>> ^ryanbennitt:

I installed an ant colony in my pants and photocopied my butt every week for five years.


Where's the video?

I installed an ant colony in my pants and photocopied my butt every week for five years.

>> ^joedirt:
True story... These asshole suburb cops used to have a few favorite "parking" spots which allowed for speeding tickets and "visibility". Problem is they used to back on to a handicap ramp and park on the big sidewalk area.
One day I was bored an literally reading the state laws cause it was in a big binder and it was that or trying to look busy. Anyways, I jokingly photocopied the sections of the law about driving/parking on sidewalks and the mayor ended up faxing them to the chief of police.


And I am sure that changed policy? Try holding anyone else accountable like that---and it will fail. Business corporations? They would, in most cases, laugh at your petty laws. Religion? Let's not go there---but they would laugh too (Molestation any one?) How about schools? They would just petition for new laws to their favor...

Your protest enforced something. And only in the field of law enforcement is that able to happen (Cept maybe a few other fields...)

See, that is the great thing about being a citizen as opposed to a cop...

True story... These asshole suburb cops used to have a few favorite "parking" spots which allowed for speeding tickets and "visibility". Problem is they used to back on to a handicap ramp and park on the big sidewalk area.

One day I was bored an literally reading the state laws cause it was in a big binder and it was that or trying to look busy. Anyways, I jokingly photocopied the sections of the law about driving/parking on sidewalks and the mayor ended up faxing them to the chief of police.

>> ^aspartam:
Let me find 8 friends and we'll show you...>> ^JenniferBurger:
tame.
what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?



you wish, artificial sweetener boy. i'll send you a pamphlet on coping with the loss of your penis. you'll have to make photocopies for your friends.

love the spinach joke, though.

while finishing up my university education, i found work in honolulu in a very upscale restaurant overlooking waikiki beach -- this place had fantastic food, an unbelievable view and a great reputation, such that their employees (particularly waitstaff) stayed on for years and years - the average age of the waitstaff was ~35-40, and this was their career, not just some tide-me-over summer work -- as well, they were all very well educated, with most speaking at least 3-4 different languages

of course i couldn't enter the job at the waitstaff level, because those at the top of this hierarchy never left -- i began as a dishwasher, and learned as i worked 'how to' and 'all about' every aspect of the restaurant's food service and preparation business - we 'lower levels' would be routinely quizzed by the chef and management about such bizarre things as wine varietals and the history of the different wine-making regions, the history and ingredients of things like 'worchestershire sauce', as well as every ingredient and what amounts in each and every dish our restaurant prepared, as well as our knowledge of the hawaiian islands and interesting places our, primarily tourists, customers could enjoy -- i worked hard at this and eventually excelled over my co-workers, thus quickly rising to a position of 'senior' busboy - then i was allowed to clear plates and refill water glasses

i eventually rose to the position of 'backwaiter' whose job was basically to do all the 'dirtywork' of a 'frontwaiter' - the frontwaiter being primarily the frontman of a closely knit team overseeing the pleasurable dining of those customers assigned to us of a particular evening (this was done very carefully, going so far as to assign a german or japanese speaking waitstaff team to a german or japanese-speaking table of tourists, respectively)

continuing to learn and display an ever-growing knowledge of foods, wines, liquors, local culture, as well as as decorum and panache... i eventually was promoted to frontwaiter when one of those coveted positions opened up because of a staff member being hurt in a terrible car accident -- this meteoric rise took me almost 2.5 years

as a frontwaiter, i had the ultimate responsibility for my server team - such that i could, at an appropriate remove, watch my tables and anticipate any and all needs of my guests, dispatching my team members with a nod, a glance, or a simple unobtrusive gesture to immediately comply with whatever i felt needed to be done to make our guests' experience perfect - like a team of spies, my staff would report to me, e.g., which of our guests was eating the most slowly... so that i could anticipate when the last dish of the previous course would likely be cleared away so that the next dish could be served in as timely a fashion as possible - we all knew the cooking times of the next course, and would instruct the chef's team of when to begin the preparation of the next course based on which dish of said course would take the longest to prepare - as well, replacement cutlery was already on its way to the table before a guest's implement had completed its fall to the floor due to a patron's clumsy elbow or the like

after another year of this, i was promoted to assistant manager of the restaurant, where i would oversee the 'front of the house' and the individual frontwaiter teams working seamlessly with both the kitchen and barstaff

i say all of this as a way to make some here understand that, imho, there was simply no way that an hourly wage or salary could have created the pride and dedication to excellence that the tips from our commensurate service often brought - it would boggle your minds to know the number of times our customers showed their generous appreciation of our attempts to make their evening (and entire vacation in the islands) as memorable as possible

on one particular evening, an elderly australian couple came in for dinner, obviously tourists - the hostess informed me that they had presented an 'entertainment card' upon being seated -- now, this e-card is a popular facet of tourism locales, whereby the tourist buys a fat book of coupons for both goods and services available around the islands - this typically cost them us$30 and it came with a sort of credit card that could be presented in lieu of toting around this cumbersome book of offers -- in our case, the e-card entitled the holder to one free entree of equal of lesser value for every regularly priced entree purchased - the book further stipulated that a condition of using this offer, the e-card holder 'could be' automatically service charged (15%) as a gratuity, and that to be in compliance with the offer, the gratuity would be based on the original, undiscounted total of their meal

