I here she's going to star in her own autobiographical story entitled, "Memoirs of a Fat-Skinny-Skinny-Fat Bitch." (direct to Redbox)

I don't get it. What are these fat bitches talking about?

Is that you, quantum mushroom???

>> ^budzos:

You're right he should have just taken the slap. Like a real man. What kind of man takes revenge on women who are advancing towards him and could possibly do any one of a million things to harm him in the real world and not some fantasy boy scout world where all women are harmless?
Don't you think it's a bit sexist to assume no woman can harm a man? No two women? The guy is skinny. These are two angry fat bitches coming at him.
Now everyone go ahead and ignore my logic and attack me for using one of your magic win-by-default words.

You're right he should have just taken the slap. Like a real man. What kind of man takes revenge on women who are advancing towards him and could possibly do any one of a million things to harm him in the real world and not some fantasy boy scout world where all women are harmless?

Don't you think it's a bit sexist to assume no woman can harm a man? No two women? The guy is skinny. These are two angry fat bitches coming at him.

Now everyone go ahead and ignore my logic and attack me for using one of your magic win-by-default words.

Real, I'm a gamer. I smashed my mouse and broke it when shit happens. Well, mouse is very cheap though, lol. After spending hours game play, building your reputation, achieving many cool stuff, some characters which built nicely and become famous can worth thousands of dollars (if you decide to sell someday). This part most people don't understand, Gamers can sell their characters or even earn money from the game, their equipment and worth some money.

It's normal reaction, it looks like he was controlling his anger, he rather break his monitor then break the fat bitch's head, she's lucky that he doesn't put all his anger to her. which means, he was still in control and think logically. As a boyfriend he felt betrayed, after he trusted her so much with what he like the most. As a man he felt she has spit on his ego. Well, she just has blew off all of his respect and trust towards her. Psychologically, it's normal.

She's the one who should go to the shrink by acting like this

Makes sense that the only neighbor they found that didn't like it was a fat bitch who probably hasn't eaten a vegetable in her life.

AHhh!! Where to start...

The fat, lazy, belligerently racist woman got what she deserves.

However, the gentleman's statement is absurd, "We're no longer in the 60's, we have rights now... Obama is President." Obama being President has nothing to do with their rights and liberties. In fact, the woman has a right to free speech (no matter how stupid, idiotic or racist it might be).

I'm not condoning her actions or words but I am pleased to see that he used HIS free speech rights to call her a "Fat Bitch" several times.

As for being sprayed with a hose, I'm sure that doesn't qualify as assault. But here in the Good 'Ol US&A you can sue anyone for anything (It doesn't mean you'll win though).

>> ^spoco2:

>> ^Matthu:
Well, my dog kept glancing at the kid and back at me, he was ready to bolt but I didn't catch it in time, and he took off after the kid. The kid panicked and raced right into the street, both of them almost got hit by cars. And just then the police were turning the corner and pretty much caught the whole thing. The kid was bawling his eyes out. I got a ticket and a stern lecture from a dumb fat bitch cop.
Whats my point? Well. It's a given that I fucked up my letting my dog off his leash like that. But, I really wish there would be some amount of responsibility on the kid, or his parents for being so ignorant.
Oh come ON! Fucking hell I can't believe that you could actually tell that story with the thought that you're in the right, or the kid is in the wrong at all.
It's NOT the kid who is ignorant in this situation, it's you. To try to say that the kid should know better than to LOOK at an animal, fucking hell. You are fully in the wrong here as YOU are the one that has chosen to own a potentially lethal animal (I'm not singling out pit bulls here, all dogs are that way, and I've had a dog, I have nothing against them), so YOU have the responsibility to keep it safe and to keep others safe from it.
If that kid's family had a dog, then YES it's the parent's job to teach it how to behave around them, how not to aggravate them etc. But to expect all kids, even those that do not have dogs, to NOT look at a scary looking dog, and to NOT run when that same scary dog bolts at them? Please. You are so very far in the wrong there. Even if a little kid IS told they shouldn't run when a scary dog is running at them, pure fear will override that in an instant.
AND then you say you were lectured by 'some dumb fat bitch cop', which aside from lacking any punctuation, also just speaks to YOU being fairly told off and deciding that she was in the wrong because YOU can't admit you almost got a kid killed.
F cking hell. Have a long look at yourself and your ability to be able to blame others for your fuck ups.


