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How To Brew The Perfect Cup Of Coffee

A couple easy steps that will help you brew the perfect cup of coffee every morning.
enochsays...

oh come ON!
THIS is the ritual they suggest for a "perfect" cup of coffee?
ok..lets review.
1.have your own roaster....can i borrow yours?
2.have your own grinder....fuck you..you pretentious coffee elitist.
3.have some friends help sort the good and bad roasted beans...shall i just go ahead and call them "former friends"?
4.use bad grounds to season the filter..whaaaa?...then throw bad grounds away..oh fuck you man.i paid good money for those beans.
5.place good beans and let sit for an hour....what the fuck man!you mean i STILL dont have my morning coffee?
6.then spray grounds with a fine water mist so a healthy mold can grow....ok..stop-stop-stop...now you can just go fuck yourself.
7.no..there is no step 7.the only last step is me kicking you in the balls.

i blame you coffee boy.making me wait three weeks for a cup of joe.
you pretentious elitist FUCK.

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