VelociraptPURR!

Your cat needs a new throw out bearing.

Our girl kitty has a similar purr. One of her nicknames is 'squawkles', cuz it sort of sounds like a bird sqawk put through a purr grinder.

That cat is broken. They need to return it to catsomer service for repairs.

Bed alert! Bed alert! I am not a drill.

Catsomer service doesn't do repairs. You gotta meow it in to the distribution center and they'll basically just send you a new one. No one knows what they do with the returned cats...