I have a complaint to register here, gentlemen, about a CERTAIN LACK of recognition for the single greatest accomplishment of mankind since the invention of language; the very reason carbon self-assembled; the reason a tiny speck of nothing exploded into a universe simply waiting for that golden moment on March 4 2016 when the fruition of all that is good and hopeful in the human -- nay, UNIVERSAL -- race was unveiled! How soon they forget! How soon do they receive their salvation than they turn their backs on it, forgetting the hypernova of joy and laughter that burst upon the world on that Day of Days! Such woe to thee, oh Babylon, for turning your back on the 1 hour and 48 minutes that banished all doubt of man's reason for existence! DAMNATION ON TO YOU WHO HAVE FORGOTTEN THE GREATNESS YOU SHOULD FALL TO YOUR KNEES AND BLIND YOURSELF LEST TO SEEK TO BEHOLD SOMETHING GREATER! ALL HELL AND TORMENT! ALL EVIL AND VILENESS FOR THOSE HORRID, HORRID SOULS WHO HAVE LEFT THIS SO-CALLED "VIDEO" INCOMPLETE! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!

Look, I just like Zootopia a lot, alright?

DON'T JUDGE ME, YOU BASTARDS!

I have a friend who is a Beavis-and-Butthead level pyro. He loves blowing things up, and he feels that little things like forewarning may spoil the surprise. He has many claims to fame, but this is among the most notorious:

In the mid-90s, at the place we've been camping for 30+ years, he poured an entire can of Red Dot Smokeless gunpowder down an anthill, then lit it. This was cool for all of about three seconds when it hissed and sputtered like a little volcano. It was far less cool when the gunpowder-packed anthill suddenly went off like Mt. St. Helens. Dirt and REALLY fucking pissed off biting ants blasted high in the air before raining down on the heads of the unwitting spectators, and promptly taking their revenge.

There's nothing quite like being showered with burned, angry biting ants to round out a weekend. Jeff thought this was funny as Hell, because he'd scampered out of range when he realized things were going to go very wrong -- things ALWAYS went very wrong -- and had taken shelter upwind. Later, as in 4:00am the next morning, he set off a stick of dynamite in a creek for an encore, also without warning. And after the booming echoes settled down, the only sound for miles around was this maniacal, hysterical laughter echoing in the impenetrable dark.

To this day, if he starts laughing, I RUN.

My condolences on your loss(es), Ant.

That looks.... uneventful. But did I hear laughter at the end?

"Laughter is the best medicine"

Henri de Mondeville

Oh yeah, libel per se is a -bitch- if you're nailed with it. In libel per quod ("lost-cause libel"), you have to prove damages. Generally, this is what prevents people from filing lawsuits every time someone calls them a dick on 4chan.

Libel per se is different. Oh, it is SO different. Libel per se means y'all fucked up. Y'all fucked up BAD. In LPS, what you printed was such bullshit and so obviously damaging, the plaintiff don't have to prove SHIT; they sort-of name a figure and the judge works from that.

In the case of Dominion, I'm 99% certain it'll be LPS. Also, the Gold Standard defense against libel -- what you printed is actually true -- will not apply here, and it'd be comedy gold if the defendants actually tried this defense. At that point, the three fastest winds ever recorded on the planet would be Typhoon Li, Hurricane Katrina and the explosive laughter and legal pimp slap from the bench. It'd make Rudy's immense clusterfucks in court seem like goddamn Perry Mason cross-examining a 6-year-old.

It gets better.

So, on the billion-to-one chance you win a libel per quod suit, you get "damages", which can be surprisingly little as you have to prove every single dollar in very narrow legal ways. Libel per se, on the other hand, is the BIG PRIZES. Your ass is at least catching dollar damages that would make Jerome Powell say "Y'all niggas need to tone them digits down, yo!". Those damages are ANYTHING THE COURT DECIDES. Again, LPS means the plaintiff doesn't have to prove a single dime of loss to claim damages of damned near any amount. Given that Dominion is asking for a cool bil-point-something, I wouldn't be hugely surprised if another zero wasn't slapped on the end of that figure.

That's just the "actual" damages. If you egregiously fucked up, like claiming a company overthrew a US election and was in league with a dead dictator, you get to spin the wheel of punitive damages. Punitive damages are how the court hands out spankings, only they're not spankings, they're that scene from 12 Years A Slave, only with less tickles and kittens. Given the shitstorm that followed the lies about Dominion, those damages could make the initial billion-dollar claim look quaint.

(By the way, you can't discharge the settlement in bankruptcy, given that libel per se is considered 'malicious', meaning the laughter from the judge presiding over your initial case will be roughly 1/10,000th the laughter coming from the bankruptcy judge.)

If I was Newsmax, OAN, Fox News, Rush or Alex, I'd be lawyering up but good, because the Wrath of Fucking God is coming and there ain't no rock big enough to hide behind.

Couldn't happen to a nicer group of traitorous, America-hating, back-stabbing cocksuckers (and good luck to them on their per quod claim should they decide to sue me over the previous statement).

Laughter as a weapon. So sly. You win this time Joker.

"Shakes Laughter Loose"

Like it was all bound up and stuck. LOL

*Promote laughter

And that's how you deal with agressive mental detectives, laughter and derision.

If that wasn't added in, then it must have been pretty damned loud to be audible to the camera over the music. Can only imagine how much that must've hurt.

But for me, it was the anguished noise he made while trying to get back in the car that compelled audible laughter.

He is a craftsman. His setup and delivery are perfect. (not that i am an expert) You can never tell or guess where he's going to drop you off. All of his jokes are built sturdy so as to hold your attention and then he pulls the lever to the trap door where he meticulously placed you and you fall into the pit of laughter. A genuine craftsman.

O'Fortuna was the icing on the cake! The Cake of Guilt-Inducing Hysterical Laughter.

Trust...but verify. Regan got one thing right. I'm not a liar, but I'm certainly not always right either.

They've never met, he was lying.

Fact?....ok, no, prediction. She's a little girl, so it's a near certainty she's going to be trouble in 10 years under any circumstances, but more so if she's a practiced liar.
But, her dad is rewarding the lying with extra attention and laughter. Assuming that's normal for them, he's teaching her to lie, not teaching her to be truthful. At the very least, that degrades his ability to reasonably complain when the lies get serious....She's only doing what he taught her after all.

You're right: it doesn't achieve much because it doesn't go far enough. These people should be openly mocked, ridiculed and humiliated. Every time they open their stupid mouths, someone with a bullhorn should shriek, "That's interesting, BUT YOU'RE A FUCKING MOUTH-BREATHING, BOTTOM-FEEDING, DRIBBLING, DROOLING MORON!" three inches from their cow-like faces. They should get anonymous phone calls at 3:00am, "IDIOT, it's GET-A-FUCKING-EDUCATION-O'-CLOCK!". Gales of derisive laughter should greet their every utterance until they're so phobic of speaking again that they finally just shut the fuck up.

Maybe then, when the concept of "being ashamed of being stupid" is thoroughly drilled into their putty-like brain, we can be done with this anti-vaccine bullshit.