I'm playing the game and enjoying it. First off, these guys clearly are trying to bash the game. I mean, who starts the level by running off the edge of a cliff and then says "see, this sucks". Then picks the scene with the elevator falling, and doesn't even pull the handbrake until the end and wonders why they die. The one guy hasn't even seen the game until his buddy shows him parts and he says "boy this is boring". No shit, it doesnt matter what the game is, if i'm watching someone else play, its going to be boring as all hell.

So the game runs great on my computer. Looks good too. I can't tell you what it looks like on a console, nor do I give a shit about consoles. If you are playing a fps on a console, you're missing out. Anyway, my load times average 3 seconds. I have detected no bugs or buggy play so far. It feels solid to me. I heard people complain that it had no music, but it does. Not so much as to be annoying, kicks in when it should, it gives you clues about when a big fight is coming and ends when you're done. The pacing is a little slow in some areas, but not enough that i was ever bored. There is a lot to look at in the world. Its populated with items and posters and whatnot fairly well. I felt like there was a lot of attention paid to the details in the world. There are a lot of things you can interact with, but i wish there was a higher level of interactivity and a little more in the way of physics on items.

I don't like the fact that you can't go off and explore everywhere, and the "secret areas" I found were simple with maybe one or two hidden objects stashed there. But then I played the "strip club" level. I realized that besides just putting strippers and boobs back into the game, that level is actually a fun little exploration level with more than one way and more than one area to find all the items.

I heard complaints that there is no mighty boot, but there is, it's just automatic now, it's used when it needs to be and I kinda like that. It's not overused and it feels powerful. Speaking of which, all the weapons so far feel pretty good and sound nice and beefy.

Dukes animations are pretty good (and his jump animation in the mirror is a cool throw-back to the old duke). I like when he gets thrown or falls down and gets back up, it looks good and makes me feel more like I'm playing as duke. The enemy animations are good. The non player characters are what is lacking in both detail and animation

I thought his one liners would get annoying fast, but they aren't too bad, some made me laugh a little. Some of the encounters are truly funny. Some are not.

I also heard some people say there aren't enough enemies at once, but I had many encounters with a lot of enemies so I don't know what they are talking about.

Overall I feel like i'm playing in a real world with enough attention to detail to not be too bland. I don't know how far into the game I am. I am taking my time and not just rushing through and I probably have a good 7, maybe 8 hours with it so far and I'm glad I bought it. I have no regrets and am having fun with it.

So there is my opinion of the game so far. I'm tired of people bashing games just because they think it's cool to do so. How about for once an actual in depth review of all the games attributes by someone who wasn't purposely looking to find as much negative that they could and exaggerate it.

And just as a side note, I actually played Diakatana from start to finish and once the patch was released and you got past the misquitos and frogs in the very beginning, the game was actually quite good (for it's time of course). Yet most people wouldn't know it because reviewers were trying their best to steer people away from it. I see duke getting bad reviews because its not the best game ever, so instead of a 7 out of ten (that's what I would give it so far, and I played a lot of games over the years), they try to make a point by giving it a 3 or something stupidly low.

Plan B strippers on Pico Ave need to be dipped in this liquid because their fat asses can't hang on a pole, let alone climb it.

Definitely Spanish, with the slight "lisp" you hear in parts of Spain.

>> ^spoco2:

Absolutely nothing wrong at all with breasts, boobs, bums, vaginas, dicks... nothing. And there is most definitely something screwed up with the current bizarro world of censorship where violence is fine, but a hint of nudity has them up in arms.
However... my question for this video (obviously based only on vision as I have no idea what they're saying) is why is it that all the women are in revealing outfits and stripper heels or at least stilettos, while the guys are just in casual clothes? There doesn't seem to be any equality there at all.
Why wasn't there a guy having his clothes stripped off except for some budgie smugglers?
Just asking...
And is that really Spanish? Sounds very Italian to me.

Absolutely nothing wrong at all with breasts, boobs, bums, vaginas, dicks... nothing. And there is most definitely something screwed up with the current bizarro world of censorship where violence is fine, but a hint of nudity has them up in arms.

However... my question for this video (obviously based only on vision as I have no idea what they're saying) is why is it that all the women are in revealing outfits and stripper heels or at least stilettos, while the guys are just in casual clothes? There doesn't seem to be any equality there at all.

Why wasn't there a guy having his clothes stripped off except for some budgie smugglers?

Just asking...

And is that really Spanish? Sounds very Italian to me.

I had a hotter stripper.. and then I married her!

