(Intro)
Okay y’all. One thousand words in two minutes
Let’s do this
Yo...
(Verse 1)
In a couple minutes I'ma have to kill it
All the haters that just sit up on the web
But they will say that they don't feel it
But I'm never gonna listen to these idiots who dumb as fuck
I'll punch 'em and I'll kick 'em and I'll hit 'em with an uppercut
They told me that I got a record that I gotta break it
Get your woman naked in the garden she’ll be talking stank
I’ll fill my lungs up full of air and bust you till I hyperventilate
A thousand words, a hundred twenty seconds imma get it straight
I'ma grab the mothafuckin' sun and take a bite of it
I see a rapper try to say he sick but he a vitamin
You know that Mr Mac up on the track like it's a Viking ship
I rip the fucking beat up in to bits when I go psycho quick
All the ladies in the world is like "I love you, Mac"
I fry their brain up in your fuckin' noggin' when I bust a rap
I find a beat I really wanna kill and then I do
And all the mumble rappers in the game are dumb and sounding stupid
I’m an artist with a plan and stacking money in the videos
If that shit is a gimmick, tell the truth I wanna spit it slow
You don’t like the way that I be rappin’ fuckin’ sue me
I’ma get up on the stage and whip it out, just call me Louis
I’ma kill the crew but danny Mac is lethal with the skill
I am the king, I order you to have a pizza every meal
You acting cheesy like a bag of Doritos
I swear to god I’ll tape your mouth shut and throw you in the back of a vehicle
I’m a missile with the flow, I’m like a rapid torpedo
I got a gun up in my hand the size of Danny Devito
But now you sinkin’ like the fuckin’ Titanic
If anybody want a piece of this I’m thinner skinned and having to plan
Now listen to me, I don’t give a fuck about the shit that rappers meant
The world of fuckin’ choppin’
There’s a hundred million chapters baby
I could probably squat a fuckin’ elephant for fifty reps
I need to breathe a little bit of air right now and get my breath
I climb right up the wall like I’m a ninja with a weapon
I’m an angel and I’m evil pulling bitches up in heaven
Everybody call me Lethal, I’ve been rapping twenty years
And walk on water like I’m Jesus only rappin for the cheers before
I get up in the ring and fight a rapper I'm a black belt
And my hands on broken glass so I can leave the fucker battered
I’ma hit them with a bat right in the head until they dead
And make him take back all the dumb and stupid words he ever said
Let me take a breath so I can get back on the drums again
And sneak up on you like I’m the Phantom of the Opera
With a mask over my face but my teeth under your throat
And then I’m drinkin’ every droplet of your motherfucking blood, my friend
I’m just a product of Peter, the clip will pop in the heater
I got the spots of a cheeta
So when the gotta da vida
You better walk away
I’m rapping like a lunatic up on the mic and post it up on YouTube for the stupid chips
(Where’d you go?!)
(Verse 2)
So let me take another breath, I’m lookin’ hella dope
And I’ve been poppin’ since I made the pancakes cook up on the stove
And all you rappers up on YouTube had to treat me like the pope
‘Cause I’m the fuckin’ original
And you’re just huffing the chemicals and you’re just suckin’ like tentacles
Anybody this lyrical better just know I’m coming with the illest flow ever
Tryna kick that bull shit, you get your toes severed
Flames comin’ out my lungs you know I’m crushin’ every drum that ever popped up in the war path
Burning everything that I can see or smell or hear
That starts a fire in the sky and that’s the mother fucking forecast
People wanna say “Mac just raps fast. Really, he ain’t sayin’ shit”
You just mad ‘cause you can’t speak alien
Let’s do it
Gotta spit a lot of fuckin’ words in just a little time
I’m about to put a bomb inside your soul so I can blow your mind
I make it look so easy everybody wanna try it
But your lungs will probably suffocate and then you’ll end up dying
I’ma take a sword and cut my fuckin’ capillaries open
Lava coming out my mouth and all my raps are fuckin’ smokin’
Anybody wanna try to play the game with Mac is losin’
I be comin’ like a wolverine and show my teeth and chew ‘em
I’ma bite a silly rapper on the throat until he bleedin’
I’ll be taking every dollar out your pocket, now we even
I’ll be taking every crumb right off your plate, that’s how I’m eating
What the fuck you gonna do? I‘ll crack your soul and then I reach in
I’m the best that ever did this, other raps, they’re not a match for me
You gotta know that I can drop a line so hard it cracks a tree
I poke you in the eyeball with a microbe
Now you have to see that when I rap I don’t have to breathe

Oh shit! Two minutes and three seconds!
Well that was one thousand and thirty words
New world fuckin’ record! Yeah!
Oh shit... new world record