I didn't say the kid looked at my dog. I said he STARED at my dog for well over 30 seconds without moving just staring right at him.

Do people normally stare intensely at things that cause them pure fear? I don't. I keep walking and mind my business.

The kid is ignorant as to how to deal with dogs. Whether or not he or his family owns dogs is irrelevant. I learned, from reading, when I was a young kid, how to escape an alligator(Run in a zig zag). I live in Canada so I'm unlikely to be meet an alligator. Kids should at least be educated in how to deal with dogs.

Furthermore, I already said that I screwed up by letting the dog off the leash. My point in telling the story is people should be educated in how to deal with dogs. At least as educated in how to deal with dogs as Canadians are with how to deal with alligators.

And I called the cop a fat, dumb, bitch because she threatened to shoot my dog, when I already had his leash in my hands, because he was excited and wanted to greet her. Also, she was at least 220 lbs and like 5'6 so yeah she was a dumb, fat bitch.

I should have ran away with my dog lol she would never have caught me. Literally 220 lb. female cop. Not 220 lbs of muscle either. She had no business being a cop.

>> ^Matthu:

Well, my dog kept glancing at the kid and back at me, he was ready to bolt but I didn't catch it in time, and he took off after the kid. The kid panicked and raced right into the street, both of them almost got hit by cars. And just then the police were turning the corner and pretty much caught the whole thing. The kid was bawling his eyes out. I got a ticket and a stern lecture from a dumb fat bitch cop.
Whats my point? Well. It's a given that I fucked up my letting my dog off his leash like that. But, I really wish there would be some amount of responsibility on the kid, or his parents for being so ignorant.

Oh come ON! Fucking hell I can't believe that you could actually tell that story with the thought that you're in the right, or the kid is in the wrong at all.

It's NOT the kid who is ignorant in this situation, it's you. To try to say that the kid should know better than to LOOK at an animal, fucking hell. You are fully in the wrong here as YOU are the one that has chosen to own a potentially lethal animal (I'm not singling out pit bulls here, all dogs are that way, and I've had a dog, I have nothing against them), so YOU have the responsibility to keep it safe and to keep others safe from it.

If that kid's family had a dog, then YES it's the parent's job to teach it how to behave around them, how not to aggravate them etc. But to expect all kids, even those that do not have dogs, to NOT look at a scary looking dog, and to NOT run when that same scary dog bolts at them? Please. You are so very far in the wrong there. Even if a little kid IS told they shouldn't run when a scary dog is running at them, pure fear will override that in an instant.

AND then you say you were lectured by 'some dumb fat bitch cop', which aside from lacking any punctuation, also just speaks to YOU being fairly told off and deciding that she was in the wrong because YOU can't admit you almost got a kid killed.

F*cking hell. Have a long look at yourself and your ability to be able to blame others for your fuck ups.

What a tragedy, that looked like a nice dog.

I have a pitbull, he truly is a baby. I cuddle with him all the time.

Once, I was in my front yard teaching him to lay down and stay. There was a nice amount of distraction on the street of people walking by. This one kid is walking by, and literally he stops at one point at starts staring at the dog, literally staring at him for like 15 seconds. Well, my dog kept glancing at the kid and back at me, he was ready to bolt but I didn't catch it in time, and he took off after the kid. The kid panicked and raced right into the street, both of them almost got hit by cars. And just then the police were turning the corner and pretty much caught the whole thing. The kid was bawling his eyes out. I got a ticket and a stern lecture from a dumb fat bitch cop.

