Ingredients

4 tbsp Olive oil
1 onion, finely chopped
2 garlic cloves, crushed
8 large garlicky Sausages
200g wild boar bacon or pancetta, diced
1/2 fennel bulb, finely chopped
1 large carrot, chopped
1 celery stick, chopped
1 tsp Thyme, chopped
1 tsp redcurrant jelly
1 tsp Balsamic vinegar
450ml chicken stock
410g tinned green lentils
1 tbsp wholegrain mustard
2 tbsp crème fraiche


Method

1. Heat 2 tablespoons of the olive oil in a saucepan and add the onions and garlic. Fry gently over a medium heat.

2. While the onions and garlic are cooking, heat the rest of the oil in a frying pan and fry the sausages for 5-10 minutes, until browned on all sides. Cut into bite-sized chunks and pile into a casserole dish. Set aside.

3. Add the pancetta, fennel, carrot, and celery into the saucepan with the onion and garlic and cook until the vegetables are tender. Stir in the thyme, then add to the casserole with the sausages.

4. Stir the redcurrant jelly and balsamic vinegar into the chicken stock and pour into the casserole with the sausages. Bring to the boil and then add the lentils. Reduce the heat and leave to simmer for 10-15 minutes until the lentils are tender.

5. Mix the crème fraîche and wholegrain mustard together in a small bowl.

6. To serve, spoon the casserole into a large serving dish and drizzle over the mustard crème fraîche.

Can you imagine the pain in the ass this guy would be in a relationship. Even the simplest act would involve reflection prior works, and an analytical critique of the unsuitability of your current emotional state. All the while attempting to foster a sense that just beneath the surface there is an ocean of gracious intellect and controlled pain, when in fact all that exists is social anxiety and a deep down confusion and jealously about how all the normal people have "fun".

Frying an egg would provoke unwanted travel stories (second hand) about how they fry eggs in other countries, detailed instruction on how to get the optimum heat dissipation throughout the pan, a lengthy essay on why he uses rice butter, not olive oil etc etc

Engineers...sheesh - I used to flat share with one.

At least my housie could drink.

Garlic is awesome. Lop the top off of it, wrap it in tin foil, stick it in the toaster oven for 15 minutes, sprinkle the top with a touch of olive oil, serve next to a fresh sliced baguettte and you'll autokill any dentist within five hundred paces.

HAWT. I think I need to change my underwear.

>> ^dystopianfuturetoday:
To all of you gamers who waste countless hours blowing away virtual space aliens, terrorists and the undead, I have one question for you:
When is the last time you've killed a REAL person? When is the last time you've felt the spray of warm blood on your arms from a freshly severed jugular vain? Or smelled the subtle blend of lye and rotting flesh from that dead hobo in the garage? Or heard the muffled, useless cries for pity from that kidnapped heiress in your basement dungeon? Or seen the gentle artistic drip, drip, drip of blood off the side of a boxcar? Or tasted the tender succulence of a fresh human ear, seasoned with olive oil and oregano?
If you can't remember any of these sensations, then gaming is interfering with your life and you have a serious problem. So put down that Atari joystick controller pad and get back into the 'game' of life.

To all of you gamers who waste countless hours blowing away virtual space aliens, terrorists and the undead, I have one question for you:

When is the last time you've killed a REAL person? When is the last time you've felt the spray of warm blood on your arms from a freshly severed jugular vain? Or smelled the subtle blend of lye and rotting flesh from that dead hobo in the garage? Or heard the muffled, useless cries for pity from that kidnapped heiress in your basement dungeon? Or seen the gentle artistic drip, drip, drip of blood off the side of a boxcar? Or tasted the tender succulence of a fresh human ear, seasoned with olive oil and oregano?

If you can't remember any of these sensations, then gaming is interfering with your life and you have a serious problem. So put down that Atari joystick controller pad and get back into the 'game' of life.

*woohoo, *happy Tuscan olive oil. It's like Conan is channelling his inner Homer.

Thanks for reminding me about those Wise wafflley cheesy crackers. Probably nothing redeeming going on there nutrition-wise, but dang, I've had a taste for them for two days now...

In reply to this comment by choggie:
nasty, dude-combos are better...anyone ever remember those Wise cheese waffle crackers???...that cheese powder they used was orange crack powder......

ewwww, fiefly!!....Both those snacks are toxic, the butter smell causes lung problems, and phenylketoneurics is a government plot to keep fat asses fat!!(phenylalanine -amino acid that could increase weight loss/control, sexual interest, memory enhancement, and alleviate symptoms of depression)Stick to popcorn on the stove top[olive oil and Parmesan]
and good ol' fashioned sugar-fizz.......

Not sayin' yer ass is fat, never seen it.....

