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Weekend Update: Christmas Joke Swap 2023 - SNL

GWAR - Maggots - Live From Antarctica

visionep says...

Go!

[Verse 1]
Vile form of necros lies rotting your mind
Feasting like maggots, maggots in flesh
Soon it left your ruined cortex behind
Now the maggot knows glee as it nibbles on your spine

[Chorus]
Maggots! Maggots!
Maggots are falling like rain!
Maggots! Maggots!
Maggots are falling, falling like rain!

[Verse 2]
Reeking pus-pools vomit bubonic plague
Bowels of the beast stink of puke
How to describe such vileness on the page?
World Maggot waits for the end of the age!

[Chorus]
Maggots! Maggots!
Maggots are falling like rain!
Maggots! Maggots!
Maggots are falling, falling like rain!

Like rain!

[Bridge]
Beneath a sky of maggots I walked
Until those maggots began to drop, I
Gaped at god to receive my gift
Bathed in maggots 'til the planet shift

(Ohh...) The maggots are falling like rain
(Ohh...) The maggots are falling like rain

Now in the halls of the necro-lord
Flash of fear when he sees my sword, I
Rape his woman, smoke his bong
Leave a booger underneath his throne

(Ohh...) The maggots are falling like rain
(Ohh...) The maggots are falling like rain!

[Solo]
Just like rain, say!
Maggots! Maggots!
Maggots! Maggots!
Maggots! Maggots!
Maggots! Maggots! Maggots!


[Chorus]
Ma-Ma-Ma-Maggots! Maggots!
Maggots are falling like rain!
Maggots! Maggots!
Maggots are falling like rain!
Maggots! Maggots! Maggots! Maggots!
Ma-Ma-Ma-Maggots! Maggots!
Maggots are falling, falling like rain!
Ahahaha...

"Hunter Biden Spent $872K on Hookers" - Facing 9 Indictment

newtboy says...

😂 Tantrum much!? 😂

I know reading and comprehension are weak points for you, it’s sad and shocking to see how weak.
Another reason to not believe you could earn the lowest of tech degrees…I can’t imagine you passed middle school when you can read my very short clear statement and come up with that. I spelled it out simply and clearly, and you 100% got it 100% wrong and continue to argue against something never said….typical for you because you can never back up your claims so you must pretend the topic is something else.

I never said there’s no tax fraud case, I said your title is a total lie and is debunked in the video itself. That’s a fact. You’re a constant liar. No amount of your intentionally misstating facts or what I said will change that, it reinforces it.

I have said if it wasn’t a politically motivated attack on Joe, Hunter would never be prosecuted for any of the minor crimes he did commit, he would be offered a plea deal with a fine, like he originally was. I stand by that statement. Wanna try again?

Hunter was late paying his taxes…he has paid them at this point unlike Trump who is still over $250 million behind in his NY state taxes and has defrauded the federal government out of at least that much, likely 10 times that amount.
Consider, Trump pays taxes on Maralago as if it was worth $20 million (and he complained and sued because he said that was too HIGH, it was worth LESS for tax purposes). If, as he claims, it’s really worth $1.8 BILLION…he needs to pay property taxes on $1.78 BILLION he evaded for 40 years…according to Trump himself he’s evaded over $700 MILLION in property taxes on Maralago alone. That’s quite a bit worse than Hunter’s late payment, and is only one example out of thousands where Trump defrauded the country out of hundreds of millions. 😂
If Hunter’s crimes are prison worthy, the Trumps’ are execution worthy.

😂 Fake news! 😂
I know you can’t accept the truth, bob. We all know. You deny reality daily, on every front.

HUNTER HUNTER HUNTER…..The Hunter laptop is a long dead horse, just like the election fraud fraud, every attempt to legitimize it only ended up proving how much MAGA had tampered with the data, making it not evidence but propaganda. You’ve been trying to sell this nonsense for 5-6 years now. Nobody’s buying, and nobody’s listening anymore. You can only cry wolf so many times before the villagers stop listening and start hoping a wolf will eat you and shut your lying mouth permanently….you passed that point years and years ago, friendo.

