Meh. My college friend did a better job by going under my matress and lifting it up to wake me up.

whats the point in having matresses he missed them all

By the way, there's good reason to not make your bed every day. Leaving your bed unmade allows moisture to dissipate, which give mites in your sheets and matress a less hospitable environment to reproduce.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/4181629.stm

Good telltale signs for bedbugs is fecal spotting on the bed and mattress from when the bugs take a dump after gorging on your delicious blood... Even if they aren't staying in your matress, you'll should still get signs.

http://www.bedbugcentral.com/bedbugs101/topic.cfm/how-do-i-know-i-have-bed-bugs

Having slept in my fair share of hotels in my life, spotting is the first thing I check for on entering a room.

ps. Have a good night sleep everyone!

I think it's obvious what he tries to say with "protect your assets". He wants to say it more directly, but can't because he knows it would then be clear he would LOVE for a real crisis to happen, and is saying this shit just to help it happen.

What he means is: Go to the bank, and withdraw any money you have, and stuff it in your matress.

If everybody "protects their assets" banks will go down in a flash, and his sociopathic dream will come true.

Translated lyrics from movits.se

Born in the 80′s
In the middle of it
Then I was just the child, or maybe the grandchild
Not at all interested in tomorrow
Reality, really?
Yeah, whatever
Back then it was Abbey Road, Plura and Rolling Stones
on the grammophone ’til the day I moved away from home
Now it’s Evert Taube, Dylan, Common and Wailing Souls
Wonder where the inspiration’s coming from
————–
They say I sound Oldskool baby
Like Frank and Sammy Davis
Sing in the rain like Gene Kelly
No, I just can’t believe what they say
but they tell me it was better way back in the days…
2x
—————-
Not the one to be strivin’ backwards
But black shoes after 6 PM
I bought sneaks for half of the money
the rest I put in the matress, savin up for a rainy day
No, if thats the way it’s supposed to be
Ain’t really got nothing between the sheets
Meanwhile the oldfolks dream ’bout Jerry Lee
Gamblin away their pension on lottery
The house catches fire – For example
Call the firedepartment – Call the police
Lawyers – Lord Jesus,
Just as long as I don’t miss the reruns
of The Man From Uncle
Garfunkel and Simon
I grew up on A-team, Airwolf and MacGyver
cause I’ve heard from the elders
that everything was better back in the days
even the weather
CHORUS
This is what we in Luleå call a James Brown Moment:
They call it a daydream, sayin it was different
But grandma, it’s allright
That I should grow up, cut my hair and get a job
and not tryin to be James Brown
But was it not the same,
For young mom and dad, when it happened,
Woodstock, back in the 70′s
or was it maybe 69′
im just wonderin’
if it wasn’t just really all the same?

He missed a few races to offend, otherwise pretty spot-on for what a matress commercial should be.

Was she included with the matress?

I "graded" your quiz

1. What do you do when you are not at the computer?

• Paint - That figures
• Watch DVDs - Wow you don't leave the house?
• Attend movies - By yourself most likely
• Work Sudoku puzzles - Afraid of real math?
• Get together with friends - Free meals at the soup kitchen don't count as "get together with friends
• Dine at restaurants - Translation: Dig in the dumpsters behind restaurants
• Attend art presentations - Staring at the back tattoo of a tranny prostitute hardly counts as "attending art presentations"
• Attend Mac meetings - ...
• Visit art museums/exhibitions - You already said that, but then again you probably don't have much going on in your life
• Take digital photos and videos - Draw "cave paintings" on the walls of the overpass you live under.
• Attend parties/receptions - Always the crasher never the invitee?
• Read books on art - Read...books...on...art. hmmm...fascinating

2. What is your favorite of your posted videos?

“MANtage” - you spelled "MANspooge" wrong

3. How many avatars have you had since being a member? What were (are) they?

Ten
• dot art – levee break waves
• dot art – 40 shades of blue
• dot art – green Chinese lion
• dot art – purple design from plaster relief
• dot art – leopard-like patterns
• dot art – eye shapes orange on black
• rainy windshield photo
• Dutch Alley blur
• pond goldfish photo
• Chinese dragon float profile photo (current one)
^Just can't quite encapsulate your mediocrity through visual aids, eh?

