Has anyone ever applied for a US passport for their kids?

We're leaving the country for summer vacation and I'm trying to get them a passport. Apparently, the passport office wants ALL parties listed on the birth certificate present when applying. This is a problem. Assuming I could even find their father (and I probably could if I put a little effort in, given he isn't on a bender or back in the state asylum), it would be physically dangerous to do so. No one on the phone is the least bit helpful. Anyone know a loophole?