Pulled over to the river to take a rest
Pulled out a pair of pliers and pulled the bullet out of my chest
Fear and loathing across the country listening to my 8 track
I Reached behind the seat and grabbed a Kool from the pack
Long distance from my girl and I'm talking on the cellular
She said that she was sorry and I said yeah the hell you were
Check my rear view mirror check the gold tooth display
Check out the odometer and I was on my way
Cause I'm a high plains drifter the best that you can get
A strapped shoplifter a pirate on cassette
Bust a Travis Bickle when I feel that I'm getting pushed
Don't step to me or you're gonna get mushed
I'm Doing 120 plowing over mail boxes
Radar detector to tell me where the cops is
Spend another night at the Motel 6
It's five dollars extra get the porno flicks
Concoct a black and tan in my brandy snifter
I'm a kleptomaniac K-Mart shoplifter
Cash flow getting low so I had to pull a job
I found a nice place to visit but a better place to rob
I left my car outside and the engine still revvin'
Time to get busy at 7-Eleven
Then I went inside to make my withdrawal
I saw what he had had but I had to take it all


Knucklehead deli tried to gyp me on the price
So I clocked him off the turban with the bag of ice
Cause I'm mellow like Jell-O cool like lemonade
I made my getaway and I thought that I had it made
I feel like Steve McQueen a former movie star
Look in my rearview mirror seen a police car
Ballantine quarts with the puzzle on the cap
I couldn't help but notice I was caught in a speed trap
Dirty Mary Crazy Larry on the run from Dirty Harry
Stash the cash in the dash but my gun I did carry
I'm seeing blue and red flashing deep in the night
I got my alibi straight and I pulled over to the right
Cop knocked on my window and said Boy where's the fire
you've got a mailbox on your bumper and a bald front tire
Outta the car longhair your goose is cooked
Read me my rights fingerprinted and booked
Makin' like a D.T. driving a Gran Fury
Wherever I hang my hat's my home and my past is kind of blurry
Every dog will have its day and mine will be in front of a jury
I'm the High Plains Drifter and I'm never in a hurry
Read me my rights as if I didn't know this
Threw me in the tank with the drunk called Otis
With his five o' clock shadow he smelled of 3-day old beer
My man turned to me and said why are you here?
I said I'm charming and dashing I'm rental car bashing
Phony paper passing at Nix Check Cashing
I went before the judge he sent me to the Brooklyn House of D.
He said you behave son or we'll throw away the key
Harry Houdini'd out the cuffs I kicked the screw in the knee
Took the bailiff's wallet and went straight to O.T.B.
I had a good feeling easy come easy go
I bet on one horse to win and another to show
And sure enough that knak came in
Brought my ticket to the window and collected my win
Broke into my new car with a wire coat hanger
Hot wired hot wheeled and Suzy is a headbanger

We'll call this internet apocrypha. Found it in the following forum archive: http://www.redflagdeals.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-298404.html

--

From the archive:

HEre's what I could find about the idiot:

"In this case, "Mullet" (as his friends call him), survived after a month in the hospital. When this video was actually new, there was a forum up where he came on to answer any questions about the accident... but when the thread was avalanched with slams towards Mullet for being such a ing dumbass, they eventually closed it.

There is still this thread where a moderator had the chance to talk to the kid that taped the whole thing.... you can find it here: http://forums.nasioc.com/forums/sho...16&page=1&pp=25"

"Here are some of the highlights from the chat logs with the one guy who filmed the video:
A photo of the kid who hit the car with his face. Matt Lake a.k.a. (Mullet).

These chat transcripts are taken from another forum.

UPDATE: Paul, the video's cinematographer has left his AIM I.D. open for any questions you guys have. Pv8man999 is his address.

I contacted him, he couldn't really talk to me on AIM since he is being bombarded with IMs but he did send me a log of a previous conversation to answer any questions I might have.

----------------------------
Pv8man
Joined: Jan 30, 2005
Dear somethingawful forum posters
I am glad that the truth about the clip has been revealed.
As some of you may guess, I am the one who filmed the clip.
and yes I have tons of proof to back it up, such as the original full quality clip, and pictures and videos of Matt Lake (mullet). Also have pictures of mullet in the hospital which I will get from him problably within the next day or so.