No need to google anything about the laptop, it’s nothing. The FBI proved the data had been forged by Giuliani’s team. Nothing there makes any case for anything besides more MAGA frauds perpetrated on the courts, it’s a well established pattern for MAGA, and it’s a losing strategy, because you keep getting caught! Try again. 😂

Hunter is living rent free in your head, and he’s got a mansion in there with a pool, hot tub, putting green, even a driving range, and there’s still empty space for expansion. He’s not even a politician, so why would anyone care about him? It makes the lying, exageration, and hysterics hilarious self owns by you and yours. Another big “L” for your team…one you just can’t accept but everyone outside the cult has. Reminiscent of the big lie, only cultists believe, and everyone else just sees you losing your shit over your own lies not catching on. 😂

Hilarious how the mantra was “family is off limits” when it came to Trump despite the constant nepotism, but not for his enemies despite their complete lack of involvement in politics. More dishing it out but unable to stand it from your cowardly leader…he was even to scared to testify in his own defense! What a sniveling little fat cowardly baby, cowering because he has something to hide according to his spokesperson Haba.

Nothing you claim about Hunter is true, (fortunately MAGA is so untrustworthy that no one cares what stupidity you lie) and nothing Hunter has done makes one whit of difference about his father. Keep focusing on him, ignoring the same tax crimes comitted by Trump but by a factor of 250 or more…voters notice the hypocrisy and it guarantees your loss next year….meanwhile Joe has rescued the economy in every possible way from the utter disaster and guaranteed recession/depression Trump left,
IN EVERY WAY BOB, INCLUDING INFLATION THATS AT 0% while MAGA eats itself alive and gets absolutely nothing done! 😂

Of course I’m not clicking your link, if ever there was a site I would expect to host malicious viruses, it would be the Russia/MAGA hosted anti Biden pdf site you pointed people to. Why would any rational person expose their computer to attack to download and read your pure faked propaganda? A: they wouldn’t.

It’s going to be so delicious when/if Hunter beats the charges and gets Giuliani and the RNC to pay his legal bills. You morons had a guilty plea in hand and decided to go to court instead with little chance of getting more and a huge risk he might beat all charges, vindicating himself and by extension Joe…talk about snatching defeat from the mouth of victory! 😂 😂 😂

bobknight33 said:

@BSR

IF you can handle the truth: Which you can't

Hunter Biden Laptop contents, with a PDF down load link

https://bidenreport.com/#p=1

Or if you want to cry about the link Just google
marco polo hunter biden laptop pdf
and select the Link title Report on the Biden Laptop

The Battle That is Destroying the Universe

noims says...

For more possibilities of the end of the universe I recommend the book "The End of Everything (Astrophysically Speaking)" by Katie Mack. For me it hits exactly the right level of scientific detail.

Can I pet that dog?

bobknight33 (Member Profile)

newtboy says...

😂 Trump is up in arms over that Lincoln Project ad, he claims they made him look stupid old and fat. I’m pretty certain it was Trump who made Trump look stupid old and fat by being stupid old and fat! 😂

Here’s an older one he didn’t claim was doctored where they use most of the same clips, and he looks like he looked….old, fat, unhealthy, and unsteady.


Bonus- McCarthy is leaving congress in disgrace at the end of the month. So is Bill Johnson. That paper thin majority in one half of congress is down to one.

Extra bonus- Trump’s “best legal people” screwed him again by missing another deadline, again, out of pure laziness… this one to appeal the reinstatement of the gag order before he testifies next Monday (can’t wait for that train wreck), and they totally screwed up the appeal too, asking for a single judge to hear their appeal after a 4 judge panel ruled on it and overrule them. The next step is the entire NY Supreme Court, not one cherry picked judge to overrule a 4 judge panel. Any competent lawyer would know that, no one on Trumps team did. They’re trying an ineffectual council defense, but that means he expects to be convicted first and is so certain of that that he isn’t trying to offer any defense at all, just incompetent attorneys. 😂

newtboy said:

*video of Trump being old, fat, feeble, and exhibiting dementia*

Ooof-

bobknight33 (Member Profile)

newtboy says...

And another MAGA “bombshell” turns out to be another rehashing of another two year old nothing burger. You guys sure grasp at old straws a lot.

Now you idiots are trying to twist a car payment into some China China China nonsense, claiming this well documented under $5k repayment of 3 car payments Joe made for Hunter when Biden was not in office or running for office is somehow proof that China bought Joe and he changed policy for them (for under $5000)…but the $35000000 given to Ivanka while Daddy was in active trade negotiations, *nothing to see…the hundreds of millions directly from the Chinese government hidden by Trump in secret unreported Chinese bank accounts, *shrug…how about the $2000000000 handed to Jared in direct exchange for classified information (that they used to target and murder spies, political rivals, and enemies we outed) despite having zero investment experience and being 100% denied by their vetting process, *la-la-la-la-la.

