White puma truckers cap, tats, soul patch, ratty college necklace...

The BRO is strong with this one.

I've maintained some form of facial hair since I was a freshman in High School (at that point it was ridiculously long/tall but sparse sideburns). I hate the way I look after a clean shave, and hate razor shaving in general, so the most I'll ever do is trim down to stubble with an electric trimmer.

Most of the time, I'm rocking the Abe Lincoln beard / Amish chinstrap (no trimming/shaving to make it artificially even, just natural varying height from jawline up the cheeks). I used to shave my moustache area with an electric razor, but I've gotten too lazy for even that so I now just trim it down to stubble when it gets ratty. I'd like to just go full-on and incorporate it into a full beard, but unfortunately my moustache still seems a bit sparse compared to my beard at 30 years old. I'll get there eventually I think.

Occasionally people will suggest/hint that they think I should shave, which I suppose is the 2010's equivalent of "get a haircut, and get a real job". But personally, I prefer the way I look with a beard and I hate the feeling and hassle of regular shaving, so it is an easy choice to ignore the naysayers and keep the beard going.

I'm amazed at how many guys say stuff like "doesn't it feel itchy to have a beard like that?" -- in my experience the answer is NO, not at all; the itchy part is between a fresh shave and stubble. So if I were to shave regularly, that would be every day, all the time. Screw that noise...

>> ^RhesusMonk:

True story:
Halloween tenth grade, I'm walking out of my house as Bob Marley. Torn jeans, ratty t-shirt, seventy dollar wig of dreads (it was the wig that made the costume, it was kinda perfect), and of course black face cuz I'm from NYC and who could possibly think a smart liberal kid is racist? My mother chases me down with a telephone, stumbling with the cord all wrapped around her, yelling at me to talk to her friend. I take the phone and her Panamanian best friend screams at me to STOP RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!, like I'm about to walk in front of a train or something. Long story (and there was a very long convo about the irony and political statement of the whole thing) I washed my face.


Pussy.

True story:

Halloween tenth grade, I'm walking out of my house as Bob Marley. Torn jeans, ratty t-shirt, seventy dollar wig of dreads (it was the wig that made the costume, it was kinda perfect), and of course black face cuz I'm from NYC and who could possibly think a smart liberal kid is racist? My mother chases me down with a telephone, stumbling with the cord all wrapped around her, yelling at me to talk to her friend. I take the phone and her Panamanian best friend screams at me to STOP RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!, like I'm about to walk in front of a train or something. Long story (and there was a very long convo about the irony and political statement of the whole thing) I washed my face.

It's from encyclopedia dramatica. I just though i was hilarious.
>> ^longde:

From the 4Chan site>> ^gwiz665:
In the video, a small, ratty child was squaring up to a much larger chubster (but to call him a chubster is very deceiving, as he is a being of muscle) while his fellow vermin stood to the left with the camera. The ratty child, known as Ritchard, threw a punch, connecting with the chubster, Casey Heynes. Casey Heynes moved with the punch, but didn't back away or show any sign of pain. This was to be the Rat's first warning, which he failed to heed.
The Rat then began bouncing on his heels, taunting Casey Heynes by feigning punches to his stomach. Casey is seen moving his arm at speeds not yet achieved by mortal men. This was to be the Rat's second warning.
And then, following another feigned punch from Richard, Casey Heynes acted. But it is not right to call him Casey anymore, because he is much, much more. He is the Beast. Channeling the power of the Immortal Ones, the Beast threw himself at the Rat and subdued him. He then proceeded to hoist the Rat up in to the air, pausing briefly to savor the smell of fear, before slamming the Rat down with enough force to destroy the other half of Japan.
Contemplating a kick to the head, the Beast, wise and merciful in victory, decided against it, knowing the Rat was already humiliated and broken. One of the Rat's cronies came up with the intention of getting revenge, but when the Beast looked him square in the eyes he became paralyzed with fear. The Beast, satisfied with his work, turned and strode off to his lair.
Casey Heynes current whereabouts are unknown, but it is very likely he slumbers in an underwater cave in the Bermuda Triangle. Because he's the hero St. Mary's North deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight.