as we were very near our closing time, and my staff had had a long evening of it... as well as the pugnacious and crass demeanor of the elderly australian gentleman, i offered to serve as their front waiter, rather than have one of my hard-working staff suffer under his tight-fisted and surly deprecations

i proceeded to give them, imho, one of the best dining experiences of their lives, and at the close of the evening, i presented the gentleman with his check... noting both the orginal and discounted bill, and that the check had been service charged at 15% of the original total - he paid by credit card, and after i had returned to collect the signed credit card slip, i noticed that he had 'lined-out' the place on the slip where the gratuity was printed, and then 'corrected' the total -- when i returned to top-off their coffees, i enquired if anything during their evening had been amiss - they responded that everything had been perfect -- i then politely broached the subject of their not leaving a tip -- the australian gentleman then garrulously countered that he didn't 'believe in tipping' - i gently pointed out the e-card policy through which they'd received the discounted price, and he responded with an obscenity

i asked him to produce his e-card again, and i quickly went to my office, photocopied the relevant pages of the entertainment-card book, the credit card slip with the the tip section lined out, and cut his e-card in half... the last of which i returned to him

the next day, he complained to the restaurant owner and the e-card company - but when i produced the relevant details, both of the above sided with me

was i in the wrong? imho, the fact is that there is service and then there is 'service' - the latter of which should certainly be more commensurately rewarded than the former... but some people just refuse to see it this way

This video has been declared a duplicate; transferring votes to the original video and killing this dupe - dupeof declared by EndAll.

*dupeof=http://www.videosift.com/video/Black-Hole-Photocopy

Lol, you didn't even read the article QM.
"The document is a "certification of birth," also known as a short-form birth certificate. The long form is drawn up by the hospital and includes additional information such as birth weight and parents' hometowns. The short form is printed by the state and draws from a database with fewer details. The Hawaii Department of Health's birth record request form does not give the option to request a photocopy of your long-form birth certificate, but their short form has enough information to be acceptable to the State Department."

Further, "a researcher looking to dig up dirt on Obama instead found a birth announcement that had been published in the Honolulu Advertiser on Sunday, Aug. 13, 1961". The Star Bulletin, Hawaii's other major newspaper, ran a birth announcement the same day.

Either someone went back in time to plant that or Obama is American. I'll side with reality thank you very much.

>> ^laura:
the emergency siren-like noises during the little flashback did it for me...


That was the theme from "Ironside" 70s crime drama, and yes well used.

plagiarism makes evraybuddy happay!

In reply to this comment by blankfist:
*promote

[edit] promoted before I saw the copied conversation from the Sift Lounge.

When you do the test drive, the salesperson will use a tactics like turning up the radio, making small talk, schmoozing, etc and in an attempt to create a euphoric feeling in you. DO NOT listen to the radio on the test drive. Listen to it before or after the test drive. Ask the salesperson to kindly STFU and listen to the car; the engine, the creaks, the fans, etc.

Another thing to do is to create a list and check everything on the car. Make sure that they don't slap a dealer sticker on the back. They don't do free advertising for you; you shouldn't for them. Demand that it is removed. Also, VIN etching is another little trick they use to throw on an extra $300. Most cars unfortunately come with it already; but if you can, demand that they drop that price. You can buy a VIN window etching kit online for $30. Why would you pay 1000% more?

Also, make a photocopy of your driver's license before you go. They'll want to make a copy of your photo ID to take the test drive. Meanwhile, they run a credit check on you. Instead, say that you've already prepared a printout and give it to them. Also, remember! After the test drive, get it back!

OK, I’ll hide back here in the thread. I’m in Chicago, but I’ve lived in San Francisco, Ohio, Barcelona and Berlin.I’ve supported myself for years in visual fields, photography, film, fine art. I work on commercial photoshoots, and tv commercials in the art department, primarily doing things that involve textiles – wardrobe, interiors, products. I studied film in school and had aims to be a screenwriter. The cigarette advertising script garnered interest but was poorly timed. I still hold out hope for the telepathic photocopier script. I like to make things out of an epoxy called PC-7. Lamps, furniture,embalmed fruit. I love to photograph animals and I get commissions. I keep a rescue horse at a friend's farm. I play guitar badly and sincerely, since I was a kid. And I’m a demon gardner. Beer, yes. 27 real teeth, one fake. Toe nail polish. Lucky in life. Iffy posture.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'office, prank, security cam' to 'office, prank, security cam, camera, copier, photocopier' - edited by fissionchips

^I did my BEST search for this before posting it, i.e., I used terms like "copy", "copy machine", "copier", "photocopy", "photocopier", "xerox", "paper", etc, yet I found no dupes. If one exists I'll discard this one pronto, and then seek counseling.