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I have no idea what the fuck this is, but I love it HAHAHA

edit: Oh shit its Andy Samberg and his crew.
In reply to this comment by eric3579:
Turtle neck n’ chain (x3) (sippin’ on a light beer) – (x2)
My turtleneck fat and my chain so thin,
N’ im sippin’ light beer, n my crew right here
Chain razor thin like beer in my cup,
And my sweater on turtle with the neck on buff
Huge turtle neck and my chain so skinny
Beer light all night, stand up get dizzy
Light cup, beer drink, thin so chain, neck turtle fat, man I won’t say it again
Turtle neck n’ chain (x3) (sippin’ on a light beer)
Turtle neck (check) with another on deck
Incase I spill something on it (like some light beer, yeah)
We be braggin’ bout who’s chain the thinnest
Turtle neck thicker than delta burse women in the Guinness (now bear with me)
But they can’t see my chain,
Metal so thin it dissolve when it rains
Got more chains than the snow patrol
Everyone razor thin like an insect stripper pole
Turtle neck n’ chain (x3) (sippin’ on a light beer)
Chain so light when police roll by, i made it flow (I made it flow)
And my beer so light you could see right through it, like a ghost
And i also wear turtle necks
Sweaters swallowing my chain like it’s stuck in the couch
Looking like cookie mother floss in this mouth
Find me coolin’ on the corner sippn’ light beer foam
You can tell by my turtle neck and chain that i bone
T-turtleneck, light beer n’ a thin ass chain, n’ that’s it (x2)

-Snoop Dogg-

The rabbit kicked the bucket, dog said f**k it,
Get my 2 step on, with my turtle neck on
Thin ass chain, like beer in my glass
Mackin at the bitches, the ones with the ass
Girl you know it’s true, tell me what it do
Oh you like my style, say you like my crew
Say you wanna’ be under my chest, this turtle neck is like one of my best (x2)
So i guess your dress, no stress, stayin’ fresh as my bandana
Ima crook, so my look, ima game go getta
The fatter the puppy, get the fluffy, get the bigger the turtleneck,
The more gangster it is




The Lonely Island feat. Snoop Dogg - Turtleneck & Chain

Turtle neck n’ chain (x3) (sippin’ on a light beer) – (x2)
My turtleneck fat and my chain so thin,
N’ im sippin’ light beer, n my crew right here
Chain razor thin like beer in my cup,
And my sweater on turtle with the neck on buff
Huge turtle neck and my chain so skinny
Beer light all night, stand up get dizzy
Light cup, beer drink, thin so chain, neck turtle fat, man I won’t say it again
Turtle neck n’ chain (x3) (sippin’ on a light beer)
Turtle neck (check) with another on deck
Incase I spill something on it (like some light beer, yeah)
We be braggin’ bout who’s chain the thinnest
Turtle neck thicker than delta burse women in the Guinness (now bear with me)
But they can’t see my chain,
Metal so thin it dissolve when it rains
Got more chains than the snow patrol
Everyone razor thin like an insect stripper pole
Turtle neck n’ chain (x3) (sippin’ on a light beer)
Chain so light when police roll by, i made it flow (I made it flow)
And my beer so light you could see right through it, like a ghost
And i also wear turtle necks
Sweaters swallowing my chain like it’s stuck in the couch
Looking like cookie mother floss in this mouth
Find me coolin’ on the corner sippn’ light beer foam
You can tell by my turtle neck and chain that i bone
T-turtleneck, light beer n’ a thin ass chain, n’ that’s it (x2)

-Snoop Dogg-

The rabbit kicked the bucket, dog said f**k it,
Get my 2 step on, with my turtle neck on
Thin ass chain, like beer in my glass
Mackin at the bitches, the ones with the ass
Girl you know it’s true, tell me what it do
Oh you like my style, say you like my crew
Say you wanna’ be under my chest, this turtle neck is like one of my best (x2)
So i guess your dress, no stress, stayin’ fresh as my bandana
Ima crook, so my look, ima game go getta
The fatter the puppy, get the fluffy, get the bigger the turtleneck,
The more gangster it is





The Lonely Island feat. Snoop Dogg - Turtleneck & Chain

Turtle neck n’ chain (x3) (sippin’ on a light beer) – (x2)
My turtleneck fat and my chain so thin,
N’ im sippin’ light beer, n my crew right here
Chain razor thin like beer in my cup,
And my sweater on turtle with the neck on buff
Huge turtle neck and my chain so skinny
Beer light all night, stand up get dizzy
Light cup, beer drink, thin so chain, neck turtle fat, man I won’t say it again
Turtle neck n’ chain (x3) (sippin’ on a light beer)
Turtle neck (check) with another on deck
Incase I spill something on it (like some light beer, yeah)
We be braggin’ bout who’s chain the thinnest
Turtle neck thicker than delta burse women in the Guinness (now bear with me)
But they can’t see my chain,
Metal so thin it dissolve when it rains
Got more chains than the snow patrol
Everyone razor thin like an insect stripper pole
Turtle neck n’ chain (x3) (sippin’ on a light beer)
Chain so light when police roll by, i made it flow (I made it flow)
And my beer so light you could see right through it, like a ghost
And i also wear turtle necks
Sweaters swallowing my chain like it’s stuck in the couch
Looking like cookie mother floss in this mouth
Find me coolin’ on the corner sippn’ light beer foam
You can tell by my turtle neck and chain that i bone
T-turtleneck, light beer n’ a thin ass chain, n’ that’s it (x2)