From the 4Chan site>> ^gwiz665:

In the video, a small, ratty child was squaring up to a much larger chubster (but to call him a chubster is very deceiving, as he is a being of muscle) while his fellow vermin stood to the left with the camera. The ratty child, known as Ritchard, threw a punch, connecting with the chubster, Casey Heynes. Casey Heynes moved with the punch, but didn't back away or show any sign of pain. This was to be the Rat's first warning, which he failed to heed.
The Rat then began bouncing on his heels, taunting Casey Heynes by feigning punches to his stomach. Casey is seen moving his arm at speeds not yet achieved by mortal men. This was to be the Rat's second warning.
And then, following another feigned punch from Richard, Casey Heynes acted. But it is not right to call him Casey anymore, because he is much, much more. He is the Beast. Channeling the power of the Immortal Ones, the Beast threw himself at the Rat and subdued him. He then proceeded to hoist the Rat up in to the air, pausing briefly to savor the smell of fear, before slamming the Rat down with enough force to destroy the other half of Japan.
Contemplating a kick to the head, the Beast, wise and merciful in victory, decided against it, knowing the Rat was already humiliated and broken. One of the Rat's cronies came up with the intention of getting revenge, but when the Beast looked him square in the eyes he became paralyzed with fear. The Beast, satisfied with his work, turned and strode off to his lair.
Casey Heynes current whereabouts are unknown, but it is very likely he slumbers in an underwater cave in the Bermuda Triangle. Because he's the hero St. Mary's North deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight.

In the video, a small, ratty child was squaring up to a much larger chubster (but to call him a chubster is very deceiving, as he is a being of muscle) while his fellow vermin stood to the left with the camera. The ratty child, known as Ritchard, threw a punch, connecting with the chubster, Casey Heynes. Casey Heynes moved with the punch, but didn't back away or show any sign of pain. This was to be the Rat's first warning, which he failed to heed.

The Rat then began bouncing on his heels, taunting Casey Heynes by feigning punches to his stomach. Casey is seen moving his arm at speeds not yet achieved by mortal men. This was to be the Rat's second warning.
And then, following another feigned punch from Richard, Casey Heynes acted. But it is not right to call him Casey anymore, because he is much, much more. He is the Beast. Channeling the power of the Immortal Ones, the Beast threw himself at the Rat and subdued him. He then proceeded to hoist the Rat up in to the air, pausing briefly to savor the smell of fear, before slamming the Rat down with enough force to destroy the other half of Japan.

Contemplating a kick to the head, the Beast, wise and merciful in victory, decided against it, knowing the Rat was already humiliated and broken. One of the Rat's cronies came up with the intention of getting revenge, but when the Beast looked him square in the eyes he became paralyzed with fear. The Beast, satisfied with his work, turned and strode off to his lair.

Casey Heynes current whereabouts are unknown, but it is very likely he slumbers in an underwater cave in the Bermuda Triangle. Because he's the hero St. Mary's North deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight.

First things first, anal leakages of VideoShit. My name is thinker247, which means that I don't take time off from thinking, even when I'm sleeping. And in my sleep I could roast all of you like the testicle-kabobs that you are.

I told you motherfuckers to keep Blankfist away from the children, and now he's balls-deep in the kids and religion channels. Soon he'll be strutting around, preaching the virtues of anal deflowering as a method of salvation. Just like Oprah.

BeggedmetoPeeonher tells a yawn-inducing story worthy of some podunk Arkansas town's ratty news dish, and we're all supposed to fawn over it like Perez Hilton falling into punji stakes made of cocks.

The "Jester" pops his head in to make some serious announcement that he's made a million times, without even saying a word in jest. Hey Jester, you're as funny as rottenseed is relevant.

Speaking of rotten.cum, his appearance was as necessary as ovarian cancer and not nearly as comical. He couldn't buy a joke if he was Carlos Mencia. But enough of Flavor Flav's oreo baby...

It's time to fuck MrFisk. And unlike your dad, I'm not going to use a condom and I don't care if you tell your mom.

Where to begin with someone whose career hasn't begun? Seriously, of all your articles that I never read, they were terrible. And why pick the Nebraska paper? It's not like any of you can read more than the E at the top of the eye test. And that's only because you all guess.

Some of the fellow sifters mocked your employment at a porn shop, but it doesn't bother me that you were a blow-up sex doll. I just don't understand how you could stand having random semen forced into you every day. You had more douchebags grabbing your vinyl than a hipster music store.