You people are such hypocrites it’s unbelievable. You are completely covered in 5 different kinds of horrific animal shits head to toe while actively having explosive diarrhea in the middle of dinner and screaming to high heaven incessantly that the person at the other end of the table has bad breath despite every woman there mentioning his minty freshness.

I swear I’m shocked you haven’t started insisting the oceans are red, or tried to poison them because they’re blue. The just plain insane stupidity your cult spouts daily would have you committed if America had a mental health care system anymore, but thanks to Republicans in the 80’s we don’t and you’re all out there screaming on the corner.

CycberTruck Beats a Porsche 911

newtboy says...

?
Is that what your damaged brain came up with? Get it checked out, something’s wrong. Leave it to you to take a full written explanation of my motives for distrusting this exagerated salesmanship and not understand a word.

If Road and Track did the test and you posted it, it would be all good.

When Elon in private creates this video to show fanboys (notice no audience at the test track), it’s blatantly obvious he has not just his thumb, but his entire body weight on the scales. He’s been caught faking it time and time and time again, then failing to live up in real life with no apologies when his customers complain he didn’t provide what he promised for the exorbitant fees he charges.

Again, just look and listen…Tesla in launch mode, chirping but not spinning the tires…old unspecified Porsche at <1000rpm taking off soft, no noise at all, no tire spin, never a high rev, the 911 is not trying to win. Hardly a real test. No audience, no clock, no speed, where are the track numbers for the test (he lists the factory claims for an empty truck at the end, not actual test numbers, not the track results for this race).

I upvoted and promoted your bumper car video. It has nothing to do with you posting it, dummy, that only raises suspicions that it’s dishonest. It’s horrible because it’s clearly being dishonest to over hype and sell a questionable product….it’s a commercial….a bad dishonest commercial.

bobknight33 said:

So if you had posted -- then all good.

CycberTruck Beats a Porsche 911

newtboy says...

So the top of the line Tesla truck costing over $100k can beat an old base model Porsche while towing up to 2300 lbs (my guess is it’s probably just a shell at +-500lbs) under Elons supervision in a 1/4 mile. How many runs did it take to get this shot? Absolutely more than one.

Total fake. Let’s see it in real life booby, with a new 911 turbo that’s sub 2.2 seconds 0-60mph (road and track said 1.9 seconds), not an old used base model against a race prepped truck and not using launch, in fact not even reving the motor for a fast start, you can barely hear it, but you hear the truck tires chirp. Also, given another 200 ft, even that Porsche would have won, of course EVs have better off the line acceleration, a leaf beats a Porsche in a 1/8 mile. Nice try Elon.

Elon is still butt hurt because Porsche beat him at Nürburgring last year, taking the lap record from a special plaid using a standard Taycan (which is cheaper too), so he’s trying to save face with this fake comparison.

He’s promised big before and fell flat on his face, remember bullet proof windows?
Notice the specs he lists are his claims for an unloaded high end special >$100k model, not the base model and absolutely not the race we saw.

Don’t you hate being lied to? I do.

How Bad is The Cost of Living Squeeze In the US?

newtboy says...

Shows your delusion perfectly.
It’s not worse, it’s better by every single measure used to measure any economy.

Inflation has turned around and is down to 3.24% with wage gains outpacing it by almost double, and wage gains were the highest ever at 15.28 % in April of 2021 under Biden and a record low of -5.89% in April of 2020…who was president then? Low inflation doesn’t mean shit when unemployment is at record highs wages are actually going DOWN, shelves are bare, and GDP is NEGATIVE!!
Negative wage growth is the same as inflation…it lowers earning/spending power…so does losing 15-20 million jobs!
So, combine wage growth and inflation then average in the unemployed at $0 income to get average earning/spending power, you will see earning/spending power was much LOWER in 2020 under Trump even for those that kept their jobs…when you could actually find anything to buy that is. 🤦‍♂️
I know you don’t remember a hour ago, but many of us remember 2020, the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year in so many ways ending in a coup attempt.

Good management turned what Trump left, a triple decker shit sandwich in a festering sewer and guaranteed recession at best according to every economist, into a boom so great inflation spiked higher than just thanks to Trump wasteful overspending and pure handouts to business owners with completely unregulated no background check no repayment PPP loans, but Biden’s fed handled it and inflation is barely above average and well below all other G7 nations by far.

