sleep:
- Double check the sleep apnea (do you breath through your nose or mouth when sleeping?)
- Do you wake up throughout the night? Even if you are in bed for 8 hours, if you keep waking up you aren't getting good sleep. Try sleeping in a pitch black room - it will help you sleep soundly throughout the night.

To improve nutrition:
- I'm guessing you are on the typical American diet, 70/20/10 Carbs/Protein/Fat aka the fast track to diabetes, heart disease and cancer. While the long term side effect of this diet are quite fatal, the short term side effects aren't so great either: lethargy and lack of energy.
- Food is the most powerful drug known to man. The advice I'm about to give you will not only extent your life, it will increase your energy and happiness while you are alive. Heed this advice for even a single week and you will literally feel better than you ever have in your life:

1. Try not to buy anything with a nutritional label - so avoid flour, sugar, bread, rice, cereal, baked goods any thing which has a "Daily recommended value" listed on it.
2. Shop only on the outside walls of the supermarket. This means fresh fruit, vegetables, nuts, beef, poultry, pork, and seafood.
3. Eat these foods 3-4 times a day in approximately the following ratios:

Meat: One serving the size and thickness of your palm
Vegetables/Fruits: One serving equal to what you can hold on both hands
Nuts/Fat: One serving equal to the size of your thumb

These are helpful guidelines, what you are aiming for is increase your dietary intake of protein to induce ketosis with sources such as fresh meat and poultry, increase your intake of monounsaturated fats with sources like olive oil, avocados, and nuts, and replace the glucose-spiking refined carbohydrates prevalent in an American diet with high-vitamin, low GI carbohydrates such as fresh fruits and vegetables.

Try this for even 3 days, and you'll see a massive difference.

Breakfast
Bacon
Fresh cantaloupe and watermelon
Smoked Almonds

Lunch
Black Forest Ham
Mixed fruit (blueberries, strawberries, kiwi, pineapple, grapes)
Avocado
Feta cheese

Dinner
16 oz grilled rib-eye steak
Asparagus
Green beans
Brazil nuts

she also likes reeses, twix and a good old thigh rub.

In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
What if I can't find Mr. Pibb? Would Dr. Pepper do? Or am I just assed out and would get a "sorry, maybe next time"?

In reply to this comment by inflatablevagina:
Yes pizza should do the trick.
Cheese and pineapple please. Oh and a Mr. Pibb. Then you're a shoe in

In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
The results of a proposal are 50/50? What, it just depends on what kind of mood you're in at the time? Remind me to show up with pizza when I do it, then.


Everyone loves pizza.

In reply to this comment by inflatablevagina:
That's what everyone says to me.
Results are 50/50


In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
I don't know whether I should be creeped out or if I should propose...

In reply to this comment by inflatablevagina:
Then I'd say... Nice to meet you

In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
What if I said that it was the tentacles that did the trick?

In reply to this comment by inflatablevagina:
Not wrong..... everyone loves a gigantic tentacled vagina.....right?

In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
Is it wrong that the sight of that turns me on?

Dr. Pepper should be fine, but with a Mr Pibb there;s no doubt.

In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
What if I can't find Mr. Pibb? Would Dr. Pepper do? Or am I just assed out and would get a "sorry, maybe next time"?

In reply to this comment by inflatablevagina:
Yes pizza should do the trick.
Cheese and pineapple please. Oh and a Mr. Pibb. Then you're a shoe in

In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
The results of a proposal are 50/50? What, it just depends on what kind of mood you're in at the time? Remind me to show up with pizza when I do it, then.


Everyone loves pizza.

In reply to this comment by inflatablevagina:
That's what everyone says to me.
Results are 50/50


In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
I don't know whether I should be creeped out or if I should propose...

In reply to this comment by inflatablevagina:
Then I'd say... Nice to meet you

In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
What if I said that it was the tentacles that did the trick?

In reply to this comment by inflatablevagina:
Not wrong..... everyone loves a gigantic tentacled vagina.....right?

In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
Is it wrong that the sight of that turns me on?

What if I can't find Mr. Pibb? Would Dr. Pepper do? Or am I just assed out and would get a "sorry, maybe next time"?

In reply to this comment by inflatablevagina:
Yes pizza should do the trick.
Cheese and pineapple please. Oh and a Mr. Pibb. Then you're a shoe in

In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
The results of a proposal are 50/50? What, it just depends on what kind of mood you're in at the time? Remind me to show up with pizza when I do it, then.


Everyone loves pizza.

In reply to this comment by inflatablevagina:
That's what everyone says to me.
Results are 50/50


In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
I don't know whether I should be creeped out or if I should propose...

In reply to this comment by inflatablevagina:
Then I'd say... Nice to meet you

In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
What if I said that it was the tentacles that did the trick?

In reply to this comment by inflatablevagina:
Not wrong..... everyone loves a gigantic tentacled vagina.....right?

In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
Is it wrong that the sight of that turns me on?

Yes pizza should do the trick.
Cheese and pineapple please. Oh and a Mr. Pibb. Then you're a shoe in

In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
The results of a proposal are 50/50? What, it just depends on what kind of mood you're in at the time? Remind me to show up with pizza when I do it, then.


Everyone loves pizza.

In reply to this comment by inflatablevagina:
That's what everyone says to me.
Results are 50/50


In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
I don't know whether I should be creeped out or if I should propose...

In reply to this comment by inflatablevagina:
Then I'd say... Nice to meet you

In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
What if I said that it was the tentacles that did the trick?

In reply to this comment by inflatablevagina:
Not wrong..... everyone loves a gigantic tentacled vagina.....right?

In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
Is it wrong that the sight of that turns me on?

Holy Crapr!!!

Nice to see you back. Now, if you could provide more exotic dildo videos, it would be even more of a hoot.

Colbert should interview the "Ass Pineapple Lobby" in his better know a lobbyist series!

The fightin' hemorrhoids!

1. http://www.videosift.com/video/The-ultimate-Mentos-commercial-parody
2. http://www.videosift.com/video/What-should-be-done-to-tailgaters
3. http://www.videosift.com/video/A-Pineapple-shaped-Dildo
4. http://www.videosift.com/video/Baby-Red-Panda-toddling-along

Sorry for the late post, I've gone through and revoted for all my favorite vids from everybody's posts here.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'pineapple, express, james, franco, seth, rogen, oscar, academy award' to 'pineapple express, james franco, seth rogen, oscar, academy awards, 2009' - edited by lucky760

>> ^peggedbea:
>> ^White:
my (lesbian) friend dated a vegetarian once. she said they taste better. i've never had the chance to date a vegetarian, so i'm taking her word for it.

its true, they do taste better.
things that make your semen taste..well... more palatable:
tomatoes
stinky cheeses
olives
pineapple
mango
papaya
honeydew melon


Ew...ew...ew....ew...

That's like all my dad and step mom keep in their fridge

ew...ew...ew....ew...ew..