Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

Wow, this is all so completely unexpected.

[pulls speech from tux]

Thanks KP and everyone for the lovely pictures. I haven’t actually worn a tux since my prom. It had a plum cumberbun and matched my girlfriend’s hand sewn dress. (Theme: Heaven. Theme song: Bryan Adams –Heaven)

That reminds me, A few weeks before the prom we went out and “parked” at Lion’s Park behind the loop road (you know the place) and cops came and shone flashlights on us until we dressed and drove away.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes – the prom. We didn’t rent a limo, I drove my 1984 clapped out Ford Tempo. It was a pretty sweet ride – but looked out of place pulling up into the hotel where the dance was actually held. The valet kind of sneered at me as he took the keys. I don’t remember much about the rest of the night …

All those moments – not that they were great moments - are gone. But at least every single thing I’ve ever said on VideoSift is here forever. (you were wondering how I’d bring it around, right? Bam! Toastmasters, baby!) Outside of my fab family – videosift is my raison d'être, and I vow to you that it will never die. (unless we run out of money)

So thanks to everyone who continues to make this community flourish, grow and feed my enormous ego. Thanks also to my compatriot Lucky and my tolerant family.

Also amusing, this little dig from a food review of the diner:

"My coworker Joe and I chose this restaurant for a special celebratory lunch in honor of all the success we've had in this tough economy. "Hey Joe," I said, "We've been living pretty large since January thanks to all our new friends in the banks and the defense business. I'm worried that the normal folks, you know, all those poor families losing their homes and jobs and such will start realizing that we've sold out on them. So let's do something typical, something normal Americans can relate to in order to distract them from the success we've had at a time when they all are suffering." So we called up our motorcade, just like typical Americans do when they go out to lunch, and headed out to Ray's Hell Burgers, a restaurant featuring the type of burgers typical Americans eat - you know, burgers with foie gras, truffle oil, normal burger toppings. We may have sold out, but our burger run in our limos for some foie gras proves that we're still in touch with the regular guy on the street, doesn't it?"

As much as it's annoying to see the press fawning over the leaders, this was fun.

I love the report from the CSM:

"The Daily Guidance from the White House said “12:30 lunch in Oval Office, closed press.”
But now we know better. By “we,” I mean the White House press corps, where this reporter had pool duty Tuesday.
Those wild and crazy guys at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue summoned the motorcade, and off we went across the Roosevelt Bridge into Arlington, Va., to Ray’s Hell Burger — a joint so new it still doesn’t have a sign up.
Obama and Biden entered through the front door. The press pool — yours truly included — entered through the back. At least Barack and Joe didn’t pull rank and cut the line: The leaders of the free world, all spiffed up in suits and ties, stood patiently with the regular lunch crowd, waiting their turn.
Obama then looked toward the pool and said, “Who’s taking orders here? My treat to the pool.”
...
Some declined, but others didn’t want to seem ungracious, so we ordered burgers. (Note: The five of us who did order are making a donation to charity, in lieu of attempting to reimburse POTUS. Caren noted that Obama has fed the press before, such as during the campaign, when he bought ice cream.)
While Obama and Biden waited in line, the lunch crowd stood and gawked, some took pix with cell phones. The two guys in line ahead of them studied their menus, oblivious to who was behind them.
When Obama and Biden reached the front, Obama greeted the two order-takers. A guy named Tim Murray took Obama’s order.
...
Then Obama took an order for his body guy, Reggie Love, and relayed the press’s order as well.
“These are to go, ‘cuz you guys aren’t gonna have tables.” Then: “We’re paying, or these people [the pool] are gonna write about how we’re free-loading.”
Obama pulled out some bills and paid, putting a $5 bill in the tip jar.
Biden ordered a Swiss cheese burger with jalapeno peppers. Biden paid for his order separately, with cash. He also got some food to go.
Then Obama said to the pool: “You guys are cheap dates. I can’t believe I couldn’t get more of you to order a burger.”
Obama and Biden sat at a table and had their lunch, while the pool waited outside. At 1:05, they emerged. Crowds cheered as Obama stood on the running board of his limo and waved.
Motorcade back at White House at 1:14 pm. Obama and Biden emerged from the same limo. No doubt they were prepping for the next event on their calendar — a closed-press meeting with President Shimon Peres of Israel.
I closed my pool report with: “I’m still waiting for my burger.” But I just heard from the pool minder, Ben Finkenbinder, who says my burger is waiting for me.
Gotta run."

