If this is in the contest:

I don't see why Louis CK's video would be booted. And that video might even be extreme (i mean this does only happen in a coffee shop, I didn't even see anyone drinking coffee in this church lady vid)

Here's a better example though:



Coffee isn't the main focus of the video, tiramisu is (with coffee taking a back seat since it's just an ingredient).

But I digress, I've got a better idea altogether! Let's not be so nit-picky about all of this eh? It's just a couple of mugs guys.
Come on, the guy is in a fucking coffee shop, surrounded by people who are drinking coffee, and he orders a cup of fucking coffee!!! Who are you trying to kid by disqualifying this video @whoeverdidthis ???

The coffee in the Louis CK video is not the primary subject of the video. The coffee plays an insignificant, incidental role in the context of the clip. It would have been an identical video if he was buying a bagel from a bakery. The focus of that video is his hangover, not the coffee.

I haven't yet had time to view every video submitted for the contest, but if you feel there are other posts that should be disqualified for not meeting the stated eligibility requirements, please let @dag or myself know and we'll be happy to investigate. It would be unfair to accept any video with someone simply drinking a cup of coffee, especially when so many other videos adhere to the contest requirements.

@JiggaJonson - Maybe the videos you cited should be booted. If that's the case, they will be. Thanks for pointing them out! [edit] Those videos have been disqualified from the contest. Thanks again!

@lucky760, Well, I resptfully submit that your view is mistaken. The contest was set up in such a way that the community here would decide on what video was the winner of this contest. By taking that away from the community you've effectively dis-enfranchised those who voted for the video in the first place. This violates the established principle of Estoppel, meaning you've changed the rules half-way through the game. This might be acceptable when playing "Calvin Ball", is hardly fair otherwise.

edit- There is nothing "incidental" about Louis' need for coffee in the context of this video. It might be seen as incidental if one had seen the entire episode, which is not what we see here. What we see here is simply a man seeking a cup of joe, going to a coffee shop, and buying said cup.

Seriously, it's totally about coffee.

This is an outrage!

@kymbos, it's not really an outrage, hell it's not really important in any way. That said this windmill needed some tilting. You have to choose to make a stand sometimes, even if there's very little at stake.

Just so it's clear, I'll be happy to reinstate the video if the community decides via this poll that my decision was wrong. And we can run similar polls for any other video whose disqualification is in dispute.

>> ^lucky760:

Just so it's clear, I'll be happy to reinstate the video if the community decides via this poll that my decision was wrong. And we can run similar polls for any other video whose disqualification is in dispute.


Cheers Lucky, that's fair and gracious.

Question though- what happens if Turtles win?

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

Coincidentally I've given up coffee this week. It's like I'm looking at the world through a gauzy veil.

>> ^therealblankman:

>> ^lucky760:
Just so it's clear, I'll be happy to reinstate the video if the community decides via this poll that my decision was wrong. And we can run similar polls for any other video whose disqualification is in dispute.

Cheers Lucky, that's fair and gracious.
Question though- what happens if Turtles win?




TURTLE POWER!!!

>> ^dag:

Coincidentally I've given up coffee this week. It's like I'm looking at the world through a gauzy veil.


I wish you luck. A few months back I got food poisoning and was sick as a dog for a week. Since I was already suffering, I took that opportunity to push through my coffee withdrawals, and I've been clean since.

The moral of the story: Consume some spoiled dairy and it will help with quitting the addiction.

What happened to the rose-colored glases?
>> ^dag:

Coincidentally I've given up coffee this week. It's like I'm looking at the world through a gauzy veil.

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Lost those at the age of 32. Though coffee buzz is a nice temporary substitute.>> ^critical_d:

What happened to the rose-colored glases?
>> ^dag:
Coincidentally I've given up coffee this week. It's like I'm looking at the world through a gauzy veil.

Well maybe we should disable the one poll at a time option so we can get this witch hunt on! >> ^lucky760:

Just so it's clear, I'll be happy to reinstate the video if the community decides via this poll that my decision was wrong. And we can run similar polls for any other video whose disqualification is in dispute.

Just a personal note: this will be the last giveaway I will ever take part in here. Reinstate what the heck you want, vote what the heck you want. I am just done with the drama. Thanks for the not-so-fun-giveaway.

>> ^mintbbb:

Thanks for the not-so-fun-giveaway.

This.

And this is the last time I will participate in a project of this kind. I am appalled and shocked and outraged and furious and thirsty and distracted.

That may be overstaing things. It may be true that I don't actually know what the contest is, but that there is something to do with coffee.

Thank you for your consideration.

More seriously, I had a mouth ulcer the other week, and went off hot drinks and alcohol for over a week. It was hell. I had my first return coffee this morning, which may explain the above inane post.

Are the coffee mugs filled with diamonds? I never realized a coffee contest could get so dramatic.....but I guess given the demographic, it should be no surprise.

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

Does coffee exacerbate ulcers? - maybe that's my problem. I need to stop using espresso for intimate cleansing in the shower. >> ^kymbos:

More seriously, I had a mouth ulcer the other week, and went off hot drinks and alcohol for over a week. It was hell. I had my first return coffee this morning, which may explain the above inane post.

I recently found out that I'm histamine intolerant and can't (or shouldn't) drink coffee anymore. I always wondered why coffee made me sleepy when it woke everybody else up.

