I WANT MY MONEY BACK!

If there's going to be a fart in a video, I want a pavement-cracking ripper louder than a ship's horn. I want a blast radius. I want weeping men and shrieking women. I want people 200 miles downwind to think Bhopal fucked Chernobyl and the offspring came blasting out of that woman's ass like The Four Horsemen riding out of Hell. I want sermons written about it. I want it commemorated in legends as epic as a Viking saga and as long-lived as The Canterbury Tales. I want it spoke of only in whispers. I want the Alpha Centuri LIGO to peg so hard that the aliens look at it and mutter, "Ohhhhhh, fuck..."

This was none of those.

This wasn't a full-on fart, it was an asterisks on a turd. This was a "tee-hee" fart, not a "OH JESUS FUCK -- EVACUATE THE WEST COAST AND CALL THE ARMY!" butt-blast. I'd be ashamed to call this one of my own; I'd wrap it in a blanket and dump it in front of the SPD station down the street so our Boys in Blue could take one look at it, sadly shake their heads, and forswear their sacred duty by tossing it in a dumpster.

Mordhaus, you promised me a fart video and you gave me two monochromatic outcomes of butter and corn syrup consumption babbling on; waddling parentheses around a feeble "pbt".

SIR, I DEMAND BETTER OF MY FART VIDEOS AND I -WILL- SEE YOU IN COURT!!

(I farted)

You utter fuckwit.

(not you, Morhaus, the dude in the video).

What exactly do you think happens to the people and funds holding those shorts? They have to pay the difference. They are contractually obligated to pay up -- period.

Everyone involved in the short was probably broke long before GME even hit $50. But, as we all learned from Goodfellas, "Fuck you, pay me!"

They're broke and on the hook for shit-tons of money. Guess where they're going to get that money? By selling solid assets. They're gonna dump everything they have to make up for the short loss. Who's holding the shares that're about to start tanking? The funds 401ks are invested in because they have to hold solid, reliable assets. The same funds people are relying on for their futures. These are the people who'll REALLY get fucked by this. If you've got a long enough timeline, hopefully, you'll get your money back (although at a loss of compounded value). If you're 65 and looking at your golden years through a lens of 20%+ returns, you're about to find out what happens when an irrational market decides to return to sanity.

Those are the first order effects. The second order effects range from the merely worrying to the outright fucking terrifying. There's a reason Goldman sent out its little missive last night after Mark Cuban pulled his stunt. This isn't just playing with fire, this is sitting in a room full of gasoline while Skippy, The Face-Ripper Ape On Meth, goes berserk with a blowtorch. God help us if this triggers some latent long-tail event.

The good news is that the idiocy of the crowds has apparently decided to dump GME in favor of silver. GME tanking will be bad, but mostly to people who should pay the price for dabbling magic they didn't understand. GME dumping will be good if you're worried about 2008 repeating itself, only without the whole "not letting AIG" fail thing.

People do not understand how fragile and insanely-interconnected the markets are, and how easily the whole goddamn thing could be brought down. We never solved the problems of 2008, we just dumped money on them; we never solved the underlying issues that lead to the Temper Tantrum of December 2018; and we sure the fuck didn't fix the fundamental issue that almost brought the whole show down on September 17 of 2019. And all this was before Covid. There's a reason I went all-in on bonds back in August and that Warren Buffet is sitting on a mountain of cash, and this is pretty much it.

So yeah, congrats to the little guy and all that shit, but don't think for a second that people at the top are going to be the ones who pay.

RIP you ripper of the guitar!

London, Ontario residents are great for the most part. What your seeing is Western University students, as usual, tanked out of their skulls on their best drunken behaviour. Mostly douchebags from Toronto with a Frat complex.

Funny enough, I remember this place (The Gatsby) as a ripper joint when I lived there 25 years ago.

Oi Oi Oi Lev! May your Birthday be a true ripper!

Your video, Jack the Ripper V Hannibal Lectar, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

I had two bikes stolen when growing up.

Both by white kids ; )

I got one of them (my PK Ripper) back.... with upgraded rims and hubs from the thief. My Supergoose was never seen again.

Im a monarchist yet I'm an American as well. I love the British system how it is now. The queen is a figurehead that can unite the people, but they do have a democratic parliament of the people by the people. Course no government is perfect, hell Communism and Socialism on paper look like utopia's, look at star trek, it was a pure socialist society utopia no need for money, all needs met freely. But in practice those forms of government that look good on paper fall apart and tear just as easy as the paper it's written on.

But I do adore the monarchy, I've visited London a few times, visited Buckingham palace, did all the tourist trap tours, even the late night Beefeater off duty jack the ripper tours.

There's just something about the Monarchy that can unite the people when parliament can be seen as in shambles. I think of her as a backup system. If Parliament fails, people can still have faith in their Monarch. If the Monarch is failing people can have faith in their Parliament.

It's a nice backup system sorta, which we don't have in America, but our culture and way of life wouldn't work with that system. But their system is hundreds of times older than our country, we are pretty much the child in the world as far as age. They have buildings in London that are several hundred years older than the United States. And documents that are older than anything in the U.S.

