I know this is serious but "MEDIC!... MEDIIIIIC!" Where do these people think they are, Omaha fucking beach.

>> ^transporter:
why was that guy at Omaha beach if he was airborne?....Michael's a lier.


ZOMG! A plot hole!

why was that guy at Omaha beach if he was airborne?....Michael's a lier.

Hear, hear brother.! Give that Lutheran pastor from Omaha the what for!

First things first, anal leakages of VideoShit. My name is thinker247, which means that I don't take time off from thinking, even when I'm sleeping. And in my sleep I could roast all of you like the testicle-kabobs that you are.

I told you motherfuckers to keep Blankfist away from the children, and now he's balls-deep in the kids and religion channels. Soon he'll be strutting around, preaching the virtues of anal deflowering as a method of salvation. Just like Oprah.

BeggedmetoPeeonher tells a yawn-inducing story worthy of some podunk Arkansas town's ratty news dish, and we're all supposed to fawn over it like Perez Hilton falling into punji stakes made of cocks.

The "Jester" pops his head in to make some serious announcement that he's made a million times, without even saying a word in jest. Hey Jester, you're as funny as rottenseed is relevant.

Speaking of rotten.cum, his appearance was as necessary as ovarian cancer and not nearly as comical. He couldn't buy a joke if he was Carlos Mencia. But enough of Flavor Flav's oreo baby...

It's time to fuck MrFisk. And unlike your dad, I'm not going to use a condom and I don't care if you tell your mom.

Where to begin with someone whose career hasn't begun? Seriously, of all your articles that I never read, they were terrible. And why pick the Nebraska paper? It's not like any of you can read more than the E at the top of the eye test. And that's only because you all guess.

Some of the fellow sifters mocked your employment at a porn shop, but it doesn't bother me that you were a blow-up sex doll. I just don't understand how you could stand having random semen forced into you every day. You had more douchebags grabbing your vinyl than a hipster music store.

I would write more, but I'm kind of bored...like anyone in Nebraska at any given time of the year.

Also, everyone at this roast has disappointed me. Except for thinker247. What a comedy stud. All of you should take a lesson from him. Seriously, give me money, assholes. I'm the king and I get this kind of worthless response? MrFisk, I'm sorry you had to be here for this. Mainly because there's a cow with a broken heart and an intact rectum, somewhere in Omaha.

Fuck you all.

Is this because of the blizzard and stocking up on needed food and goods beforehand?

/You could do a re-mix with Mario & Luigi, because they've got most of the problems here (or could have; maybe even a Airplane! version). For the friends in jail just use Bowser and Wario as they both are friend'lier, but still find time to get the next Nintendo title out the door.

//Good cover though and once again I'm forced to up vote gwiz665, who spent all of his levels up in force powers in upvotes for anything Internet(z). So far the range seems to be slightly off of the California coast, but extends farther over land--there are a shitload of video upvotes from Juárez, Mexico and Omaha, Nebraska--go figure.

She skipped Omaha.

Thanks for the link! That shit grows wild all over Omaha anyway they should legalize it. I knew a ton of people that grew it in their back yards and got away with it because it's all over the place there naturally. Or at least it used to be back in the 80's when I was there last. I'm pretty sure at one time Nebraska was one of the biggest hemp growing states in the country.

In reply to this comment by MrFisk:
http://www.dailynebraskan.com/opinion/hale-legalizing-marijuana-would-benefit-nebraska-1.2383284

>> ^residue:

Something like this happened to a friend of mine at the Omaha zoo. A gorilla charged her while she was standing by the glass. It was one of the few SERIOUSLY scary things I've encountered


I bet! When I was an early teen, I was in a local pet store, leaning over to look at this MASSIVE albino boa. Without warning, it lunged at my face and smashing into the glass.

Literally had to stumble a few steps, sit on the floor, and calm down for awhile. My older sisters were elsewhere in the store and shortly found me on the floor, glassy-eyed and shaking.

Something like this happened to a friend of mine at the Omaha zoo. A gorilla charged her while she was standing by the glass. It was one of the few SERIOUSLY scary things I've encountered

My parents were pretty strict too, but apparently not to the level of your mother. The first PG movie I saw was in fact Star Wars, when I was 10. I even saw it twice, not only because it was cool but it felt so exhilarating to see a PG movie. Then my brother and I figured out that we could buy tickets for a PG movie then sneak into a (gasp!) R-rated film at the multiplex. I can't remember for certain what the first R-rated movie I saw was, but maybe 'The Amityville Horror'? Thus my descent into evil began.