You think the economy is worse now than record high unemployment record low wage growth record low gdp record discretionary federal spending and record business closures!?!…by what measure buddy? What measure? Inflation is down, earning power is up….WAY UP. Your feelings don’t mean shit….in fact, fuck your feelings snowflake.

bobknight33 said:

Inflation.

nuff said
Your old play book of blaming the previous administration is pure BS.
If Biden was handed a shit sandwich He has had 3 years to push policies to turn the ship around . But he hasn't It is worse.

How Bad is The Cost of Living Squeeze In the US?

newtboy says...

Your mantra.
“I can’t deny that Bidenomics has improved every single measure of our economy significantly after the record setting abject disaster of Trumps last year in office and the lingering effects of its apocalyptic mismanagement, but it will get worse someday, so Bidenomics is a failure.”
You can’t point to a single metric of economics that hasn’t significantly improved under Biden. NOT ONE. “It will get worse.” is not related to reality, it’s just your own wishful thinking, hoping for America to fail.

Such idiotic nonsense. Nothing has been worse for the economy than Republican leadership. Every recession in recent history was under Republicans because of republican policies, every economic recovery was under Democrats thanks to democratic policies. The vast majority of inflation was due to Trump spending like a drunken sailor with mommy’s credit card and increasing the debt by 8 trillion and deficit by trillions or tens of trillions more before his policies expire. Biden’s policies, Bidenomics, averted a recession/depression you (and many economists) insisted was coming by 2022 and reversed inflation faster than the most optimistic economist predicted.

Bidenomics has saved American pocketbooks from the results of 4 years of federal financial malfeasance.
Trump ended his term with a negative gdp, huge exploded deficit, rapidly growing debt, worst unemployment in living memory, a historically easy to defraud never repay ppp loan program every Republican congressperson scammed, tens of millions of disabled taxpayers and a million dead taxpayers. Trumpenomics had us on the fast road to unavoidable recession/depression in Jan 2021….Bidenomics avoided it and created a boom. 🤦‍♂️

Republican bickering has already led to our national credit rating being downgraded once, costing the nation billions in increased loan interest alone with nothing gained besides the degradation of our congress and the national union. You would happily have that continue until it bankrupted the nation irreparably then blame Biden.

bobknight33 said:

@newtboy

Better to have Republicans bicker and get nothing done than to have Bidnomics destroy American pocketbooks.

It will get worse.

What if names were farts? Now you know.

Close Calls

bobknight33 (Member Profile)

newtboy says...

Another case of PROVEN brazen and systematic voter fraud on the part of a self-proclaimed Christian Republican. This time, Kim Taylor, the wife of elected Republican Jeremy Taylor, was just FOUND GUILTY on 52 separate counts related to a scheme to stuff ballot boxes in her husband's race for Congress.
She collected ballots from Vietnamese people who didn’t speak English, filled them out for her husband herself no matter who they wanted to vote for, and stuffed them in ballot boxes. She also illegally filled out voter registration for their children with her address and outright stole their ballots and voted using them, which ended up keeping those children from getting to vote when they tried!
He still came in third.


Not alleged cheating, She’s been CONVICTED of 52 counts, her husband is a non indicted co conspirator. She harvested ballots from non English speaking Vietnamese people (she’s Vietnamese) and filled them out for her husband no matter who they wanted, and she stole voter registration cards for their children, filled them out with her address, stole their ballots and voted for her husband (and other Republicans), and she then submitted all these fraudulent ballots, which ended up keeping the children from voting when they tried in person.

Despite the 2020 cheating scandal AND still losing that election, he was later elected as a county Supervisor in Iowa…because the right doesn’t care about election integrity or the law one whit.

Republicans can’t win even when they blatantly cheat.

bobknight33 said:

Bridgeport Election Overturned After City Official Pleads 5th To Ballot Harvesting.
A Bridgeport, Connecticut judge ruled on Wednesday to overturn the city's Democratic primary election after video emerged of a woman who appears to be the city's vice chair of the Democratic Town Committee, Wanda Geter-Pataky, committing ballot fraud.

Those cheating Democrats.
Democrats can't win with out cheating.

https://www.zerohedge.com/political/bridgeport-election-overturned-after-city-official-pleads-5th-ballot-harvesting

Republicans Start Telling The Truth

luxintenebris says...

but this is a ruse too.

the split between two halves of the same esurient pack of jackals can only be a gift IF they spend their energy against each other to allow their quarry to reevaluate their situation (escape).

'tho some of those on a smoking pile of manure end up burning.

and the recent 'flexing'...

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. - Isaac Asimov



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