Whats my point? Well. It's a given that I fucked up my letting my dog off his leash like that. But, I really wish there would be some amount of responsibility on the kid, or his parents for being so ignorant. First of all, you don't fucking stop and stare directly for 20 seconds at a dog if you're scared of dogs. Second, if you're scared of a dog, don't start running as soon as he comes up to you.

This is tl:dr but w/e... The other day I was in a field with my dog, I saw another person with a dog far away so I leashed my dog. I continue walking towards the person, its an old lady with some kind of husky/lab mix. She was trying to leash her dog but couldn't as she was way too old lol. She was all out of breath n' shit. So after watching her get frustrated with a couple failed attempts I offered to leash her dog. I went at the dog pretty hesitantly, because, well, it IS a strange dog lol. But when she saw how hesitant i wish she shook her head and rolled her eyes telling me the dog's really not aggressive. So I just went at the dog and leashed her. No big deal.

tl;dr People are pussies and should stop fucking being afraid of every dog they see and parents should educate their children on how to deal with dogs. Those cops are a buncha fucking pussies, they should've just called the dog over and fucking leashed it instead of coming at it with a 6 foot pole.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'highbrow, humor, cat, lazy' to 'highbrow, humor, cat, lazy, fat bitch' - edited by kronosposeidon

THE NOTORIOUS B.I.G'S Verse



Uhhhhhh,

Uhhhhhh,

Niggas is mad I get more butt than ash trays,

Fuck a fair one I get mines the fast way,

The ski mask way,

Uhh,

Ransom notes,

Far from handsome...but damn a nigga tote,

[What ya' tote]

more guns than roses,

Foes is,

shaking in their boots,

Invisible bullies like The Gooch,

Disappear...vamoose...you're wack to me,

Take them rhymes back to the factory,

I see,

The gimmicks...the wack lyrics,

The shit is depressing...pathetic...please forget it,

You're mad cause my style you're admiring,

Don't be mad...UPS is hiring,

You shoulda been a cop...fuck hip-hop,

With that freestyle you're bound to get shot,

Not from Houston but I rap-a-lot,

Pack the gat a lot,

The flav's bout to drop uhh,


Here comes the brand new flava in ya ear,

Time for new flava in ya ear,

I'm...kicking...new....flava in ya ear,

Mack's a brand new flava in ya ear,

Here comes the brand new flava in ya ear



CRAIG MACK'S VERSE



AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH here comes the Mack!



Word up don't rap no crap you bore me,

Wanna grab my dick...too lazy...hold it for me,

I'm straight that great plus the heads straighten dreads,

I'm everlasting like the toe on Pro Keds,

A tech nine,

When I rhyme,

Plus I climb,

Word is bind,

You're album couldn't fuck with one line,

It's been three years since you last hear,

But now I reappear your heart pumps fear,

To your gut,

Did your girl's butt,

I scraped it...shaped it...now she won't strut,

I smash teeth,

Fuck your beef,

No relief,

I step on stage girls scream like I'm Keith,

You won't be around next year,

My rap's too severe,

Kicking mad flava in ya ear,



RAMPAGE'S VERSE



Twenty one...Ninety Four,

Mad muthafuckin' hardcore,

It's my turn to burn now explore,

The flava in ya ear it's the boyscout,

I make outs,

I make other rappers have doubts,

[That's right]

You're fucking with the wrong clan and the wrong man that's it,

Now you got to get your dome split,

I'm going into my knapsack with my gat,

Take off my hat,

Yes I'm just cool like that,

The dangerous,

The ruggedness,

>From the Flatbush abyss,

BLS...97...KISS bounce to this,

I wanna live long in this rap game,

Niggas know my name,

Yo Puffy...,

[Burn 'em in the flames]



[You're jingling baby]

{Go 'head daddy

[You're jingling baby]

{Go 'head daddy



LL COOL J'S VERSE

Heesheeee,

Uhhhhh...blowticious,

Skeevee [mmmmmm] delicious,

Gimme coos coos love me good,

Uhh damn,

Hollis to Hollywood but is he good?,

I guess like the jeans...Uhh,

Flava like praleens,

Sick daddy iaaamean?,

Papa love it when he does it,

Niggas buzz it,

But tell me was it really just the flava that be clogging your ears,

The most safest behavior is to stay in the clear,

It's all for you...It's really all for you,

{Now what?