*ban Kambiz has a Black Belt in Shinzen Karate (from Amazon bio). This is either self post or spam

1. I hate writing lists like this.
2. but only because I'm afraid I don't have enough cool stuff to put on them
3. I swear.. a lot, but I get away with it... in person, because I'm Irish, and in writing, because I'm an eloquent motherfucker
4. When I was a kid, I really wanted to be a space shuttle pilot. My entire room was covered in space posters, until I was eventually convinced this wouldn't happen in my early teens (kinda hard to be a shuttle pilot when you live in a country with no space program or even an airforce).... at which point....
5. I started listening to heavy metal and for years I wanted to be a touring musician. Played in a few bands, even recorded some stuff, but I was never really that good, but I did teach my brother to start playing
6.... who is now waaaay better than I ever was, has a degree in music and releases some of my favourite music.
7. I am by a long way the most level-headed member of my family.
8. I like to think I'm resourceful (read as "watched one too many episodes of macgyver as a kid") and set myself little challenges all the time (like trying to break into my own house)
9. I've been arrested once and spent a night in a cell
10. I love the mountains (snowboarding, mountain biking) but didn't realise this until my late 20s. It's one of my great regrets that I didn't start these things sooner.
11. I'm a 3rd dan (soon to be 4th!) black belt in Aikido, but....
12. I haven't been in a fight since high school.
13. A small immature part of me really wants someone to attack me so I can find out.
14. The rest of me isn't nearly that stupid.
15. I love to cook (especially BBQ), and will happily spend all day preparing a meal for my wife or my friends.
16. I don't have or want kids, but I get on great with them (I suspect they think I roughly as mature as they are).
17. I teach a kids Aikido class.
18. I'm very good at my job, but it's just a means to an end for me. If I never needed to work again, I wouldn't.
19. No-one will read this far.
20. I think people are basically good, but they're also stupid and easily manipulated... this goes for me too.
21. I really want to travel again, but life keeps getting in the way.
22. I'm a total geek.
23. I like to look at everything from all angles, but there are somethings I have no time for (homepathy, racism, homophobia, climate deniers, etc). I don't believe in debating these people.
24. I sometimes wonder if I should put my money where my mouth is and run for public office, but then I remember that that would seriously cut into my snowboarding/mountainbiking/aikido-ing time.
25. I am very tempted to delete this list.

Dude...Really?!? Then you need to get a grip and a sense of humor, AND go to anger management classes if something fun, cute, and hilarious like this costing you...what...3 seconds of your precious day is going to prompt you to violence. I mean...DAMN! What if it's a black belt bovine? (hope hope hope hope)
Stay the fuck out of my grocery store then....please. I don't want to have to knock all your teeth out for punching old women who (also) slow you down. ;-)

Hey is this serious(black belts sparring)? It sure does look like a huge goof. http://youtu.be/NMiNFh1Rk4s

*backup=[...snipped...]


Her name is Yoshimi
she's a black belt in karate
working for the city
she has to discipline her body

'Cause she knows that
it's demanding
to defeat those evil machines
I know she can beat them

Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me

Those evil-natured robots
they're programmed to destroy us
she's gotta be strong to fight them
so she's taking lots of vitamins

'Cause she knows that
it'd be tragic
if those evil robots win
I know she can beat them

Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me

Yoshimi

'Cause she knows that
it'd be tragic
if those evil robots win
I know she can beat them

Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me

Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me

Yoshimi

Yeah, that whole guy who looks / nods down is the beta dude. It's crap. All these pickup artist sites promote that myth. Years ago, at my dojo we had a sixty-something black belt -- forget his dan but it was waay up there -- visit our club from Japan. Dude was amazingly fast and fit.
At one point, during the day's workshop we locked eyes and he bowed ever so slightly. But he never broke eye contact with me. There was no doubt as to who was the alpha male -- and it weren't me.

>> ^TheFreak:

I'm a 4th degree black belt and an instructor. My best technique in this situation is "abandon your ego". Apologize, bargain, beg or buy your way out of the situation. If that fails, run. Final option, fight.
If those options offend you then you're watching too many action movies or you're young and stupid.


This is just brilliant. It's funny to think of all the people who can break a bat on their shin, or take a KO punch and stay standing, who will never have the ability to "abandon the ego" for even one second. But what's really funny is that this is what smart people do instinctively when confronted with a situation like this, even if they always thought they would do something completely different.

This video confirms what I already suspected.

Back in high school me and a bunch of other students who got high enough PSAT scores got invited to go down to the Naval Academy in Annapolis to experience a weekend orientation of the academy. I bunked with a guy from Texas who was a black belt in karate. At the time I was really into Tae Kwon Do and we got to talking about martial arts in general. One of the other guys in our room asked us how to deal with an attacker with a knife and the karate guy without pause answers, "Run."