I would write more, but I'm kind of bored...like anyone in Nebraska at any given time of the year.

Also, everyone at this roast has disappointed me. Except for thinker247. What a comedy stud. All of you should take a lesson from him. Seriously, give me money, assholes. I'm the king and I get this kind of worthless response? MrFisk, I'm sorry you had to be here for this. Mainly because there's a cow with a broken heart and an intact rectum, somewhere in Omaha.

Fuck you all.

The bunny one is here, and is taken from a penny arcade strip. The rat was mine, yep. I had 2, but sadly I had to give them away. Miss the mischievous little ratties!

In reply to this comment by EDD:
Hey, what happened to your previous avatar? The white one with the drawn bunny, if I'm not mistaken? I really really loved that one (then again, I'm an insufferable, biased bunny lovah), and it doesn't matter that much, because all rodents are totally cool. Is this one (rat/hamster?) yours?

As the Wired article points out, they're misusing the word "allergy" ... and I'm going to call this a comedy video too because of the LITERAL tinfoil hat defence being employed. In the guy's ratty old car.

*orders hors-doovers and more drinks-

I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy, fleecy
Shining, gleaming, streaming
Flaxen, waxen
Knotted, polka-dotted
Twisted, beaded, braided
Powdered, flowered, and confettied
Bangled, tangled, spangled, and spaghettied!

ty, snipe! just warmin' up.

and yeah, it's sir. not that i prefer to be called sir, though, it's ok if you do, because i don't get all weird about it the way some people do (but usually not if they've ever been in the military), and act like you just called them a ratty-lookin' old fuck. hehe. name's owen, and i'm a big fan of run-on sentences.
been a pleasure getting to know all of you, through berticus's recommendation of the site.

ps. ooby? i have Frenzy on me!

Hi Lisa,

I know what you mean about how the real thing sometimes doesn't stack up to its reputation/image. I saw your reply in the Bladerunner-Opening thread. Are you sure it's Tricky's Aftermath? I listened to a sample of it on Amazon, and it's not the song I remember.

In reply to your comment:
“Yes, that's it, Kelly. (http://www.moma.org/collection/browse_results.php?object_id=80997) I saw it in London when I was on a college trip in the late '70s. It was in the big "Dada and Surrealist Reviewed" show at the Hayward Gallery along with Duchamps urinal, 'natch! It's like when you see celebrities in person and they seem really small and norma l It's kind of ratty looking. You can see where the skin and the glue used has yellowed and dried...hey, it happens to all of us right? Haven't been to the new, improved MoMA yet, I'm more apt to be outside on the street selling my own art, but it's free on Fridays from 4-8pm so there's no excuses!

I love your avatar, and pomegranates, and am intrigued by what eden wrote. I need to look that up!

-Lisa

In reply to your comment:
“Hi Lisa,

I was trying to remember where I saw your avatar pic before. I just found it in an old art book. Is it Meret Oppenheim's 'Object' at The Museum of Modern Art, NY? Is it still at the museum? Is it a photo, or an actual object? (haven't been there yet..)
Kelly””

Yes, that's it, Kelly. (http://www.moma.org/collection/browse_results.php?object_id=80997) I saw it in London when I was on a college trip in the late '70s. It was in the big "Dada and Surrealist Reviewed" show at the Hayward Gallery along with Duchamps urinal, 'natch! It's like when you see celebrities in person and they seem really small and norma l It's kind of ratty looking. You can see where the skin and the glue used has yellowed and dried...hey, it happens to all of us right? Haven't been to the new, improved MoMA yet, I'm more apt to be outside on the street selling my own art, but it's free on Fridays from 4-8pm so there's no excuses!

I love your avatar, and pomegranates, and am intrigued by what eden wrote. I need to look that up!

-Lisa

In reply to your comment:
“Hi Lisa,

I was trying to remember where I saw your avatar pic before. I just found it in an old art book. Is it Meret Oppenheim's 'Object' at The Museum of Modern Art, NY? Is it still at the museum? Is it a photo, or an actual object? (haven't been there yet..)
Kelly”

I love how they repeat the clips of the guy pulling his hair up, and the guy with the hillbilly teeth and ratty hat.