The first five seconds of that are all you need!

I seriously hope there's "court packing" next year. It's the only way to bring things back to any semblance of normalcy if Judge Amy McCultPants is installed.

Or just use a shortcut. 35 x 12 = 70 x 6 = 42 x 10 = 420.
Took me five seconds in my head.

@ChaosEngine
that article was utter shit.

"friend zone" is a term used to shame women?
how can that possibly be considered an even remotely true statement?

she makes a valid point in that women are not binary creatures,and are mutli-faceted,nuanced and complex.well of COURSE they are,but the "friend zone" is from the guys perspective,not a woman's!

do you know why the majority of some men end up in the "friend zone"? or should we just change that term to be more accurate "i am not interested in you because you put all your cards on the table in the first five seconds,so while i think that is sweet,i no longer am curious about you,because i already got you".

you know..the "friend zone",or as chris rock put it "emergency dick,just break glass".

the problem here is that while relationships are a long slog of compromise,negotiation and mutual respect to work towards a common goal.romantic courtships are akin to a game,a playful dance fueled by curiosity,intrigue and of course:lust.

the men who who get relegated to the "friend zone" do not understand this very basic tenant of courtship.they reveal all their cards up front,and while that may be the most honest approach,and one that women have been openly asking for,it ignores that underneath it all,a woman wants romance,mystery and a sense of discovery that will continually peak their interests.

they want to be woo'd,they want courtship and romance.
when a man shows all his cards he takes that way from the woman,and now that she knows she can "have" him.he no longer interests her.

and what the author of this article so callously ignores is that the "friend zone" is not really a friend at all,but a surrogate for a boyfriend.having a bad day?she calls her "friend".feeling bloated and unattractive? has her "friend" come over to make her feel better about herself.needs a date for her company christmas party and doesn't want to go alone? get her "friend" to come along.

so it should not be a surprise that some men find this hurtful and degrading.

but she has a point,the woman owes them nothing.the woman was honest and forthright and it is the man who has put himself in this position.

and let me be clear before i am accused of being a misogynist pig.

some men do the exact same thing,and i am guilty of it myself.

i grew up with three sisters,so i tend to be more aware and sensitive to women's choices,and i respect their space.i have never been one to push myself on any woman.i was never the one to pursue or as this article describes "persistent",because i saw that as a bit "stalky".

so if i was interested in a woman,and that interest was not reciprocated,i shifted to "friend" mode with no issue.to me it was a win-win.ok,so she was not interested in me in that way,but she is super cool,and interesting and now i have a really interesting and intriguing friend.

now here is an interesting thing that happened maybe half of the time.my new friend and i would hang out,go to pubs,clubs,movies and sometimes just make dinner and watch movies.friends right? she was upfront and honest with me that she was not interested in me in that way,and i can respect that.

and then one day she would have her college friend over for dinner (this is a true story btw,one of many).her friend was cute,smart,witty and had a sick sense of humor.yep,i was digging on my friends college friend,and we were flirting up a storm.we were vibing hard,clicking like we knew each other for years.

now what do you think happened?
i bet you can guess.
and you would be right.
my friend,who was honest with me about not being interested,started to get real shitty with me.like offensive shitty and i really did not understand why.it came out of nowhere,and now she was acting like some jealous girlfriend.

so i pull her aside and i am like..what the fuck is wrong with you? you are being an asshole!

you know what she said to me? and i can remember this clear as day "watching my friend flirt with you,and seeing how much she is into you.i began to see you in a different light.i can see how she sees you,and that you are amazing but you are MY steve! not hers!".

and then she tried to kiss me,which was just awkward,because to me? she was in the "friend zone",and had been for over 6 months.i didn't want her that way.the irony here is that she could not handle that,and our friendship dissolved.which just fucking sucks.

this scenario has played out in my life quite a few times.so while anecdotal,i suspect women have had similar experiences.

so the "friend zone' may be considered a woman's thing directed at men,but in reality it is non-gender specific.most likely because woman are pursued more than men,but both men and women can be put in the "friend zone".