>> ^choggie:
nasty, dude-combos are better...anyone ever remember those Wise cheese waffle crackers???...that cheese powder they used was orange crack powder......
ewwww, fiefly!!....Both those snacks are toxic, the butter smell causes lung problems, and phenylketoneurics is a government plot to keep fat asses fat!!(phenylalanine -amino acid that could increase weight loss/control, sexual interest, memory enhancement, and alleviate symptoms of depression)Stick to popcorn on the stove top[olive oil and Parmesan]
and good ol' fashioned sugar-fizz.......
Not sayin' yer ass is fat, never seen it.....


mmmmm toxic!
and we got some *quality participation here, I'm thinkin'!

nasty, dude-combos are better...anyone ever remember those Wise cheese waffle crackers???...that cheese powder they used was orange crack powder......

ewwww, fiefly!!....Both those snacks are toxic, the butter smell causes lung problems, and phenylketoneurics is a government plot to keep fat asses fat!!(phenylalanine -amino acid that could increase weight loss/control, sexual interest, memory enhancement, and alleviate symptoms of depression)Stick to popcorn on the stove top[olive oil and Parmesan]
and good ol' fashioned sugar-fizz.......

Not sayin' yer ass is fat, never seen it.....

mmmmmm..Bulleit is great straight whiskey, good pick schmawy- like Dickel too.....those damn Triscuits with cracked pepper and olive oil and the rosemary ones, are addictive as crack-cream cheese, and a shitload a pickles-I eat pickled okra, cukes, radish, tomatoes, anything with vinegar-(beers)

poppin' Calamata olives and grape tomatoes all the way-
usually make a salad every other day-now that the green beans are poppin', gonna be pickling those....

Rosemary & Olive Oil Triscuits, or Cheerios right from the box. Bushmill's or Crown Royal on the rocks, or Seven & Seven.

Sometimes a valium mist gets mixed in with it all.

Critique????
Pathetic Comedy.
This geek may have natural birth-control in his genetics, and he must have read the eternal bachelor's remedial kitchen chemistry book if he thinks this amounts to eggplant parmesan.

Let's begin with his cookware.
Absolute shit. Finding any teflon cookware in someone's kitchen is a sure sign they know dick about anything culinary-Cast, stainless, copper, depending....try some Bourgeat or Ruffoni, not Cooksgreat™.

Uggghh....the prep of the eggplant, eggplant with a buncha dark, hardened pulp orlots of dark seeds will be foul, remove some of the stuff before slamming it into egg and crumb, dipshitz.

So you think some Italian breadcrumb will be just fine...plop that tasteless eggplant into tasteless egg mixture and minimally seasoned breadcrumbs from a box, into some tasteless crappy-ass oil, and slap some Ragu and tasteless Mozzerella onnit, bobs yer fuckin' uncle??Yer tastebuds have been frikkin' abused all you life, why not just make a PB&J and wash it down with some moo-juice.

No wonder the stickman here is so sickly pale and uninspiringly witless.

No olive oil, no fresh Parmesan, basil, no is there even a sauce worthy of the dish I could go on and on ad nauseum, of how little this resembles egplant parm, and how much less this guy knows the first thing about preparing anything short of meals accessed by way of opening a tin or tearing the lid from a carton-

upvote to insure this gets published( i would hate to have this diatribe lost in the discard pile)-then we can talk about what to feed geeks.

The big question we will be answering is, how exactly do we roast a vegetarian?

I recommend olive oil and a very hot flame.

Upvote for cloudy background. Wonder why she chose this picture, considering the message..

My message would be:
-avoid warm food for breakfast/lunch
-avoid fried food, when you want to prepare it -use fresh healthy oil
-eat whole wheat bread for breakfast/lunch (bake it yourself to avoid the additives)
-cut down your amount (100 gr./person is just fine) and frequency of (fish)meat for dinner and often replace it with cheese/eggs/soya-products/beans/nuts
-eat your daily fruit&veggies (veggies unlimited, not too many fruit because of fructose)
-avoid salt, sugar, bad fat, msg (vetsin) and other additives that are part of the nutritionism hype.
-take good fat (e.g. extra virgine olive oil)
-drink tea/water

I can't believe plastiquemonkey is the only person so far to point out how far removed this kind of "food" is from actual Italian cuisine. That shit is garbage. It doesn't help that their portion sizes are absolutely outrageous. But the truth is, olive oil is good for you. Eating cheese after a meal is good for digestion and for your teeth.

Honestly, I am completely in agreement with most of this video, with the exception of calling this kind of food "Italian". Where's choggie, he knows what I'm talking about. Some roasted red peppers marinated in olive oil and raw garlic. A nice Pasta di Aglio e Olio con Pepperoncino. Some pickled eggplant. Some fresh buffalo mozzarella with anchovies and bread.

That stuff is totally american bullshit. When you make your lasagna with bechamel (originally known as Salsa Colla), fresh tomatos, eggplant and ricotta, I want you to portion that sucker up reasonably, then count the calories and get back to me.

Ragh