I don't wanna be a 24kt dick here, but I fucking HATE seagulls.

Seagulls and Canadian Geese are both the assholes of the avian world and fuck 'em both. God was in a shitty mood when he created these flying abominations. Oh, and pelicans. Yeah, fuck them, too. A pelican took a shit the size of a dinner plate on my (at the time) brand new '97 Z-28 Camaro. Right on the fucking windshield, too. I mean, one minute, I'm enjoying myself at the beach and the next minute I'm looking at a greasy green rotten-fish-reeking shit covering half my goddamn windshield. I have no clue what pelican anatomy looks like, but they must be 99% rectum and 1% ill intents. What a wonderful time to discover I was outta windshield wiper fluid, too. Two little squirts and then my wipers were just smearing semi-digested fish across my windshield. Oh, that FUCKER! I know which one did it, too -- it was the one sitting on a post like three feet away laughing at me. Oh, sure, I could have beaten it to death with a tire iron, but then *I* would have been the one in trouble. You can't ticket a pelican for taking a massive dump on your car, but beat one to death with 2 feet of galvanized steel and you're the one who has to explain it all to a judge.

People feed those rancid fuckers, too. I hope the next cocksucker who tosses a Ritz in the direction of a pelican is staring at the sky with mouth agape when the damned thing decides to void its football-sized ass. That'd be karma right there, and fuck all the people right now going "that's not how karma works!" They can just start putting their Dharma-believing asses to work cleaning my windshield with their tongues.

Please forgive me: I've been drinking for the last six hours and I've gotten maybe a little feisty.

*promote take a gander at THIS! That is some *quality goose steppin' right there.

Man, there was one video where this guy on a sidewalk was trying to rob a woman of her purse. Behind him were exit doors from some convention center. There two guys come out and spot the guy and they just stopped and looked at each other. The robber was so fired up he didn't even notice them. The two jumped him and it turned out they were local police officers at a police convention, so they just arrested him right there. Video was so funny.

Hillary's three word response on twitter:
"But my emails."
( https://twitter.com/HillaryClinton/status/1007376361101582336 )

I'm not a fan or supporter of hers, but that right there is a grade A quality burn, like when Obama called Dick Cheney the "worst president in his lifetime". Props where props are due!

*quality cool right there!! gotta *promote vivid imagery in a wild imagination

Something seems off about this video. At 0:29 the guy goes from just in front of the SUV with his door open to perfectly seated in the car at 0:31 with the door closed right as the SUV hits his car. How did he even get the door closed in time (as the SUV was right there). Doesn't look CGIed but seems off.

Boy Howdy .... *quality entertainment right there! [I'd like to see them try that with .... cats]

But there was another barricade up right there! Why not one next to it?!

Aye aye aye...

*quality human right there

this is an awful explanation, as there is nothing using the cat to "claw your face". guns are just a tool right? there are LOTS of tools. offer solutions that will actually prevent death, by all tools, and you will have my attention.

I had a pretty rough time in school. Plenty of people I would happily never see or speak to again.

But I don't think you should hold someone to account for dumb shit they did as a kid. Christ knows I did enough stupid shit in my youth. That doesn't mean you have to support them or even forgive them (at least not unless they make some effort to earn it), but I fail to see the point of dragging this up at a public meeting.

All that said, the superintendent's reaction is terrible here. If I was in the speakers position, having had the bravery to come forward and recount that experience, if my ex-bully had dismissed me like that, I'd have a very hard time not punching the motherfucker right there.

All he had to do was admit he was a stupid kid and apologise with a modicum of grace and humility. As it stands, I hope he loses his job because he's clearly a) an asshole and b) unfit.

Idk, kind of not in the spirit of the original game at all.

The whole thing with Doom was it was alarming to turn a corner and have a monster RIGHT THERE in your face. Gameplay was FAST too, which added to the feeling of immersion.

I hear the pew pew pew of this plasma rifle that's firing anything less than 20 rounds a second and weep digital tears.

Yeah, that is a lazy dad invention right there.

I once put rattle socks on my son's hands, and after about 5 minutes he almost funned himself to death.

"How easy it was for the government to totally suspend civil rights".

Should be: "How easy it was for the Democratically controlled state government to totally suspend civil rights".

There is no useful parallel between the movie's show host and the president of the United States and the fact he hosted a TV show. Entertainers have made it to the position of president or governor well before this point in time. It's just a useless coincidence that has no bearing on anything.

The Running Man basically got nothing right about 2017.

I can't find the link right now, but apparently he overslept, said fuck on TV, and won a gold, so that is pretty awesome right there.