I wasn't able to post on here because I didn't have an account until now.
Thank you so much for the account nailPuppy and also for chatting with me and posting the real info on here.
Sincerly

~Pv8man
http://www.pv8.20m.com

----------------------------
From the website:

8/19/2004
As some of you may know. There has been a tragic accident with Matt Lake (Mullet). Matt Lakes did not do it for the video, it was just a small prank gone horrably wrong. No one put him up to it, he did it on his own. But the good news is that he is recovering and is doing great.
----------------------------

Chat 1

Question: hello sir
Answer: hello
Question: I hear you're the chap whose friend's face was welded to a bumper
Answer: you're from the forum correct?
Question: that is correct
Answer: yes
Question: you should submit that tape to Max X or one of those shows
Answer: here is what really happend
Question: it'd be the GREATEST ONE EVER

Answer: I was the one who filmed it, me and my friends make videos, that day we were bored, and the person that fell out, named matt, nicknamed mullet. Saw one of the kids, that he knew, and what he liked to do as a joke was smack them in the back of the head, they always do it to each other. So I thought it would be funny to film it, he rolled down the window and was gonna reach out and smack him, but since the new cars windows only go half way down, he couldent reach. So he opened the door, and was hanging onto the door, but the kid on the bike swerved in closer, and mullet lost his balence after the door hit the back of his bike seat, and fell off. He didn't die.

Question: haha
Answer: he's still alive and well thank god
Question: was it ever in the papers or anything?
Answer: he was in the hospital for almost a month having lots of surgery
Answer: no
Question: haha why not
Answer: the only thing that was recorded
Answer: was the police report
Answer: because of the insurance info
Answer: because his door hit the other car
Answer: which is why it shut so fast
Answer: we got off lucky thank god
Question: haha yeah
Answer: it just bugs the **** out of me when people make all these false accusations
Answer: and I cant tell them anything
Question: eh what are you gonna do, it's 45,000 people on the internet
Question: I'd just ignore it if I were you
Answer: I know
Question: But you REALLY should send the tape to one of those shows
Answer: it was never ment to get out
Question: I bet they'd do a feature on the kid
Question: and pay mad bank
Answer: the only reason why I made the clip
Answer: was because the doctors and his mom needed to see exactlly what happend
Answer: I dont know how it got out
Answer: when I found out I just flipped
Answer: because no one else was supposed to know that it was recorded
Answer: for fear that they would think I put him up to it
Question: haha
Question: well it's famous on the internet now!
Answer: I know
Answer: unfortunatly
Answer: I guess there is no stopping it now
Question: I'd say fortunately, as it has brought many laughs
Answer: but I wish I would have put the web site address on there
Answer: we need visitors
Answer: we made our 1st movie a year ago
Answer: its very good
Answer: an hour long
Answer: and its downloadable off the site
Question: cool
Question: you could always release higher quality/longer versions of the clip, and put it on your site
Question: maybe in like full size xvid for maximum face-smashing glory
Question: Do you have any pics of what it was like afterwards?
Question: Hospital, stitches, etc?
Answer: mullet has them
Answer: no damage was dont to the rest of his body
Answer: just his head
Answer: yeah I saw
Question: No ****?
Answer: wanna know something else that was amazing
Question: Whats that?
Answer: he had his glasses on
Answer: and they werent broken
Question: Were there people in the car that his head impacted with?
Answer: no
Answer: it was parked
Question: What kinda surgery did he need?
Answer: what do you mean what kind?
Question: Did he need skin grafts or anything?
Question: That had to mess up at least his lips or something
Answer: but a big chunk of his upper lip was missing
Question: Kinda like a cleft lip?
Answer: yeah
Answer: basically
Question: What vendetta did you have against the kid in the red shirt?
Answer: I dont have anything against him
Question: Did your friends have a grudge?
Answer: he knows us for our movie
Answer: and friends with mullet
Answer: no
Question: Why did mullet hang onto the door?
Question: He could have let go, and he would have been fine
Question: Man....that sucks
Answer: you know what, I asked him alot of times
Answer: to this day he doesent know
Answer: he still can't remember much
Question: Did you keep filming after the end of the video?
pv8man: No, we didn't keep filming, at the end of the clip I run to the car to put my camera in it. If you see the clip, I get out to run to him but then go back to put my camera in the car.