Everyone laughed until he lifted up his shirt and showed us this ugly red scar that goes from one side of his belly to the other. Apparently, some guy had talked trash to him out on the street one day and instead of walking away he faced off against the guy. The knife came out so fast he said he never saw it coming. He got hella lucky in that the slash wasn't deep enough to hit his internal organs and that the other dude just took off running after getting the one hit in, but he was still bleeding everywhere. Some other people nearby called an ambulance and got the kid to the hospital.

Years later, my brother and I got into mixed-martial arts and used to practice defending against knife attacks. We'd wear cheap white clothing and used red markers to simulate the knife. What we learned really quickly is that even if you successfully disarmed the simulated attacker, when you looked down you had probably been cut in at least 3 different places during the attempt.

So I agree with everything in this video. Someone comes at you with a knife, you're not necessarily fucked but you need to accept that in all likelihood you're going to get cut... and that even if you succeed in incapacitating the attacker there's still a good chance you'll bleed out from the cuts you took in the process before medical attention arrives.

I'm a 4th degree black belt and an instructor. My best technique in this situation is "abandon your ego". Apologize, bargain, beg or buy your way out of the situation. If that fails, run. Final option, fight.

If those options offend you then you're watching too many action movies or you're young and stupid.

>> ^MichaelL:

Gulf War vet with two black belts?
Hmmm...
Tactically, you don't keep your hands down by your waist when an agitated aggressor is nose to nose with you. Had the thug swung first he would have tagged the homeowner. Within a couple of feet of each other, the first person to swing will catch the other -- it's not possible to see the attack and react within the fraction of a second you have to defend yourself.


Nah he's fine.

Gulf War vet with two black belts?
Hmmm...
Tactically, you don't keep your hands down by your waist when an agitated aggressor is nose to nose with you. Had the thug swung first he would have tagged the homeowner. Within a couple of feet of each other, the first person to swing will catch the other -- it's not possible to see the attack and react within the fraction of a second you have to defend yourself.

I watched it all. Could Larry be any more giddy about how right he thinks he is?
They seem to cover every erroneous argument ever made against atheism in a record amount of time. These guys have a black belt in ignorance.

>> ^xxovercastxx:

>> ^TheFreak:
Don't know what's been happening with tae kwon do in the past decade. It's developed this strange focus on ineffective spinning-jumping kicks. More like gymnastics than martial arts.
Government interference is what happened.
First they pressured the separate kwons to unify in an attempt to form one universal Korean martial art. This is what created TKD (in name, at least). Then they sought ways to make it a symbol of the country, to give the Korean people something to be proud of. Ultimately this culminated in an effort to introduce it to the Olympics. In order to accomplish this, they had to turn it into a sport. The military style of TKD still exists but, aside from the actual military, it's hard to find anywhere that teaches it inside Korea.
I have a friend who is from South Korea. He was adopted and brought to the US when he was still a baby. He's a TKD black belt. He's taken trips back to Korea and he's sparred with people who have learned TKD there and they are all horrible because they've been taught to dance rather than fight.
The only fighting they know is point fighting so they do not learn to defend and they do not learn how to generate power. They are incredibly fast but, in a real fight, he had no doubts that they would pose little to no threat unless he was greatly outnumbered.


Interesting, I was unaware of most of that.

I was talking to one of my older Aikido students last night who's been teaching TKD for a long time. I'd judge his style as very martial and effective based on the punches and kicks he was using while we compared notes. We were discussing how the tai sabaki from Aikido has influenced his TKD and I asked him about the change in TKD. He brushed it off and pointed out how he teaches both point fighting and martial effectiveness and distinguishes between the two to his students. His only thoughts on the current state of some TKD was that it was a passing fad.

>> ^TheFreak:

Don't know what's been happening with tae kwon do in the past decade. It's developed this strange focus on ineffective spinning-jumping kicks. More like gymnastics than martial arts.

Government interference is what happened.

First they pressured the separate kwons to unify in an attempt to form one universal Korean martial art. This is what created TKD (in name, at least). Then they sought ways to make it a symbol of the country, to give the Korean people something to be proud of. Ultimately this culminated in an effort to introduce it to the Olympics. In order to accomplish this, they had to turn it into a sport. The military style of TKD still exists but, aside from the actual military, it's hard to find anywhere that teaches it inside Korea.

I have a friend who is from South Korea. He was adopted and brought to the US when he was still a baby. He's a TKD black belt. He's taken trips back to Korea and he's sparred with people who have learned TKD there and they are all horrible because they've been taught to dance rather than fight.

The only fighting they know is point fighting so they do not learn to defend and they do not learn how to generate power. They are incredibly fast but, in a real fight, he had no doubts that they would pose little to no threat unless he was greatly outnumbered.