Re: Steve Martin - My parents didn't hate him, but they couldn't for the life of them see how he was funny. And you know back in the late '70s (if you can remember THAT far back) Steve Martin was the KING of comedians. Most standup comics performed in clubs and theaters, but Steve Martin was selling out arenas. In Omaha he sold out a 14,000 seat show. I've never seen anything like it before or since.

You should really check into Star Wars. It's a charming little film, and it has a few fans. Kind of an art house flick, but not too artsy fartsy.

In reply to this comment by Issykitty:
Yep, I really did. I remember not being able to see or do very much in terms of movies/ tv throughout my childhood/ teens unless I caught the occasional program at a friends house. I had a very very controlling and strict mama who thought all non-G-rated tv/ movies were the devil. I also clearly remember that she particularly did NOT like Steve Martin. LOL

edit: About your link... I am intrigued. What is this Star Wars thing?

In reply to this comment by kronosposeidon:
You really live a sheltered life, don't you? Hopefully you'll get around to watching this some time soon.In reply to this comment by dystopianfuturetoday:
Issy just saw The Jerk for the first time last night. *quality flick

Protip -
Reuben Kulakofsky invented the sandwich at a poker game in Omaha, Nebraska, in 1925. He was a local grocer at the time and dreamed up the combination to feed participants in a late-night poker game at the Blackstone Hotel in downtown Omaha when short on other supplies.

Fern Snider, a one-time waitress at the Blackstone Hotel, entered the Reuben in a national sandwich competition in 1956; her entry won--hence one of the earliest pieces of documentation for the name of the sandwich.

>> ^kronosposeidon:

The title is a bit misleading, because the child didn't have sex reassignment surgery, or a "sex change," as most people term it. I don't think any ethical physician would perform sex reassignment surgery on a child. This child would be considered transgendered.
I know the whole transgender/homosexuality subject is tricky at times. My younger brother also used to wrap towels around his head and call himself "Lindy" when he was just three or four years old. He also used to have some toys that were gender normative for girls. If you haven't guessed by now, he's gay, and he's happy being a gay man. He doesn't want to be a woman. That's why doctors would never perform sex reassignment surgery on a child, because it's way too soon for them to properly judge what they really want to be. Hell, a lot of transgendered adults aren't sure what they want to be exactly. That's why many of them are refused for sex reassignment surgery.
I grew up in Omaha, and even though it's a fairly large city (750,000 in the greater Omaha area), I bet from this report that most people will be able to figure out who this kid is anyway. It's a big small town, you might say. I wish her the best.

Yea, my "brother" did the same things. The sad thing is, I was an only child. So yea, I played with dolls, didn't have a strong father figure in my life to take notes from. The fact of the matter is, I didn't have a real sexuality before puberty. I wasn't a sexual being. I was asexual. Whatever I did was driven by learned behavior and not by hormonal directives. So, now I'm a straight male, and I'm glad my mom didn't stifle my "different" behavior, but I wasn't decidedly a female because of these things.

The title is a bit misleading, because the child didn't have sex reassignment surgery, or a "sex change," as most people term it. I don't think any ethical physician would perform sex reassignment surgery on a child. This child would be considered transgendered.

I know the whole transgender/homosexuality subject is tricky at times. My younger brother also used to wrap/hang towels around his head and call himself "Lindy" when he was just three or four years old. He also used to have some toys that were gender normative for girls. If you haven't guessed by now, he's gay, and he's happy being a gay man. He doesn't want to be a woman. That's why doctors would never perform sex reassignment surgery on a child, because it's way too soon for them to properly judge what they really want to be. Hell, a lot of transgendered adults aren't sure what they want to be exactly. That's why many of them are refused for sex reassignment surgery.

I grew up in Omaha, and even though it's a fairly large city (750,000 in the greater Omaha area), I bet from this report that most people will be able to figure out who this kid is anyway. It's a big small town, you might say. I wish her the best.

Apparently it is real.

http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com/fitness_exercise_health/2009/08/double-down-chicken-sandwich-kfc-cardiac-special-of-the-day.html

But it's only being marketed in parts of Rhode Island and Omaha, Nebraska.

858 Calories; 62.4 grams of fat.