I respect our brothers across the pond, nothing's perfect, but I do like the type Monarchy they have now a constitutional monarchy. It can act as a backup system in case of "shit hits the fan".

but in politics nobody will ever agree, which is what means the most, cause individualism and opinion, prejudice is what makes us human. I've traced my family tree back to Wales and Ireland on the ma/pa sides. Even though I'm southern "redneck" to the bone

In case anybody cares, a list of songs\sound bytes used, indexed by time:

0:00 - Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams
0:05 - Yolanda Be Cool Feat DCUP - We No Speak Americano
0:13 - Outhere Brothers - I Wanna Fuck You In the Ass
0:16 - John Williams - Cantina Band
0:23 - Benny Benassi ft. Gary Go - Cinema (Skrillex Remix)
0:28 - Tiny Tim - Living in the Sunlight, Loving in the Moonlight
0:40 - Nigel Thornberry (I'll Do This, With My Hands)
0:43 - A Day To Remember - Mr. Highway's Thinking About The End
0:50 - Garbage - Cherry Lips
0:58 - Skrillex - First of the Year (Equinox)
1:06 - Chip tha Ripper - S.L.A.B. Freestyle
1:11 - Haddaway - What is Love
1:19 - Super Mario World - Ending Theme
1:24 - Lost Horizon - Highlander (The One)
1:30 - R. Kelly - I Believe I Can Fly
1:33 - Moldova - Sunstroke Project & Olia Tira
1:40 - Dragonforce - Through the Fire and Flames
1:47 - Gunther - Ding Dong Song
1:57 - El Mudo - Chacarron Macarron
2:06 - DMX - Where Da Hood At
2:12 - Orgazmo Theme Song (Now You're A Man)
2:21 - Trey Parker - America (Fuck Yeah)
2:31 - Wham! - Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go
2:35 - Eminem - Just Lose It
2:42 - Scatman John - Scatman (Ski Ba Bop Ba Dop Bop)
2:48 - Garbage - Cherry Lips
2:54 - Paul Engemann - Push it To the Limit
3:06 - Harry Belafonte - Jump in the Line
3:11 - 50 Cent - In Da Club
3:17 - Scatman John - Scatman (Ski Ba Bop Ba Dop Bop)
3:21 - Lionel Richie - Hello

Man, both barrels by Bill tonight.

Ripper.

I think it's safe to say Chaos will be appearing. Eldar and Orks are rumored to be playable.

I'm sure we'll end up with some conglomerates. The Imperium will be Space Marines, Imperial Guard, Daemonhunters, Witch Hunters. Chaos would be CSM and Daemons together.

I'd be surprised to see Necrons and Dark Eldar and I'm curious if we'll see Tyranids. Sure, lots of people would like to be genestealers, but how many want to be a hormagaunt or a ripper? I'm guessing we'll see new units created if they make Tyranids playable.

I'm a crown. How much higher must I be? Seriously, failbot.

In reply to this comment by siftbot:
Invocations (kill) cannot be called by blankfist because blankfist is not privileged - sorry.

Lyrics:
There comes a time
When we need to make a show
For the world, the Web and CNN

There's no people dying,
so the best that we can do
Is create the greatest bluff of all

We must go on pretending day by day
That in Gaza, there's crisis, hunger and plague
Coz the billion bucks in aid won't buy their basic needs
Like some cheese and missiles for the kids

We'll make the world
Abandon reason
We'll make them all believe that the Hamas
Is Momma Theresa
We are peaceful travelers
With guns and our own knives
The truth will never find its way to your TV

Ooooh, we'll stab them at heart
They are soldiers, no one cares
We are small, and we took some pictures with doves
As Allah showed us, for facts there's no demand
So we will always gain the upper hand

We'll make the world
Abandon reason
We'll make them all believe that the Hamas
Is Momma Theresa
We are peaceful travelers
we're waving our own knives
The truth will never find its way to your TV

If Islam and terror brighten up your mood
But you worry that it may not look so good
Well well well well don't you realize
You just gotta call yourself
An activist for peace and human aid

We'll make the world
Abandon reason
We'll make them all believe that the Hamas
Is Momma Theresa
We are peaceful travelers
We're waving our own knives
The truth will never find its way to your TV

We con the world
We con the people
We'll make them all believe the IDF is Jack the Ripper
We are peaceful travelers
We're waving our own knives
The truth will never find its way to your TV
We con the world
We con the people
We'll make them all believe the IDF is Jack the Ripper
We are peaceful travelers
We're waving our own knives
the truth will never find its way to your TV
The truth will never find its way to your TV

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUcking *banned

Guess who sodomizes puppies for a living?

I don't even think this is fair. They denied him cos he pronounced "ripa" as rie-pa instead of ripper? Doesn't it rather depend on where you're from, your accent? If a guy with a german or indian accent was on there, would they just never be allowed to win because they didn't have perfect pronunciation?

(Btw, i love it when people say pronOUNCiation)