Maybe Granddaddy wants validation from his son MORE than needing to be a granddad! He was like "You're not saying I'm a great father? What!? Does not compute!" LOL

Now replace all the mentions of "Obama" with "Trump", in this video.

"Trump" bringing class and dignity to the White House, "Trump" inspiring people all across the globe, "Trump" connecting with kids when visiting schools, etc.

Yeah... does not compute...

Wait...you don't vote for corruption, but you'll vote for Trump? That does not compute. Trump has been involved in 3500 lawsuits over the last decades and often doesn't pay his bills, so often he had to address it and actually said 'if I don't think you did a good job, I don't pay'...that's theft of services, a crime of moral turpitude. You think he doesn't have experience placing obstacles to his adversaries? That's an insane hypothesis, he's shown thousands of times that he does know, and he wrote a book about it. EDIT: In fact, it seems that, in large part, he's made his money by extortion, making it far more difficult and expensive to fight him than it is to just let him rip you off and walk away.
He has clearly and repeatedly said HE is one of the people that paid off politicians to make laws that favor him (he said this in an effort to paint Clinton as corrupt for taking his money). HE is the ROOT of corruption in Washington....how on earth can you convince yourself he's not corrupt.

Trump will absolutely make an unfair system worse. He's a megalomaniac, and will do everything in his power, legal or not, to grab as much power as possible and put it into the hands of the president with no thought to what that does after he's out of office, and no one will stand up to him in any meaningful way out of fear of certain disproportionate reprisal.

Yes, maybe eventually the damage he does could be fixed, but that damage is FAR worse than you seem to imagine. The rest of the world sees him as a completely unstable, unpredictable person, and if he's the president, there's absolutely no question that world markets would fail due to that uncertainty, causing another world recession at best just from his election without a single act. As was mentioned, our standing on the world stage will also be destroyed, as it would be a clear signal to the world that America is not a partner, but an adversary to cooperation and reason.

Most non republicans would certainly disagree with your description of Scalia's record, as would many republicans. Some progressive laws got past him, yes, but the more progressive ones were usually stymied by him for completely insane reasons.

True, a smart corrupt person could do more damage than an upstanding idiot, but a bullying corrupt idiot with power can do the most damage of all without even trying...and holy shit are we all doomed if he gets upset and tries to do damage.

Your video, Michael Swaim: 5 Most Insane Ads in History of Local TV, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

holy shit the fans actually did something ... brain broken does not compute ...a hhhhhhh

@chingalera I live about 300ft or less from a cell tower and have had it pull lightning in twice. The sound was simply astounding. Both times it blew up electronics in the house, motherboards, routers, a video card. One thing I noticed is that within a couple seconds after the burst both times ALL my dogs were suddenly in the room with me. They were like DOES NOT COMPUTE, HUMAN TAKE CHARGE.

does...not...compute

Thanks for your help man. Worked like a charm. It's always pathetic when people pull copyright on a parody, and it's great to have a copy in case they find this one too.

In reply to this comment by brycewi19:
In reply to this comment by Canjul:
Hey man, just contacting you about the video "Swaim: The 4 Best Worst Demo Reels on YouTube". I love Cracked TV and Does Not Compute (not to mention the rest of the site), and I'm really glad you saved this episode from whoever tried to have it taken down. I just wanted to know if there was any way I could download the video in case it's ever taken down from here as well.

Thanks in advance for any help you can provide.

If I were you, I would just download Real Player. It is bundled with a neat little program that downloads any flash video. For instance, every time a flash video is presented on a website there will be a little gray box in the upper left corner that simply says "Download Now". And it will record it and place it in a file folder of your choosing.

Give it a shot. It's great for videos that you want to save for posterity.

In reply to this comment by Canjul:
Hey man, just contacting you about the video "Swaim: The 4 Best Worst Demo Reels on YouTube". I love Cracked TV and Does Not Compute (not to mention the rest of the site), and I'm really glad you saved this episode from whoever tried to have it taken down. I just wanted to know if there was any way I could download the video in case it's ever taken down from here as well.

Thanks in advance for any help you can provide.

If I were you, I would just download Real Player. It is bundled with a neat little program that downloads any flash video. For instance, every time a flash video is presented on a website there will be a little gray box in the upper left corner that simply says "Download Now". And it will record it and place it in a file folder of your choosing.

Give it a shot. It's great for videos that you want to save for posterity.

Does not compute =o/

Hey man, just contacting you about the video "Swaim: The 4 Best Worst Demo Reels on YouTube". I love Cracked TV and Does Not Compute (not to mention the rest of the site), and I'm really glad you saved this episode from whoever tried to have it taken down. I just wanted to know if there was any way I could download the video in case it's ever taken down from here as well.

Thanks in advance for any help you can provide.

How big does your mental disconnect have to be where on one hand, you're an American, land of the free, home of the brave, civil rights, woman can vote, racial integration, bill of rights. etc etc.

but yeah, we should lock up gay people.


FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM......but yeah..lock up *those* people.

Does not compute!

If it was Obama stumped on a question, you would have a long list of excuses why he flubbed: heat exhaustion, campaign exhaustion, global warming, tired from playing golf, Republicans drugged his arugula, racism, racism, hidden racism, the illuminati...

Also, as someone who does not get his "news" from biased a-holes in the libmedia, I'm willing to give the man the benefit of the doubt. Cain is still a success.