so what can we learn from this?
don't be a sap.
have some self respect and do not allow another person to use you for their own well being and sense of self.
if they are not interested? move on.
if they just want to be a friend? then be a friend,but do not expect anything more.if you cannot handle that,then move on.

pining away from a distance in the slim hopes that the focus of your affections will one day change their mind,is just pathetic.

and for fuck sakes,stop blaming that person for your heartache.
you put yourself in that position,and you can pull yourself out.

and the term "friend zone" is not used to shame women,that is just fucking stupid.the "friend zone" is a place that you put yourself in,because of flawed sense of romance,and you allowed yourself to be used for the betterment of another human being.so while you may be hurt and angry,you only have yourself to blame.

respect yourself yo.
/end rant

How are these rules created, and why are people always surprised by them? I imagine there's an argument made around margin of error, and then where the line should be is lobbied for. Is the "under five equals zero" rule reasonable or shady?

I feel like I'm arguing for the five second rule.

The simple point is that you are not superior. You have made a lifestyle choice because you wanted to. You have no solid scientific evidence that food animals are fully sentient. Both dogs and pigs routinely fail self-awareness tests, they may be intelligent and able to learn, but they ARE NOT PEOPLE. Vegans want us to believe that eating a pig is tantamount to eating a 3 year old baby, and simply isn't. You are certainly welcome to your opinion on the subject, but that is all.

Now to address your issue with how people treat vegans. I know that I have never went out of my way to lambaste a vegan for choosing to be vegan. I will, and have, severely castigate vegans who start telling me that they are superior to other people because they choose to not eat meat. How can you not see that having the attitude that you are better than someone else because of your choices is not the same manner of thinking that leads to church people condemning people for not following their ethos?

So, let me ask you, how many people have given you shit for being vegan out of the blue? For instance, you were minding your own business and eating a salad, then a person jumped in your face and said "How dare you eat that salad next to me?" I'm willing to bet you might have gotten some gentle ribbing if you went to a friend's barbecue and asked for a vegan option, but I doubt anyone got in your face about it. On the other hand, I have absolutely had more than one vegan get in my face and tell me that I am a murderer and a beast because I ate a hamburger at a desk across from them or sat down at a table with some brisket without making sure it wasn't a 'meat-free' zone.

The sheer chutzpah that most vegans have towards non-vegans is what makes them a target for ridicule. I get it, you think you are better than us, but we wouldn't care if you didn't feel the need to trot it out every five seconds.

The final five seconds each were YUGE.

Fuck you if you love a car for its paint job
Love you if you love a car for the road trips
Show me the miles and your arms and the pink scar
Where the doctor had to pull out all the bone chips
Cuz you were pressing on the gas just a bit hard
Right in the moment where the road curved a bit sharp
And when you woke up, somebody was unclipping your seat belt
and pulling you from the open window of your flipped car

Cold pizza
Tie-dye shirts
Broken hearts
Give'm here, give'm here
Hand me downs
Give me give me leftovers
Give me give me sloppy seconds
Give em here, give em here

I don't care where you've been
How many miles, I still love you [x2]

Show me someone who says they got no baggage
I'll show you somebody whose got no story
Nothing gory means no glory, but baby please don't bore me
We won't know until we get there
The who, or the what, or the when where
My favorite sweater was a present that I got a couple presidents ago
And I promised that I would rock it till it's thread bare
Bet on it
Every single person got a couple skeletons
So pretty soon, in this room
It'll just be me and you when we clear out all the elephants
Me and you and the elements

We all have our pitfalls
Beer's flat, the cabs have been called
And everybody and their momma can hear the drama
that's happening behind these thin walls

Cold pizza
Tie-dye shirts (tie-dye shirts)
Broken hearts
Give'm here, give'm here
Hand me downs (hand me downs)
Leftovers (leftovers)
Sloppy seconds
Give'm here, give'm here

I don't care where you've been
How many miles, I still love you (2x)

I don't care (cold pizza)
Where you've been (tie-dye shirts)
How many (broken hearts) miles, I still love you
I don't care (hand me downs)
Where you've been (left overs)
How many (sloppy seconds) miles, I still love you

