Don't tell Lemiwinks it's not possible. Oh my god.

Wait... my wife sent me this video -- fucking biiii... I mean -- freaking biscuits. Those darned biscuits and stuff. I'm sorry, honey bunny. Please don't murder me in my sleep, kthanx. You know, you been watching all that NCIS and CSI and Bones and Poirot and Midsomer Murders and old reruns of Columbo and Perry Mason and Murder Sheee -- OH MY GOD, MY WIFE IS GOING TO KILL ME

Religion is mans selfish interpretation of GOD.
( my GOD is the right GOD and yours is the wrong god)

Science is the search of GOD.

The more scientific discoveries made the more I see the creator.

My God... Everyone will have silver hair in four years if this continues...

Customer: They were able to resurrect my flesh, it's healed. And it's time for me to go home.

Cashier: Oh my god!

Customer: And I.. my.. e-they even told me my scales are turning gold as my father's were. My father was a piece of creation itself. He was the protector of god himself.

Cashier: Well that's good then.

Customer: That's the thing, people damn power. It's not evil it's how you choose to use it.

Cashier: Oh yeah most definitely. That's pretty much like how everything is.

Customer: But the dictation of true power is lost to this world. I'm returning home but I'm... going to come back. But I'm going to make it that no human is permitted to use power without sanction.

Cashier: Good!

Customer: You must give your soul to me.

Cashier: Oh my god!

Customer: I am the Sovereign of Power and I'm going to become what my father was before my birth: "Eternal Guardian Dragon of Time".

Cashier: Oh wow!

Customer: My father gave up much of his power when I was born. Because she.. (pause) h-he-his mate was Hecate (?), mother of angels. I was the only true born.. My brethren. Even Lucifer down in the pit for his fucking retardation, he was my brother.

Cashier: Oh my goodness!

Customer: I am not a fallen. I am a lost. I fell to Earth from my own folly- not following that bastard.

Cashier: (exasperated exhale) Wow.

Customer: Honestly look into my eyes. Do I seem mad to you?

Cashier: Not really.

Customer: Most humans denounce anything that is outside their realm (of...)

Cashier: (finishes Customer's sentence) Understanding.

Customer: But that is my dictation. I do not demand your soul as payment. It is moreso protection that if you abuse your power.. then your soul is (was?) going to be bound. You keep your soul within your flesh but your soul will be bound never to touch power again. That is the dictation of the blood contract. I give you my blood, you give me... a piece of your soul. You do not lose your soul. I am not the father, I have no rights to your soul. But I do have rights to claim how you use my power. And that is the only reason I bind your soul like that.

Cashier: Oh yeah forreal.. like.. that makes sense.

What's up with this music?!

I am a philosopher, I like to provoke,
we live in perverted times,
so let me tell you a perverted joke!

A famous, dirty, horrible joke,
taking place in 15th century Russia.
A farmer and his wife walk along a dusty country road.
A Mongol warrior on a horse stops and says
"I'm gonna rape your wife and you should hold my testicles,
while I rape your wife, so that they will not get dusty."
When he raped his wife, the Mongol warrior went away,
the farmer started to laugh and jump with joy, his wife said
"Hey, how can you be happy?! I was just brutally raped!
And he says: "But I got him. His balls are full of dust."

Well, in reality we only dirty with dust the balls of those in power.
And now comes the dirty conclusion - the point is to cut them off!

Now let me warn you - this isn't Macarena, not Chicken dance,
not Aserejé, not Gangnam style and so on and so on.

We stand no chance, there's no time for romance,
it's time to dance The Perverted Dance™!

Cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
the balls of those in power!
We need to cut the balls
and our faces won't be sour!
Just cut the balls,
make them become Niagara falls.

Cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
the balls of those in power!
We need to cut the balls,
we can train with cauliflower!
Just cut the balls,
make them become Niagara falls.

Oh, my god, why am i doing this?! Singing, dancing?!
I feel like that disgusting guy from Canada, Justin Bieber...

So, the problem with capitalism is that it's in the crisis from its very beginning.
From somewhere, I would say, late 18th century, there are prophets who claim capitalism is nearing its end.
It's like that stupid bird Fenix, the more you, you know, it returns.
I got hungry, let's grab something to eat!
What?! No meat?! Only for vegetarians ?!
Degenerates, degenerates, they'll all soon turn into monkeys.

I dont say let's do nothing,
I say sometimes doing nothing is the most violent thing to do.
So cut the balls, just cut the balls!
And racism is also a problem,
so be like Kung Fu Panda - be white, black, asian
and cut the balls, just cut the balls!
They call me The Borat of Philosophy,
The Marx Brother and The Elvis of cultural theory.
Cut the crap and cut the balls, just cut the balls!

Hey, I am Slavoj Žižek!
No, I am Slavoj Žižek!
No, I am Slavoj Žižek,
Fuck that, whatever, let's all be Slavoj Žižek!

Grab and pull the imaginary balls from the sky,
cut through the air and say bye, bye, bye.
Let's join together, let's fall in trance,
let's dance The Perverted Dance™!

Cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
the balls of those in power!
We need to cut the balls.
and then take the bloody shower!
Just cut the balls,
make them become Niagara falls!

Cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
the balls of those in power!
We need to cut the balls,
let them face the final hour!
just cut the balls,
make them become Niagara falls!

Cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
the balls of those in power!
We need to cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls!
Just cut the balls,
make them become Niagara falls!

This stupid repetative mechanic music!
Stop it!

Thank you, thank you very much!

The problem is maybe not the big act "Cut the balls",
but you make small changes and all of a sudden, balls are no longer there.
Those in power look down and say "Oh, where are my balls?"
and suddenly their voices get higher and so on and so on and so on.
I stand by my joke. The structure of the joke is that this so called progressive intellectual,
in order to score his small narcissistic point, oh, I dusted the balls,
totally ignores the suffering there and that's the whole point of the joke.
So cut the balls, we need to cut the balls!

Oh my god, the satire is so good! *promote

"Yo Jesus, yo, yo, yo, what up with the flames from Hell yo Jesus, oh my God, what the hell?" Basic gist from the annoying guy.

oh my god i fucking love you!

Oh my God! Samantha Bee is interviewing one of our very own sifters! @bobknight33, you're famous!

*promote the 'homegrown' troll.

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

My god Baldwin's Trump is on point!

My God, he's so good. *Promote

deserved...

my god jeffrey ross is turning into something fat old and huge.

Your video, My God, It's Full of St...Spiders, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

Oh my God, is that actually true?