@StukaFox, funnily enough today I was thinking of a joke I used to tell back in the day. I couldn't find just now in a 2 minute search making it less likely you've heard it before, so I'll write out a quick version. It's not the funniest or the dirtiest, but it's fun to tell.

So a guy's looking to kill himself and fortuitously comes across a sign saying 'for an interesting death enquire within.' This being a joke he decides he has to give it a go.

Inside is an absolutely huuuuge naked woman. She first instructs him to put his belt on her. He struggles, but eventually manages. "Now," she says "pull it tighter until I'm thin." With every ounce of strength and leverage he can muster he gets the belt to the last notch. Struggling for breath she says "Now eat my pussy". He's starting to suspect a scam, but he goes for it anyway. "Harder!" she gasps, grinding against him. He pushes back against her as hard as he can. "harder! HARDER!" He's pushing so hard he's struggling to breathe. He suspects she's just trying to smother him with her pussy when he feels her starting to orgasm. He pushes harder still. Her muscles tense and pulse until suddenly the belt can't take it any more - POP! Ssccchhhhlllup! And he was never seen again.

----

Bonus clean joke I saw when I searched for the one above: Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight unless you're prepared to face the reaper cushions.

That truck is still recognizable. This surprises me. Looks like it only rear-ended a Tesla. (watching crash videos shows me Teslas are apparently the emergency-stop cushion of choice)

yup, and no good cushioning. Guaranteed that shit will be donated to Value Village and a random stoner will buy it for a dollar to put on the antenna of their 2008 Saturn

Well... there is that little bit about him killing children and breaking up families.

And if you wish to hide behind "The parents are at fault" I understand. That's how you protect yourself from the horror. Or you can always blame Trump as a cushion.

BTW, I don't believe you are a sore loser or a hypocritical liar. Just angry. I think you can relate to Trump and his anger. What you don't know is what it's doing to you.

We knew Trump was coming.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ei_2wS0U-w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLmuF-0P4tk

A ring, found in the couch cushion of the universe.

If one of their stretch goals is to make deflation sound like a huge whoopie cushion, take my money.

A guy I went to school with was one of the survivors of the Cave Creek tragedy in the 90's (also in NZ) which had 14 deaths. It apparently was an issue of a poorly constructed platform, and the students shaking the platform.

Four people survived the fall of about 30m, I heard one of them was able to use their partner as a 'taboggan' pretty much, which cushioned their descent, allowing them to survive. The ultimate sacrifice. Pretty horrifying stuff, you wouldn't be the same person after.

Neat!
How can that guy resist jumping on and sliding down the ramp on a cushion of plastic balls?!

I took judo for like, 2 hours, so I'm like an expert on cushioning falls, but I've done this landing -from about that high- both forwards and backwards and it's 20x less painful on your back.

You have to be going quite a bit faster than a 12-14 ft drop before the "like hitting concrete" effect starts to factor in. The horizontal speed she has helps too. The force isn't straight down but on an angle.

I will agree she probably had the breath knocked out of her.

One swipe of a paw could fix that whoopee cushion but good. Of course the resulting blast of air would probably also put kitty through a wall.

I'm guessing purely from a forces standpoint that if you were stood up, you'd be a lot more likely to survive than if you were lying down, like the video says. Mainly because your internal organs and brain are about to be decelerating, and you want to minimise the deceleration as much as possible. Your extremities might get pulverised, but without the organs they're not much use anyway.

There's some historic example about a 1945 bomber crashing into the Empire State Building, severing the ropes and inducing free-fall, but the lift's ropes coiled up and cushioned the occupant's fall and they lived. I just looked it up, and apparently only several times has free fall ever happened, only killing one person. But apparently people die from falling in the shafts, mechanics caught in machinery and strangulation from scarves caught in doors.

"Burning behind me is eight and a half tonnes of heroin, opium, hashish and other narcotics which have been stolen from their rightful owners and destroyed in an act of vandalism so tremendous it amounts to a crime against humanity.

In this much larger pyre lie the smouldering corpses of those responsible. After witnessing the execution of their spouses and children, their skin was carefully flayed from their bodies, their eyes and genitals were removed and their bones were slowly ground into powder."

(Cut to footage of thousands of terrified people being herded toward a gigantic concrete pit. Bulldozers force them over the edge as the narration continues:)

"Those who enter first die quickly. Eventually their bodies cushion the fall of those behind, who are suffocated and crushed in their turn by the weight of ever more flesh."

(Cut to the pit being capped and sealed, the cries of those still alive inside are abruptly silenced. Zoom out to reveal dozens more exactly alike beside it; further to show the vast complex of huts and barbed wire fences, train lines and guard towers built to accommodate the multitude who pour in every day.)

"Each pit has a capacity of one million. There are sixty here and this is the correction centre of just one minor country. Thousands more are under construction worldwide."

Maybe he got so high he saw a better world. Of course he couldn't stop giggling.