4. What non-self-involved site do you visit most often?

Apple Movie Trailers - To look at coming attractions nobody will ever invite you to see

5. If you had a time machine would you keep it clean?

Clean?!? What does that mean?!? - You know, clean like how you feel after your bimonthly dip in the sewers

6. What is your ratio of pairs of shoes to underwear?

1: 21 - Make that 1/2 : 1

7. Is that underwear boxer, brief, or birthday?

Boxers - Women's panties

8. Do you run a Mac OS, Windows, or Linux?

Mac OS - Coincidently Mac & Cheese is your main source of nutrition too

9. Would you most prefer to be involved in a monumental one-of-a-kind hiking expedition, working on a breakthrough cure for a debilitating illness, or presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data?

presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data - Pretending to have a girlfriend while dry humping his semen encrusted matress

10. What is your favorite ice cream topping? Favorite (non-ice-cream-related) spice?

Topping – chocolate syrup - By the time you get to the ice cream, it's already melted
Spice - saffron - Dried eucalyptus leaves

11. Are you a tits, ass, or legs man?

Yes - Translation: "I'm desparate"

12. What kind of pet(s) do you have? Include name(s).

Used to have cats:

Red (orange tabby) - killed and ate it
Storm (gray tabby with white socks – picked out Spring 1991 during Desert Storm) - Road kill that you found and dragged around on a leash for the summer of '91
Pierre (peppered fur mix) - Make believe animal that keeps me company during those lonely nights

13. What kind of pelt(s) do you have? Include name(s).

None. However, a former girlfriend brought me The Australian Lucky Pouch when she returned from her trip her trip Down Under. - Hahahaha! girlfriend...that's rich

14. What is your favorite kind of soup?

Turtle with a splash of sherry - Whatever's being served at the shelter

15. What is your most frequented source of news?

WWL Radio - 2 week old newspapers that you use to wipe your ass

16. What is your beverage (poison) of choice?

Iced Tea - "...you know how I know you're gay?"

17. Have you ever been arrested?

No. - The Phantom Pooper still hasn't been caught

18. What’s your go-to move for making a good first impression?

Get a person talking about her/himself and pray its not over my head. - Try not to get close enough to the person to be smelled

19. How would you describe your coif: bangs, balding or rug?

Thinning - HAHAHAHAHA

20. Is your face clean-shaven or do you have a beard, a goatee or a mustache?

Beard - Translation: I can't afford a razor

21. List your five most cherished possessions.

• House - Cardboard box
• Volvo - Shopping Cart
• Mac - & Cheese
• Camera - Old crayon or feces drawn on walls and sidewalks
• DVD player - "I can't play it, cause I don't have a TV but it sure is pretty and it'll score me a couple crack rocks"

22. What religion, if any, did you practice as a child?

Roman Catholicism - suppressed memories

23. What about now?

Same. - Translation: I do to little boys what was done to me

24. What is your favorite memory?

Surprise trip to Disneyworld even though us kids were told to pack for Gulfport, MS - Finding a quarter on the ground

25. What was your favorite childhood television show?

“Speed Racer” - It was really "My Little Pony"

26. How would you describe your personal style/sense of fashion/taste for life/artistic flair?

personal style – put my stamp on what I do - Translation: I fart wherever I am
sense of fashion – I like color, except the days I prefer black - "OH, woe is me I'm such a DEEP artist type"
taste for life – take time to appreciate whom I’m with, where I am and what I’m doing - Translation: Sit in an alcove yelling at people who don't give me spare change
artistic flair – experimentation and reinvention - Translation: Crap nobody will like and stealing other people's work

27. What is a reason not to go to Burning Man?

I already live in a hot climate. - No transportation, no friends, no car, no water, you're missing a shoe

28. Who is your favorite Sift Hero?

Fedquip - Translation: Rottenseed

29. Do you have any image(s) of yourself online that you're willing to share?

‘Will link shortly. - "uh...er...well you see is, I'm horribly disfigured and I hope everybody will forget about this question"

30. What goal to you have while a Videosift member?

Contribute to the “good of the order.” - Find somebody that'll love me for the stinky, poor, pseudo-artist I am

31. Do you upvote comments more for their originality, sense of humor, or self-deprecation?

I upvote on impulse, PERIOD. - "I can't read."

HAH! I agree that vern fonk perfected it. But now I want to see more ads in the style of! Computer Sales! Matress and Bedroom Sets! Pets!

Everything should have a shipoopi ad!