My pattern with women isn't a flattering image
But I don't want to run away because I said so
I don't want to be the guy to hide all of my flaws
And I'll be giving you the side of me that I don't let show
Everything in fashion
That has ever happened
Always coming crashing down
Better let go
But in a couple years it will be retro
You rock Marc Ecko
My shirts have the gecko
Cuz in the past man, I was hopeless
But now's when my little cousins look the dopest
(whoop whoop)
Fuck the fashion po-po
Have a stale doughnut, I don't need no tips
Fuck a five second rule
That's a plan I never understood
It's September in my kitchen in a Christmas sweater
Sipping cold coffee on the phone with damaged goods

And there is not a single place that I would rather be
I'm fucked up just like you are, and you're fucked up just like me

Cold pizza (cold pizza)
Tie-dye shirts (tie-dye shirts)
Broken hearts
Give'm here, Give'm here
Hand me downs (oh hand me downs)
Give me give me leftovers (leftovers)
Give me give me sloppy seconds
Give'm here give'm here

I don't care where you've been
How many miles, I still love you [x2]

I don't care (cold pizza)
Where you've been (tie-dye shirts)
How many (broken hearts) miles, I still love you
I don't care (hand me downs)
Where you've been (left overs)
How many (sloppy seconds) miles, I still love you

I love the five second gap between the "release" and the cheering.

oh crap.. it plays twice.. what did I do then skip ahead ??


Kinda feel like a dick now for the dv, I thought it was 20 seconds of st upid cat then five seconds wow cat face.

"That depends on who you ask...witnesses..." Really... Yeah, the same shit is argued by "witnesses" for the CIA that argue the CIA does not "torture" people. THAT ARGUMENT in general is utterly asinine. A group of people, many who contradicted each other in the heat of the moment want to portray the outsider as a bad guy...it doesn't help that most of them are low intelligence. Imagine if it had all been white police officers who were the "witnesses", you sure as hell would not side with them. You would say they lie, or defend one another...

Additionally, even if not intentionally, I know that mistaken identity has screwed so many innocent people because in a crisis situation your cognitive functions all but lie to you. You just don't remember things very clearly--even if you are unbiased.

So what do you do? Fault imperfect humans in an imperfect situation? No, you look at the physical evidence. Did the bullet enter the top of his head? Well then he was under the officer and people underneath someone usually try to take someone to the ground, etc. The DA threw the cases away...um, no...the Grand Jury did...the DA has considerable sway there, yes, but then so does public perception...

As a sidebar I should add that in proper uses of force, not Garner's particular situation at all, the more officers on a subject the better. This prevents injury by immobilizing someone. The more someone moves the more force that eventually has to be used. That is the principle behind the tazer. Yeah, I could rip you off the car door you grab on to resist arrest, or I could taze you. Potentially rip your arm out of its socket, or shock you for five seconds...same with three or four people grabbing you to gain compliance. Same reason handcuffs are applied.

SFOGuys' gottit-That's why the extra space at the balloon never changes-I used to do this but just compress the thing into my mouth as the other end took up the slack-Sometimes it would POP!

Another cool trick I used to do when I sold balloons(I can blow up one of these and tie it off in under five seconds) was to blow one up for a kid begging me for a free one then break it in half holding the air in both sides then offer it, and let it go when they went to grab it-The two ends go sailing-off in random directions with a "Whheeeeeeeeent!"..kids would either be devastated or ask me to do it again and again

"You have been chewing for five seconds"

Thanks Tips!

In the LiveLeak comments for this, autowolf says:

sleds tend to have lower top speed numbers compared to say sports bikes etc because spinning that track requires an incredible amount of effort. That snowmobile might be making 300 or so hp but its top speed probably wont be much over 130. The thing is it will get to 120 in about five seconds. A really built out race sled will have a power to weight ratio similar to a formula 1 car. most stock snowmobiles will have one equal to about half that of a formula one car. an average weight sled with a 150 or so hp engine will be sitting at around 500 HP per ton

The Top 20 5 Second Films Part 2 has been added as a related post - related requested by ant.

The Top 20 Five-Second Films has been added as a related post - related requested by ant.