The only flaw in Cain is he doesn't seem to know the reach of this corrupt regime's media shills.





>> ^BicycleRepairMan:

What the fuck are you on about? Theres a huge difference in what Obama does in that video, He's struggling to make a point, sure, and he forgets a few words, which is actually pretty rare coming from him, his speeches are pretty flawless, even the ones without teleprompters (BTW, do you even remember that last president?) But basically, he fails to make the point clearly, and he ends up mangling the sentence and loose the point, fair enough
But Cain doesnt trip up words or forget a phrase: He has no clue what to say, or even what his opinion is supposed to be on this topic, this extremely relevant, important topic, and he doesnt know what he himself thinks about it. And apparantly, he cant make up his mind until he knows what Obama thinks, so that he could "think" the opposite, but then he doesnt know what Obama thinks either, so he's fucked.
>> ^quantumushroom:
Don't the last 3.5 years speak for themselves?
If not, there's always this.

Obama without Teleprompter
You were warned, America. Not by the libmedia, of course.
Bonus! Algore at Monticello
CAIN/HYDRANT '12

>> ^Kofi:
Brain process:
Do I agree with Obama about Libya? Does not compute. Return up one level.
What did he do in Libya? Does not compute. Return up one level.
What is Libya? Does not compute. Return up one level.
Who is Obama? Does not compute. Return up one level.
How can I disagree with him without knowing the above? Does not compute. Return up one level.
Adjust jacket. Does not compute. Return up one level.
Say "Niggerhead"

And que QM's response to this video:
"I'd still rather than this guy than Nobama HUSSEIN BinBama. A fire hydrant could do a better job ................ ......... blah blah blah"

>> ^BicycleRepairMan:

What the fuck are you on about? Theres a huge difference in what Obama does in that video, He's struggling to make a point, sure, and he forgets a few words, which is actually pretty rare coming from him, his speeches are pretty flawless, even the ones without teleprompters (BTW, do you even remember that last president?) But basically, he fails to make the point clearly, and he ends up mangling the sentence and loose the point, fair enough
But Cain doesnt trip up words or forget a phrase: He has no clue what to say, or even what his opinion is supposed to be on this topic, this extremely relevant, important topic, and he doesnt know what he himself thinks about it. And apparantly, he cant make up his mind until he knows what Obama thinks, so that he could "think" the opposite, but then he doesnt know what Obama thinks either, so he's fucked.
>> ^quantumushroom:
Don't the last 3.5 years speak for themselves?
If not, there's always this.

Obama without Teleprompter
You were warned, America. Not by the libmedia, of course.
Bonus! Algore at Monticello
CAIN/HYDRANT '12

>> ^Kofi:
Brain process:
Do I agree with Obama about Libya? Does not compute. Return up one level.
What did he do in Libya? Does not compute. Return up one level.
What is Libya? Does not compute. Return up one level.
Who is Obama? Does not compute. Return up one level.
How can I disagree with him without knowing the above? Does not compute. Return up one level.
Adjust jacket. Does not compute. Return up one level.
Say "Niggerhead"

And que QM's response to this video:
"I'd still rather than this guy than Nobama HUSSEIN BinBama. A fire hydrant could do a better job ................ ......... blah blah blah"




Amen.

Don't bother with mushroom though, it's 99% confirmed that he's just trolling for the lolz.

The most painful part of the video is watching him try to buy time as he tries to remember the talking points his minders made him memorize. He knows the key words are Libya and Obama, which slowly leads him to remembering something about an uprising, which leads him to remembering that questioning the opposition was the important talking point. Unfortunately he takes so long trying to remember these little keywords, while mumbling about them, that it becomes apparent for all that is the extent of his knowledge of the subject. That his planned attack on Obama then becomes his failure to get all the facts first is just a whole separate level of insanity.

What the fuck are you on about? Theres a huge difference in what Obama does in that video, He's struggling to make a point, sure, and he forgets a few words, which is actually pretty rare coming from him, his speeches are pretty flawless, even the ones without teleprompters (BTW, do you even remember that last president?) But basically, he fails to make the point clearly, and he ends up mangling the sentence and loose the point, fair enough

But Cain doesnt trip up words or forget a phrase: He has no clue what to say, or even what his opinion is supposed to be on this topic, this extremely relevant, important topic, and he doesnt know what he himself thinks about it. And apparantly, he cant make up his mind until he knows what Obama thinks, so that he could "think" the opposite, but then he doesnt know what Obama thinks either, so he's fucked.
>> ^quantumushroom:

Don't the last 3.5 years speak for themselves?
If not, there's always this.

Obama without Teleprompter
You were warned, America. Not by the libmedia, of course.
Bonus! Algore at Monticello
CAIN/HYDRANT '12

>> ^Kofi:
Brain process:
Do I agree with Obama about Libya? Does not compute. Return up one level.
What did he do in Libya? Does not compute. Return up one level.
What is Libya? Does not compute. Return up one level.
Who is Obama? Does not compute. Return up one level.
How can I disagree with him without knowing the above? Does not compute. Return up one level.
Adjust jacket. Does not compute. Return up one level.
Say "Niggerhead"

And que QM's response to this video:
"I'd still rather than this guy than Nobama HUSSEIN BinBama. A fire hydrant could do a better job ................ ......... blah blah blah"