Chat 2

antipop59: You and your friends are Internet Celebrities!
pv8man999: I still have the original clip
pv8man999: full DV quality, non-rendered. also footage of mullet.
antipop59: Is the one on the net edited in any way?
pv8man999: no
pv8man999: I serisouly thought he was dead
antipop59: you must have been traumatized
pv8man999: I got so scared
pv8man999: yes
pv8man999: very
pv8man999: to this day me and my friends don't like to talk about it
antipop59: were you guys smoking weed? Someone thought they spotted a cigarette or a joint in the passenger's hand I think
pv8man999: cigg
pv8man999: when I came up to him
pv8man999: he was still breathing
antipop59: was he just mangled?
pv8man999: but imagine every bone from your nose down broke
pv8man999: and 5 missing whole teeth on the street
pv8man999: no blood on the teeth
pv8man999: they ripped clean out
pv8man999: he was not conscious
pv8man999: so I had to keep him on his side so he wouldn't choke
pv8man999: the ****ing ambulance took 30 minutes to get there and the hospital wasn't far either
antipop59: what about the bike kid/kids? One of them looked like he got a first-hand look at the impact
pv8man999: yeah he was pretty freaked out
pv8man999: also
pv8man999: yes
pv8man999: this really wasn't meant to happen
pv8man999: it was just a freak accident
antipop59: lol I think that goes without saying
pv8man999: and for the rest of the people that say things like .."I'm glad hes dead he deserved what he got"...with out any facts...those people can go to hell
antipop59: well let's clarify one thing. The people who saw the video and made that kind of comment were under the [wrongful] suspicion that Mullet was attacking a random kid. If this had been the case, what would you think. I'm curious
pv8man999: well if that were the case if I were a random person and I KNEW that's what they were doing...I might have said something similar
antipop59: heh ok
antipop59: how does he look post-surgery?
pv8man999: he looks kinda the same exept fake teeth

chat 3

Question: The video shown is yours, am I correct, at the time you were playing the song "This Is The New ****" by Marylin Manson.
pv8man999: Yeah
Question: How is the kid doing?
pv8man999:He is back to normal.
pv8man999: As if nothing happened.
pv8man999: it wasn't in the papers.
pv8man999: He had both sides of his jaw broken, 5 missing teeth, broken nose, and also the jaw bracket that holds the front teeth in, and his eye got cut.
pv8man999: he was hospitalized in the university of chicago childrens hospital and he had to have lots of surgery
pv8man999: also the back of his skull was cracked and they had to stop the bleeding before anything
pv8man999: in his brain
Question: how old was the kid
pv8man999: 14
pv8man999: he's 15 now.
Question: The kid on the bike he slapped, i mean.
pv8man999: 12 i think
pv8man999: wait
pv8man999: no he was the same age
pv8man999: 14
Question: what was he trying to do to the kid?
pv8man999: he was trying to smack the kid
pv8man999: with his hand
pv8man999: he used to do it all the time

We bought a new car here in Canada this year. The dealers in my town only had automatics. It was a special request to get a standard! Strange!

"Automatic = Higher price tag"

>> ^KnivesOut:
WP your argument is based entirely on the preconception that humans have to continue to use at least as much if not more energy that we currently do.
With the increasing cost of energy, the demand for it will be reduced. Economics 101.


The global population is not decreasing, it's growing exponentially. Add to that the fact that developing countries like China and India have done a u-turn and are now more capitalist than we are. That is enabling more of them to outbid us for resources to power their new cars and homes and appliances, we didn't have to compete with that before. There is a global shift of capital happening from the deeply indebted and welfarist west to booming capitalist countries in Asia. If you tax fossil fuels here, Asia will be happy to take them off our luddite hands. You cannot artificially induce a transition to technologies that are hopelessly inefficient and expensive, you will be kicking people out of their cars, homes, off their computers.

70% of our oil is imported and we haven't built a nuclear power plant in decades to prepare for a transition to electric cars. Even if it were possible to snap our fingers and make every car and tanker electric, our electric grid is completely incapable of that load, we're getting blackouts in California already. How are we going to keep the cost of transportation and products as cheap as it is now without a massive, massive amount of nuclear power?

>> ^xxovercastxx:
The idea that it can be improved is a pipe dream.


I completely agree. I think the viral marketing gimmick is on its last legs as well. Now it's just a corporate buzzword that every conglomerate CEO throws around to sound hip, and every single product needs a "viral" campaign now, from toilet paper to new cars.

Most of my copy-writer/ad-design friends are sick to death of viral bullshit, and after the ATHF fiasco a few years back, I think the entire concept of a viral campaign was doomed.