Punch back,

Close your eyes try to munch that,

Oil up your ankles let your Tims tap,

Bite the flava it reacts to your gold caps,

Word to mama,

I tongue kiss a pirhana,

Electrocute a barracuda...I'm here to bring the drama,



BUSTER RHYMES' VERSE



YO!...YO! The flavas in your ass crease ha!,

Busta Rhymes' about to bring the noise don't cease ha!,

Let me loose from the belly of the beast ha!,

Everybody,

Hey...HEEEEEEYYYYYYY..Hey! you better believe it's Busta Rhymes and yo

we're

bout to rip the Tri-State,

Ay yo! Hey...HEEEEEEYYYYYYY..Hey!,

I'll split your face and give you stitches,

Throw niggas in ditches,

Smack the ass on fat bitches,

Wait one sec,

I'm coming down and rolling with the heavyweight connec to the stomping

grond,

Now...don't you get suspicious,

Grant your wishes everytime,

Breaking dishes when I bust a rhyme,

I know one thing the whole world least expected,

Was how we all connected to break fool on the same record,

Five new flavas on beat...feel the fuckin' heat,

I really think you should retreat while we blow up the street,

Instead of copping pleas just freeze,

Maintain the focus while we smoke these marijuana trees,

Break it down and disappear...reappear and blow up everywhere,

Fuckin' flava's in your ear,

Black Castro up on me, Fidel Negro

King terrific can't be hit

You're wastin' time, spendin' ammo

Scientists balance pol-ar

Digital mic throw chips in your moolah

Hardcore nucle-ar

Ain't the devil happy? Har-har

Rich rap star keep the sol-ar manifestation

And the stars succeed to the sun in this mathematical equation

Police still on my dick like an invasion

Lock me up, snatch up the transportation

Went to in New York, South Pacific migration

Wack emcee's watch this nigga's frustration

Believe me when I tell you that I dictate the mic like Fidel does his nation

Keep it flowin' like libation

Big heads the perfect for decapitation

Cook rhymes 'till they el dente

Lock down the mic like El Presidente


Conquer more dips than the late Hannibal

Terrain gets too rough, I ride the beats like wooly mammals

Smokin' shit like Joe Camel

Fatally inhale

Double-0-seven but you still got tail

Q's scrambling device must have failed

Spies, thick thighs, and mics get mil, lies

Deception, military prowess

Fat bitches, tours, and microphone powers

Chemical warfare and mortar showers

Once again blowin' up shit like the Twin Towers

Poison miles for enemies or whoever devours

Holdin' shit down until the last hours


El Presidente

Fidel Negro

DJ Honda

Black Castro

Musashi be doin' it like that

Lyrical sword style, you know what I'm sayin'?

Puttin' all emcees out on they back

Can't handle it

You don't know it hits you 'till it hits you

That's it

We done, finished

Peace

imstellar28 spends his spare time raping puppies.

What? Prove he doesn't!

I'm going to play a song for you, and then later we shall analyse the lyrics:
"Kyle's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch,
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world..."

Taken at face value, a bitch is a "malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman".

Somehow these lyrics don't seem to make sense and this makes a clear conclusion difficult.

Perhaps our approach was too literal.
Perhaps we erred in accepting the lyrics at face value.
Perhaps I should stop doing crystal meth.

...

I will now reveal to you what "bitch" really means.
It does not mean a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman as Cartman would mislead us to believe.
Bitch is the term for a female dog and is common vernacular among dog breeders.

...

Summation 2,375:
A dog, or canis lupus familiaris, was a form of Satan in the Omen series of documentaries. Cartman's actual purpose is to persuade heterosexual men to join the roving homosexual gangs (see Summation 1,372) and have sexual intercourse with dogs to produce the antichrist.

"Screw you guys. I'm going home." has a whole new meaning now.