in case you have ears as useless as mine...

"All right, it's late and I'm paying my babysitter overtime and I have to pee, so ... everybody fucking likes you. All my bits are gone. Listen, I had lunch today with Rita [Wilson' Hanks' wife], and her tits were here and her waist was here and her ass was all that. So, what can I tell you that's new?

Tom Hanks - what the fuck? Listen ... Bosom Buddies, people. Me: a fan. Bosom Buddies. I saw Turner & Hooch, The Money Pit; I missed That Thing [You Do!]. I love the Coen Brothers, but the hair, Tom - I don't even know what the fuck that movie was about. You in the airport with the accent; it was a pass for me. Do you love airports, or were you dissing immigrant laws? I didn't know! I love you, and I didn't know what to do. Silly. God, I'm wearing the same fucking dress tonight as your publicist.

Listen, I've got to get home. But I must say this - Tom Hanks, I love you. You do something that two other people on the planet do - and this is true, people. It's so dark out there [in the auditorium], I feel like I'm in space. Thank you, whoever made it light - JJ Abrams, are you here?

But truly, people who Tom and I don't know, I was going to tell you something that is really profound and comes from the heart that I do have. Which is this: Tom can walk into any room and make you feel like you're in your living room, truly. Make you feel comfortable, make you feel like you have something interesting to contribute, make you feel like there's a reason you're on the planet.

And that's a true gift. That isn't acting, and isn't, you know, dinner-party games; it's heart and it's compassion and it's soul. And he has that, and only a couple of other people - that I gave birth to - have that. And also, Sally Field played my mom once!

Tom, I love you, I love you so much. I love Rita. And it's also - this is my big moment, because now I get to say, ladies and gentlemen, one of really my favorite people on planet Earth - and now I'm going to leave and go home - Mr Fabulous, Mike Nichols."

*promote

Promoting this video and sending it back into the queue for one more try; last queued Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 5:52am PDT - promote requested by kulpims.

I love Tom Hanks though, man I do. He's wonderful. Great and unexpected speech from her methought. I don't usually rate her much, but this gave her some much needed cool points

He is a damn good actor. Julia Roberts, damn I like her now. Her use of the f-word has removed herself from the idea of grandeur and fame and has been lowered to the realm of real people. Funny how words and gestures can do that...

Wow, someone's been drinking a lot.

Fuck these self-congratulatory celebrities with no sense of reality.

>> ^Trancecoach:
Fuck these self-congratulatory celebrities with no sense of reality.


Hear hear.

+10 to julia

Famous people just love to give each other awards for being famous.

>> ^Trancecoach:
Fuck these self-congratulatory celebrities with no sense of reality.


Tom Hanks is everyman. When Tom gets an award, we get an award. When Julia Roberts pays him tribute, she pays us tribute. There are many things in Hollywood worthy of venom but I think using it on Tom diminishes its use elsewhere.

Still waiting for Bachelor Party 2.

>> ^Trancecoach:
Fuck these self-congratulatory celebrities with no sense of reality.

YEA!!!!! AND FUCK PANTS TOO!!! WHO THE HELL NEEDS PANTS?!!!!!

>> ^rottenseed:
>> ^Trancecoach:
Fuck these self-congratulatory celebrities with no sense of reality.

YEA!!!!! AND FUCK PANTS TOO!!! WHO THE HELL NEEDS PANTS?!!!!!


Hear hear.

*dead

This video has been declared non-functional; embed code must be fixed within 2 days or it will be sent to the dead pool - declared dead by ReverendTed.

Awarding kulpims with one Power Point for fixing this video's dead embed code.