>> ^supersaiyan93:
this sure as shit doesn't belong in the news channel.


Agreed. This is boring. =\

Hey, it's her that can't stop staring at me.

If you were talking about mutual appreciation, it would approach the realm of friendship, but seeing as Jessica Alba only comes to you from a monitor..

I appreciate Jessica Alba, but it's not like we're friends or she knows where I live, or she has a restraining order on me... yet.

I like Hayden Panettiere and I like Jessica Alba. I did not like this. But, sometimes I'm not in charge of the voting...

Couldnt agree more, so tedious and with such a huge learning curve its designed to weed out the nerds who havent achieved the 8th dan of anality. Although I would add, if youre simulating flying around in the ultimate 3 dimensional space using point and click is like mastrubating over a completely naked and willing jessica alba.

OK, first of all, since when is a Sift Roast a charity event? I mean, for fuck's sakes, this guy is so pathetic, making fun of people named Biggus Dickus is more challenging. Besides, I'm fairly certain we'll have exceed the total sum of all his lifetime verbal conversations ("Hi..." "Piss off!" x 237) in this thread by noon tomorrow.

I mean, the hardest thing is to decide where to start.

This man is so utterly lonely he tries to pass himself off as a geek, and fails spectacularly. I mean, how does one fail at GEEK, the one label losers like me and you all around the world use to comfort ourselves that there might be a community somewhere that accepts and appreciates us?
For one, he's boasting how he's at the computer all round the clock as if it's some WoW achievement (if it is, I say it's discriminatory, as it effectively singles out people with no lives). Take a look at his hobbies (#23) - I mean, wow, it takes some serious effort to exclusively come up with ones you only do on a computer. And come on, he added a fucking ® to both Photoshop© and Adobe™ (same exotic symbol twice in a row, loser), because everybody cares about indicating trademarks on the Series Of Tubes. It's serious business!

His 'picture', if one is blasphemous enough of photography by calling it that:
Apart from the fact that he might as well be Jessica Alba (we'll never know, his shaky camera skills are effing l33t), it's additionally cropped to show off pixelation and camera noise, there's a shitload of unnecessary blur and even a fucking lens flare effect for goodness' sakes! And did I mention how hip it is to take photos of yourself in outstretched hands? LONELYPHAIL15, man. By the way, when you say you wouldn't like to be Fart-Man, I urge you reconsider. There's advantages - you'd be more likely to score ladies than you are now, for one. Also, cops/people on the street might mistake you for an entertainer or a mascot every once in a while.

And I don't mean to nit-pick here, but what the hell is this guy doing here anyway? Obviously, he's implying that out of the 33 boring videos he's sifted (I suggest you go downvote all of them so that he doesn't get his hopes up), he's yet to enjoy any of them, as this remains his ultimate goal (#30). He mentions another, "self-entertainment", which is followed by "lol". Congratulations on achieving that second goal on such short notice. Although I do immensely pity karkarlee if you're equally easy to satisfy in other areas.

Finally,
>> ^karkarlee:
^ 32. What made you pick Obsidianfire as a username?
I mean look at it: obsidian fire. Imagine black fire, that's fucking awesome emo.

Here's an image of black fire for you. Since it's obviously the most awesomest thing ever for you, I hope you experience your very first orgasm over it. Then you might actually not feel too guilty while reassuring karkarlee for the hundredth time that you're very experienced in this secksing business.

Other roasters: here's your dessert.

oh yeah, and another thing, like I was telling another user...

"I like the infant baby Christmas Jesus better-maybe she had a better attitude than the box-office Quaalude of the time-Mankiewicz shoulda' used a negress...a Nubian princess from W.Hollywood, who had never been inna film....but he was Just anyother Hollywood Jew, drunk on pussy.But what do I know about casting-and for the that matter, What the fuck do YOU know about Jessica Alba??!!! Greeks are some dark motherfuckers, and their women look way better than Liz did after 25-Liz dogged-out quick, faster than a Latina goes abuelita..."

love how they used them darkies all dressed like savages, (oooh, the word savages is as politically incorrect nowadays to the same people who cringe at the word nigger when printed regardless of the context..(otherwise known as self-righteous DUMBASSES ) but the first woman that comes out has pasties all over her titties, happens to be some bitch-asss white woman, who the the director has been bangin' all along, along with the black girls in the same un-credited crew, who never got in front of a camera, ceptn' au privae ...too many problems. back when mooovies were epic....."Hello!?" ROMANS SHOWED ALL KINNA SKIN, BLACK TITTIES INCLUDED!!!

This film blows chunks, in many more ways than one.....

[-This just in, Jessica Alba To Wed Tiger Woods after allegations that their Elizabeth Taylor-looking love child, has black lips and jet black palms, and is now host of the multi-million dollar sensation, the Fuck n' Golf Channel, who just today hit the Nazdack, with record numbers for a first run....]

Why can't I promote yet!? This is bloody brilliant. Well played, Weezer, well played. If this doesn't sift all the way to the top I will personally outstare Jessica Alba.

>> ^Farhad2000:
Ha if this was anyone else but Jessica Alba, this video would be rotting in PQ right now



No, if it was Obama and Ron Paul staring at a Daily Show episode featuring an interview with Zero Punctuation and his pet cat, it would be #1.

Ha if this was anyone else but Jessica Alba, this video would be rotting in PQ right now

I agree with Rotty.
Jessica Alba is incredibly beautiful, but as are the locations! Also being a diver, I can't help but stare into the azure waters and lose myself =)

FYI: did you know Jessica Alba learned to dive at age 13 for the show "The New Adventures of Flipper"? Here favorite dive destination is the Cayman Islands where she also brushed up on her skills and got nitrox-certified before filming "Into the Blue".

Scuba + J.Alba = Win!

Issac Brock's got some great lines, that's one of my favs. also: "i'm on a road shaped like a figure 8, i'm going nowhere but i'm guaranteed to be late"

In reply to this comment by NinjaFish:
I think this video should be called "watch jessica alba watch you" :-P

reminds me of the modest mouse lyrics:
"everyones a voyeurist they're watching me watch them watch me right now"

>> ^swampgirl:
How come this is getting more votes than my staring bunny?
http://www.videosift.com/video/The-Stare-Bunny-Pwnz-You


cute only gets you so far LOL
stare at a bunny, or jessica alba and it looks like videosift has made its decision!

^I'll beat my bunny to Jessica Alba. Err. I mean, Jessica Alba can beat my bunny. Umm...no wait...