"Your mum can't fuckin help you now" was terrific.

Wow, didn't expect to see the comments section explode like this. Seems like some people took what he was saying seriously in spite of the multiple disclaimers he gives the audience that this whole bit is a joke.

I could absolutely see why someone who is an actual Cosby rape victim and takes Jefferies's words seriously would be offended. I could absolutely see someone not being able to transcend their own personal pain in order to see the irony in this bit. But this seems like a wholly different kind of joke from the one Dave Tosh allegedly made in which it was really unclear whether he was joking or not about inviting audience members to rape a woman for daring to heckle him during a set. I don't see any malice in this routine whatsoever.

If you don't find it funny, that's fine. Every joke doesn't have to be funny to every single person on the planet. And if you don't approve of rape jokes, that's fine too. Like Reginald D. Hunter says, go ahead and withhold your laughter. "But take it from the rest of us who did laugh--it was fuckin' funny."

I fuckin LOVE Betty! Thanks! Sorry about the clown thing.

You remind me of Raleigh, whom I quote as follows...

You never studied your Holy Homework. That's two capital H's there. All the rest are lowercase in any fucking case.

Supreme Court? You are not the fucking supreme court of anything except hell.

For the next 10,000 years you will shovel your shit and eat it because you're on repeat motherfucker and it just started backwards and you can't do a fuckin' thing about it.

The public are gonna take back from you everything you took away from them you motherFUCKER!

I'm not well-informed enough about the contents of each of the 4 bills to concur with your "they were all shit" assessment (though I can certainly believe that might well be true).

But I bigtime agree with being against "knee jerk legislation" ... cough cough Patriot Act cough cough.

On the other hand, a very legitimate gripe about the Legislative branch of government is that it doesn't even pass "knee jerk" legislation because moving one's knees requires being alive with basic brain function. The Senate (and House) might as well be a fuckin' corpse with rigor mortis. Sits around and accomplishes nothing except getting increasingly putrefied as time goes by.

Fuckin' horror story

Where to start……
The forced laughter when someone’s buddy is filmed wiping out - AH hahaha AH hahaha

99.9% of “selfies”, I despise that word. I don’t want to see your pasty bloated pimply mug so close-up like we’re jammed in a fuckin elevator and I can count your nose hairs. Wearing either the blank dumb look people have when looking at their computer screen or camera phone, or the overly gleeful shit-eating ventriloquist dummy look, All it takes is a camera lens to make people go ape-shit, like a baby making faces in a mirror. When did that shit become normal?

Any kind of rambling monologue with the subject weighing in on the stupid shit of the day, like they are some wise head of state being interviewed on some crisis. Or filming themselves narrating at the scene of some non-event, like they are Edward Murrow reporting on the London Blitz.

The vast majority of trend videos, like “Things New Yorkers Say”, etc. They generally have high production values but ZERO talent on the actual writing. The “punchlines” are usually weak or non-existent, apparently there’s no such thing as out-takes anymore. It’s usually weak material followed by long pauses, which I guess if you drag it out long enough it somehow becomes funny. “Modern Family” and “The Office” have beat that non-punchline pause to death. “Spinal Tap” was the only mock-umentary that ever worked, everything else is just weak.

Idiots who edit videos and who don’t have the basic sense to accommodate people who haven’t seen the material. I’m watching a video on YouTube of vacation snaps from someone’s trip to the mountains of Chile, and they leave each photo onscreen for about 1.2 seconds, with the editor’s goal to use every single transition available in the editing palette to move on to the next picture. It’s amateurish.

Someone else mentioned videos with overly long intros\titles and I agree. It's not "Gone With the Wind", it's a video of your dog pissing in your living room, just get to it.

Back in a few, going to pour my second cup of the day. :-)

You took me as safe
That was your first mistake
Who said I was safe

The other night I watched the Oscars
And the roster of the only yellow men were all statues
We a quarter of the population
There’s a room of fuckin’ 1 percenters laughing at you
Fuck a bamboo ceiling, guess I gotta play the villain
ODB up at the Grammys on the mic
Like “Wu-Tang is for the children!”
Bruce Jenner is woman
OJ was acquitted
Kim K is a hero
The sky is the limit, any minute now
They gonna let an Asian brotha’ get a lead role
Shots fired I'm a reload, never saw this side of Chino
He was always quiet keeping to himself
Never messed with anybody else
That's the Jonathan that we know

Seems so safe, till one day things go cray
I swear if things don’t change
My actions can’t be blamed, (STAND UP!)
And now you gotta duck!
You know you never gave a fuck!
I came to get my cut! (fuck you, pay me)
You know I never gave a fuck!

I ain't never heard of none y’all fools
I can do whatever every one of y’all do
If I never get a chance
You might see the homie show up on the 5 o’ clock news
You ain't never seen a yellow boy wild’n yellow boy shinin’ , Sound the alarm I got news
Go ahead and pro-file em’ I ain't pro-violence
Shhhhh, silence is how yellow boys move
Its been the same ol’ thang, I swear the game don’t change
What you talking bout there ain't no space
Guess i gotta go and make more space
You know I’m cool as a motherfucker
Chillin’ in the cut hella quiet with the loud pack
Since I’m a cool motherfucker
You think everything is safe till I ask you where the safe at!

Seems so safe, till one day things go cray
I swear if things don’t change
My actions can’t be blamed, (STAND UP!)
And now you gotta duck!
You know you never gave a fuck!
I came to get my cut! (fuck you, pay me)
You know I never gave a fuck!

You took me as safe
That was your first mistake
Who said I was safe

You're such a stupid prick and should have been banned for bein' a fuckin' troll soooooooooo long ago.

Ago away you useless person..

To be fair, rock has been pretty male centric.

And man, I hate the fuckin' Eagles

Hey, that guy almost got killed -- fuckin' HILARIOUS!

I think the problem is more a general attitude of PC nonsense like making a crusade out of people dressing up like people of other races for halloween. Well, I guess that means only people from fuckin Transylvania can dress up like Dracula and tell the black girl she can't be Cinderella -- that's fucked up. And that's what's generally fucking wrong with PC: it's just one sided shit. I come from a family with a long line of racist beliefs so I can tell you there is a HUGE difference between edgy behavior and actual racism. And people should know the difference.

I can just tell when a conversation is going to be a quick hello and goodbye when it's impossible to speak my mind. I can just walk away without offending someone, a comedian cannot. Praise Elune I only spend time with pot smoking trannies, angry gamers and booze guzzling musicians. I would probably murder myself before it ever got close to 1984. You can take my life but I'm taking my good genes with me and the Chosen One will never be born.

Always avoid women that like and frequently wield knives. Always. It's just GODDAMN common knowledge, son. Now if you don't stop askin' stupid fuckin' questions... grandpappy's gonna beatcha senseless. But it seems ya already lost yer sense so why don't you just break off a long thin tree branch, pull off all them leaves and little teeny branches, bring over grandpappy that switch and grandpappy'll just flog your little ass red.

Jesus, I'm sorry -- the spirit of grandpappy invaded my body like i was a Bene Gesserit whore. Not today, grandpappy.