I think her argument is incredibly flawed.
It misses out the crucial aspect of training. An umbrella needs no instruction to function inside the parameters it's designed for. It's comes ready for use. Babies, however, require a lot of resources and training to perform even somewhat satisfactory. The amount of time you need to invest to train tricks, like walking and not-pooping-the-pants successfully, greatly outweights the demanded time period to acustomise yourself with the functions and limitations of a new umbrella. To even learn the boundaries of what babies are capable of leads quite often to a frustrating process of trial and error that can render your baby unusable. Which leads of to the next issue.
To procure an umbrella you have varying retail options, including online distribution, as well as exchange of services or goods among acquaintances. For some unfathomable reason, these options are frowned upon by a political correctness obsessed society in regards to babies. The only viable option that won't cause offense among your peers is manufacturing one yoursef. Imagine what our economy would look like if we handeled all goods this way. It's preposterous!
So you are stuck with whatever baby you can produce on your own, relying on unskilled labor in most cases. Not only do you have to go through the time consuming and strenuous acts of sexual activity, which we all now can lead to severe cases of depression and anxiety, there is a unreasonable waiting time included as well. Imagine you had to wait 9 months for every Amazon delivery. This is just customer harassment.
Loosing an umbrella is not worse than losing a baby but it's not because of reasons that cannot be fixed. If we as a society would work together and openly oppose the unfair unequality in treatment of babies and umbrellas, our lives could be improved in unpredecented ways. But we don't. We are all to blame for this.

I guess it's not quite related, but a friend of mine blasts the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel's Messiah over the house intercom at 7am in the morning every Sunday to wake his family up. By the time it's done, everyone is down for breakfast.

thanks ponceleon!
In reply to this comment by ponceleon:
*quality

people need to vote for this. schnell.

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

Karen Handel on Fox News:
http://video.foxnews.com/v/1439109002001/

Your video, Handel's Messiah Disaster - Hallelujah!, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

This achievement has earned you your "Pop Star" Level 13 Badge!

What the heck is this?! A dramatic interpretation being lip-synced to a cd? Handel's Messiah is a baroque oratorio featuring vocal cantatas and instrumentation!!

Yeah, When I think of Flash Mob doing this I tend to think of this one: http://videosift.com/video/Christmas-Food-Court-Flash-Mob-Hallelujah-Chorus

>> ^hpqp:

Flash mob? I don't think so. That being said, Handel = bravo.

Flash mob? I don't think so. That being said, Handel = *bravo.

>> ^entr0py:

>> ^ant:
It is nice to see females not afraid of insects/bugs.

That's a boy. I can tell from his video description:
"me handeling heteropteryx dilatata female. It's a stick insect. It eats bramble, yes it's huge, we all know that, It doesn't bite or sting. Does that answer all your basic questions? Oh and I'm a guy."
Poor kid, I guess he gets that a lot.


Dang!

>> ^ant:

It is nice to see females not afraid of insects/bugs.


That's a boy. I can tell from his video description:

"me handeling heteropteryx dilatata female. It's a stick insect. It eats bramble, yes it's huge, we all know that, It doesn't bite or sting. Does that answer all your basic questions? Oh and I'm a guy."

Poor kid, I guess he gets that a lot.

In centuries past, the best music was written in the name of God, from bad asses like Bach, Mozart, Handel, Haydn and Beethoven. These days, religious music is pretty much the worst stuff out there. Sad.

It's Handel's water music.

Mikey, actually she is handeling the percussion in real time. It's only a single note per percussion instrument (there is no scale, like piano/horns/violins). These organs are pretty amazing for one man bands, and have been features on sift before.

heres a good one that shows in detail how percussion is handled on a keyboard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wnDAPcoPsk

Actually, what he's wearing is pretty par for the go when you go to a Handel opera. While it is a concert and not a full performance, the get-up isn't un-stereotypical of 18th century performance costume...

Edit: that said, I do concede that his shirt is rather puffy.

Music = Lachia ch'io pianga from Handel's Rinaldo

Also: William Defoe is one bony motherfucker.