-Snoop Dogg-

The rabbit kicked the bucket, dog said f**k it,
Get my 2 step on, with my turtle neck on
Thin ass chain, like beer in my glass
Mackin at the bitches, the ones with the ass
Girl you know it’s true, tell me what it do
Oh you like my style, say you like my crew
Say you wanna’ be under my chest, this turtle neck is like one of my best (x2)
So i guess your dress, no stress, stayin’ fresh as my bandana
Ima crook, so my look, ima game go getta
The fatter the puppy, get the fluffy, get the bigger the turtleneck,
The more gangster it is




The Lonely Island feat. Snoop Dogg - Turtleneck & Chain

Good, Thats sorted.

now, on to the strippers and beer or beer and then strippers ???

Britta Perry's stripper name is Cherry Daiquiri. I did not know that.

Still not getting it. *click*

Just look at actors and actresses that are on most television shows. They have people who in most locations in their viewing areas would be considered much more attractive than any of their viewing audience. So much so that when they have to portray someone as someone who was picked on due to their looks......they also tend to be maybe one notch below these actors and actresses, but still way beyond the typical audience.

It's just what people expect to see and probably want to see. If they stuck a bunch of normal "ugly" people on television, without the make up, lighting, hair, etc.....unless it's some sort of comedy to make fun of the normal state of shows...is probably not going to make it.

As for how they portray men, they make special efforts for men to make sure the short but "hero" guys are filmed in ways where they appear as tall as any other man on the show. Often by having the "hero" stand on a curb or the other guy stand in a low spot. You'll especially notice this when they have basketball players making appearances on movies and such, they would probably be lucky if the typical male reached their shoulders in height but often they are face to face.

I am sure if you looked for heroes/heroines and such you'd notice there's something specific Hollywood does with lighting, make-up and music to ingrain into our minds when the hero is on screen versus a villain on screen. Often using males with larger noses, heavier brows, scars, etc...whether natural or cosmetic to portray villains. And never forget the villain "cackling" laughter for both genders.

I think it's a little more evident in women because both men and women pay attention to the women on screen. Men mostly out of attraction, and women out of their "catty" natures. You can see catty-ness in person when you see women who work in service places like a bank, and a woman comes in dressed provocatively...you'll see the women at the bank whisper to each other and often be rather rude. You might see similar behavior in them when a man comes in, but they are pleasant even flirty toward the man, not rude. You might get rude behavior if a homeless guy comes in. Women are also really rude to any woman they feel use their good looks to get anything. IE if a woman is a dancer/stripper/porn/model/nude model/trophy wife/etc. They are looked down upon by all women but women who've done something similar in the past or were on the verge of doing something like in the past (IE they could, but didnt..not they wanted to but no one would have them). You'll see something similar to this in males when it comes to sports. Especially when it comes to how much the sports stars earn or if they screw up a play.

I am not saying it's not a real issue when they tamper with bodies via photoshop and what not, but I also think it's got a lot of jealousy mixed in as well.

>> ^nach0s:

Steve has a really great story he performed for The Moth (checkout their free podcast on iTunes) about going on a really awkward date with a stripper/Playboy Playmate/whatever during his Blues Clues time.


Man, glad you mentioned this, as I looked it up and found it on youtube (audio only), http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaC-U3w82Wk and it's made me very happy as it's STEVE He's funny, charming, witty... it's great, I like him again now, thanks

Steve has a really great story he performed for The Moth (checkout their free podcast on iTunes) about going on a really awkward date with a stripper/Playboy Playmate/whatever during his Blues Clues time.

Not a single word of hate for Games for Windows Live? Well I'll add it then.

You know when you've slept with one too many strippers and you get a surprise dosage of Chlamydia? That's what Games for Windows Live is. It's a pestulent boil on the otherwise fine, if large, ass of Bulletstorm. It even wanted me to register on XBOX live, even though I'm playing the PC game, presumably as a sex offender.

There is an UI designer that needs a serious whacking with a mouse. When I started the game for the first time, it said "Press Enter to continue" to the menu, I assumed, but when I did, I had to log into Games for Windows Live or burn in hell. So I did, found my login after some brain wracking and typed it all in. Then Games for Wünderkinds Live wanted to update. Alright, Games for Wonderbras Live, I'll play along. "Restart the game now?" But where? I was stuck back at the "Press Enter to Continue" screen in Bulletstorm, with no quit button. Oh, Pepic Can Fly, you dastardly UI Mavericks, I just have to press enter you say? "Plesae log in to Jims in Wanda Live to continue". "You cannot log in to Jims in Wanda Live right now, since it's being updated with more fucking chlamydia" Not only can I not get into the game and play, I can't get the hell out of it.