VS 4.0 could use some help in regards to channel assignments.

well, i'm glad no one was hurt, but i really wish it had been loeb to drop down the cliff. i'm SO sick of watching him win. he's a really great driver and deserves every win he's gotten, but still.

i'm rooting for petter this year, and i'm really really glad it wasn't petter that dropped down the cliff, cause i'm not sure his private entry this year could have recovered. jari-matti will just get a shiny new car from ford. sucks that he had to retire on day 1 tho, and on his birthday no less!

I also like the bit where he mentions "something called magnetic levitation" as if it's ridiculous, and not super-high tech and cool.

Oh, and the new cars he mentions in this clip? They're hybrids, or I suppose I should say "something called a 'high-bridge'".

I seem to recall seeing a talk he gave on this subject somewhere on the sift. I agree with his assessment that libertarianism logically requires the abandonment of IP. You and I have discussed this concept previously, though not this precisely.

I think a well written book is able to make a coherent case largely because the author is forced to abandon defense. The work must stand without rebuttal or clarification, so if it is done well it must make a solid case. Clearly many works fail miserably, and it is easy enough to pick apart absurd and shallow work, but when something is clear and well thought out it's very compelling.

My position on IP is that it, and all property, should be abolished. Pragmatically I would be happy with a compromise. I suggest that the length of all IP from first use(published/produced) should be 14yrs at the UNIX Epoch(1970 Jan 1 ,00:00), degrading with a 20yr half life, bottoming out at 12mo. This strategy makes sure that as production and transmission technology speed up the monopoly term drops in tandem.

Furthermore this limited IP monopoly should only apply to trade, If I buy a brand new car, and decide to start mass-producing replicas, I should not be subject to legal action unless I actually attempt to sell or trade one.

Through what physical mechanism does the government create jobs?

It can create specific jobs, for sure, by channeling resources from one area to another. For example, the government can create construction jobs by taxing/borrowing $1 trillion and using it to build roads.

However, if giving out $1 trillion can create 1000 jobs, wouldn't taking back $1 trillion destroy 1000 jobs? Or, to word it differently, wouldn't taking back $1 trillion prevent 1000 jobs from being created? How can it be said to work one way, but not the other?

If the money is taxed, then there is no net increase in jobs because the resources were merely diverted. If spending can create jobs, then whether the government spends the money or consumers do is irrelevant. Spending (demand) creates jobs (supply) regardless of the source of spending. Saving and spending are likewise equivalent--whether you spent $10,000 on a new car, or save $10,000 in a bank is irrelevant. Your $10,000 in a bank would've ended up as a car loan to another person who didn't have the money buy it directly. In fact, as a result of compound interest, saving money actually puts far more money into the economy because it creates wealth on top of the principle.

If the money is borrowed or created out of thin air, it is true there is a short-term increase in jobs. However, if this money is ever to be paid back (i.e. taxed) then those jobs will all be lost in the future. In fact, the number of jobs lost will be much greater than the number of jobs created because of the interest paid on the money borrowed.

Thus, the government can only destroy jobs by spending money. Government spending is only a short term mask to the problem--one we have been applying for the last 90 years. Perhaps we are finally seeing the long-term effects?

"Man, this is the best birthday present I could have ever got."

Wow. I'm sorry. That made me very sad. I mean, a new car, a handjob from three trannies, a half drunk bottle of beer um.. just about anything....

Or the thought that there might have once been microbes that belched gas.

reminds me of the old In Living Color skit with Jim Carrey selling flat-u-scents. Is this a new car?

Ya, I seriously doubt the rationality of such a vehicle. If automakers could do it, they would. Even if the oil companies hated them, they'd make billions in the first year alone since it would be cheaper for everyone to buy new cars than use the existing. I would also imagine the government would mandate it since it would stop ALL dependence on foreign oil.

I don't know the testing conditions, but I do know that if acceleration is taken out of the equation (i.e. the car is propelled to it's cruising speed by some other means) and all it does is maintain it's cruising speed then it could work.

I love that guy near the end who saw about 10 people make it. He probably bought a new car right after this.

...well, some new cars do have 'adaptive brake lights', where the braking intensity is displayed by lights become more intense and/or spread over a larger surface area.

Except in emergency situations I would think flashing lights annoying.

Je suis nee au Montreal! It's been too long since I was there... like ten years. Think I'll take my new car up there soon.