Empahsis mine.

Funny stuff.

Me and Kid Sensation at home away from home
In the black benz limo with tha cellular phone
Im callin up my posse its time to get rippin
Im freakin each sunroof to keep you suckas trippin
Everybody's lookin if ya jealous turn around
The AMG kip keeps us closa to the ground
We're gettin good grip from the 50 series tires
The Alpine's bumpin but I need the volume higher
Cuz the 808 kick drum makes the girlies get dumb
We're rollin Rainier and the jealous wanna get some
Every time we do this sucka mc's wanna battle
I'm the man they love to hate the J.R. Ewing of Seattle
Picked up the posse on 23rd and Jackson
Headin for the strip yes were lookin for some action
The limos kinda crowded the whole car was leanin back
Maharaji's watchin tv with two girlies on his lap
On Martin Luther King the set looks kinda dead
We need a new street so posse move ahead
We all look kinda swass the crew you can't forget
The mix a lot posse cold rippin up the set

Ahhhh rollin in my posse was getin kinda bored
There's not anotha posse with more points scored
We don't walk around like criminals or flex like big gorillas
My homeboy Kid Sensation is a teenage lady killa
Maharaji's on the def side dancin like a freak
The girlies see his booty and their knees get weak
Larry is the white guy people think he's funny
A real estate investa who makes a lot a money
Clockin lots a dollars we all got gold
Cruisin in this Benz and ain't got no place to go
Wheelin' 23rd we saw nuthin but thugs
The girlies was to skinny from smokin all them drugs
Cus the rock man got em and there butts just drop
The freaks look depressed because the Benz wont stop
At 23rd and Union the driver broke left
Kevin shouted Broadway it's time to get def
My girl blew me a kiss she said I was the best
She's lookin mighty feaky in black silk dress
The closa that we get the crazier I feel
My posse's on Broadway it's time to get ill

Crusin Broadway and my wheels spin slow
Rollin with your posse is the only way to go
The girlies by the college was lookin for a ride
We tried to pick em up but we had no room inside
We put em on the trunk we put em on the hood
Some sat up with the driver they made him feel good
The posse's gettin bigger there's much to many freaks
My muffler is draggin my suspensions gettin weak
Now the freaks are gettin hungry in Mix A Lot's treatin'
We stopped at Taco Bell for some Mexican eatin'
But Taco Bell was closed the girls was on my tip
They said go back the other way we'll stop and eat at Dick's
Dick's is the place were the cool hang out
The swass like to play and the rich flaunt clout
Posse to he burger stand so big we walk in twos
Were gettin dirty looks from those other sucka crews
Kid Sensation dropped a 20 and didn't even miss it
this skeezer from another crew she picked it up and kissed it
Her boyfriend's illin he went to slap her face
My homeboy PLD cold sprayed the boy with mace
Cus I never liked a punk who beat up on his girl
If you don't have game then let her leave your world
We took the girl with us
With him she rode the bus
She gave the boy the finger and the sukca starts to cuss
Boy I got a def posse you got a bunch a dudes
Your broke cold crying about the rock man blues
Ya beat up on your girl and now your all upset
She's with the Mix A Lot posse on the Broadway set

>> ^EndAll:
I think as long as membership doesn't go over 9000 it'll be fine.




/nerd

So..does that mean we'll get like an exclusive VIP room for the people who are members now? And like, Membership cards, and a limo driven by sifty with a little hat on? OO and a Mountain Dew fountain in the lobby!

^...and his 2nd child now drives the very same car, while Tom sips champagne in the back of a Limo paid by Pfizer

Clinton's Version:

"One time I was leaving a function and this lady comes right up to the limo. I don't even know why the secret service would let her get up so close to the window. Anyhow, this had to be the ugliest woman I've ever seen. Boy was she ugly."

"HOW UGLY WAS SHE?"

"She was so ugly I wouldn't even let her suck my dick in the Oval Office!"

I'm sick like a sore throat swallow, drunk act to follow
I'll make the whole bottle hollow (what a ride!)
Rollin' wit' a open container, and one in the chamber
Ten Likwit CD's in the changer
Bettin' wages on the Lakers; yo' squad is in danger
Hoes go two ways these days like my pager
Say Hoe, my name is J-Ro, oh, you didn't know? (no)
Well, fuck you then!
I hang with cats, who chase rats, and kick tats
Hit the eightball like Minnesota fats
Got more ? than biceps, relax
Pure hoes jockin' in the studio flats
When I'm in the house, take off the wave cap for hats
Got scully from a hoochie, with lips like Da Brat
Raised in the valley of the shadow of death
So I fear none, time to anty up for the beer run

So all the ladies to the Limo, it's Tha Alkaholik car pool
Lyrics bang from thirty feet to blow y'all niggas off your bar stool
We back, to wet'cha, the flawless, the wallus
Regardless of your colors, Tha Liks are Alkaholiks

We the same three niggas that be makin' the noise
Doin' donuts in Ferraris, like some drunk hot boys

Do or die fool! Straight from the home of where we spark from
Where the weed'll leave ya dizzy like a tranquelizer dart gun
The L, not to be confused with Tinsletown
Well, I made a million dollars off this shit I penciled down
Flashy Tashy, be gunnin' from the worsest alliance
And when I die, I'ma donate all my verses to science
Do the tango, while rappers get strangled by the lone-shark
You be ridin' niggas dick, that's why you never make your own mark
I'm sober and justice, why this is my year
Screamin' "Party over here, fuck y'all over there!"
(Party over here, fuck y'all over there!)

King Tee started it off, and then came Tha Liks
Then Xzibit added hot done proda to the mix
Then Defari, "Hey you!" Comin' through, Likwit Crew
And ? gets the broom, who can sin it?
Who can sin it? Twisted and been it, but if the funk ain't in it
My DJ always submitted to spin it
If I said that I meant it, don't get'cha mouth pin it in ?
We feelin' with a penny, represent it

Aiyyo re-pre-sent, yo', re-si-dence
If it don't say Likwit, then you won't get bent
Aiyyo, dollars and cents, make the world just awkward
Got niggas in the hood, livin' next to their doctor
I'm a rowdy, mic-rocker, since the age of twenty-two
In the video, flossin', like "This could be you"
Likwit Crew, do it up, 'til the wheels fall off
Unlike these other niggas that had it and lost it
We stayed in the game, stayed hot, turned up the flame
[Pharoahe Monch] ("Y'all know the name!")

if the US has come such a long way in terms of racism, how come Barack still had to ride in the back of the limo?

junior year of high school. me in a tux running perpendicular to a 20' stretch limo. similar stunt, half the weight, same result.

They actually have most of these limo's at the Henry Ford museum, my dad and I were fortunate enough to go a few years ago.

That trip was worth it to see the original oscar mayer wiener mobile alone.

IT'S OK! I'm a limo driver!

You know what, this is Joe's audition tape for Fox. I bet he has an agent, a fucking stylist, and a slick right wing whackjob "manager" in an expensive suit.

$100 says that Joe arrived to do this interview in a first class limo payed for by Fox, got an expensive lunch, and got to meet all his new executive Fox friends.

Joe is your actual harmless, ordinary type of guy, who happens to also believe that Obama is the antichrist.

He has been swept up into this whirling, colourful farce of an election campaign, which is for me beginning to resemble a Holywood no-brainer movie with bad jokes and obnoxious costumes. In fact it's the movie Woody Allen would have written had he been diagnosed with terminal cancer.

He'll have a show on Fox next year, where we get to see Joe snorting coke out of Bill O'Reilly's ass crack, whilst being fucked in the ass by Sean Hannity wearing a McCain mask.

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two pathetic-looking men by the side of the road, eating grass. He ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked the men, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have no money for food," the first man replied.


"Then you must come with me to my house," insisted the lawyer.

"But, sir, I got a wife and three kids here," said the man.

"Bring them along!" replied the lawyer.

The second man exclaimed, "I got a wife and six kids!"

"Bring them as well!", the lawyer proclaimed as he headed back to his limo.

They all climbed into the car, and once underway, one of the men expresses, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "I'm most happy to do it. You'll love my place. The grass is almost a foot tall."

Sorry if that is the oldest joke ever, they don't let me out.

Sounds like NY / NJ tristate area. Those limo drivers, man. Anytime, any place you wanna go. Including jail.