This poll and the contest shouldn't be taken too seriously. (As long as Eddie Izzard isn't disqualified for focusing too much on sex,) I can understand that not everyone has the same opinion about the Louis CK video. The contest should be fun!

The subject of the video is coffee. The entire video seems to be about coffee, what it does to you, what the lack of it does to you, the fact that he needs it. Coffee is the sole focus of the character. If you could see inside his head, you would see something like this: "coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee."

Stop calling Lucky and Dag "Overlords". It sounds petty.

>> ^Ryjkyj:

The subject of the video is coffee. The entire video seems to be about coffee, what it does to you, what the lack of it does to you, the fact that he needs it. Coffee is the sole focus of the character. If you could see inside his head, you would see something like this: "coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee."
Stop calling Lucky and Dag "Overlords". It sounds petty.


For better or worse, Lucky and Dag are known as the Sift Lords. It's a neutral term, used with affection.

Is it just me or is all this talk about Louis CK eating at our brains? I mean we all know by now the man loves coffee he breathes coffee and at night he even shits coffee. I think however were forgetting the real victim here and that would obviously be Tiramisu. A name I couldn't for the life of me spell at gunpoint just four hours ago. Somewhere at the end of the 1700's Marie Antoinette uttered the famous phrase "let them eat cake" and that was just enough to enrage thousands of Frenchmen to fly around France chopping off heads. Just think if she had said "let them eat Tiramisu" then obviously from the addition of caffeine the quota would have been double and everyone's happy when we double our head chopping quota. Tiramisu and coffee go hand in hand she reeks of it. I mean she literally has her lady fingers all up in that shit! What is it all coming to people? What kind of world are we building for our children when the mere mention of Tiramisu does not bring the taste of coffee to our pudgy little minds to our greedy little taste buds? And when the smoke clears and ramparts no longer need defending from this whole debacle. Ill be standing Tiramisu in hand and when you ask for a bite I will gladly tell you good day sir!

I do like turtles, maybe not as much as little zombie kids do, but I do like them.

If you discard this poll right now, we could promise to pretend to not know that it never happened...

OH I GET IT.

Early April Fools!!!

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OK, all this talk has made me give up on giving up on coffee. Just had a long black and I FEEL GREAT!

You should reinstate the tiramisu vid. ESPRESSO is a key ingredient in it, and is shown as being so ... not JUST an ingredient. I do not agree with @JiggaJonson. And of course this drama is silly and I'll go with whatever @lucky760 decides. Good day!

@Issykitty I hate when people say "blah blah blah drama"

It reminds me of when friends start to dick around when we're playing basketball. Everyone else is pulling their weight playing and they're suddenly kicking the ball down court for no good reason.

"Wtf brah?"
"It's just a GAME man chill!"

I have no illusions of playing in the NBA, but that doesn't mean I don't take myself seriously and try hard for the sake of trying hard (even when it's "just a game"). To him, I say "Stop kicking the ball off the court or stop playing; you jackass"

Similarly, when I'm faced with 'This drama is silly but I'm going to keep throwing my two cents in while saying it's silly to do so! SILLY!'

I can't help but say, if you don't care about it and want to make it clear that you don't care about it, don't participate in the discussion.

I have a confession to make: This video was about poo the whole time.

Where are your precious rules now?!!

Best thread eva!

It's about coffee. It's only a couple of mugs. Allow this to win.

This contest has taken a turn for the surreal. I can't tell who's serious and who's not.

Anyway, my first submission for the contest should probably be DQ'ed as well (not that it had a chance in hell of sifting, much less winning.)

Does anyone else want to see a vid of Jigga playing basketball?

So heres the current list with my own interpretation of the subjects of each.

COFFEE MAKES ME POO = bowel movements
Eddie Izzard - Do you want a cup of coffee? = mating rituals
The Most Expensive Coffee in the World = civet droppings
South Park on Coffee = caffeine's affect on kids
Charlie Brooker vs. Nescafe - (VideoSift Coffee Mug Compo) = commercial/advertising
The latte zoo- (mixed animal latte pours) = drinkable art
Kramer CaffeLatte -- Seinfeld = caffeine's affect on racist comedians
The Office - Coffee and Cocaine = caffeine's affect on business quotas
The Simpsons - Beer Coffee = stereotypes of Aussies
Wish I had this coffee maker! = middle American consumerism
Coffee Snobs - snobby hipsters
This is Coffee (1961) = **coffee**
How to make Iced Coffee = what ice is used for
Six million dollar man coffee commercial = commercial/advertising
The Clover Coffee Machine - Hand Built By Stanford Engineers = Engineering
Denis Leary - Coffee = douchebag
How Sherlock Likes His Coffee (Sherlock BBC) = a fictitious characters taste/preferences
Dr. Cox and the Coffee (Scrubs) = flirting
How to make cold brew coffee the homemade way! = how to throw off the shackles of consumerism
Chad Vader Coffee = Star Wars copy right infringement
Austin Powers' coffee mix-up = the old Switcheroo comedy bit
History of Coffee = average joes bid for youtube attention
Join the Coffee Achievers! (Weird1984 coffee ad with Bowie) = commercial/advertising
Mad TV Coffee Maniac = caffeine's affect on Keanu Reeves
Coffee Panda = drinkable art
Charlie Chaplin Drinking Coffee = bowel movements
La recette des cupcakes jamais vus... au tiramisu = Tiramisu
Vodka & Coffee = alcoholics
Latte Art - Swan Lake = drinkable art
How To Cold Brew (COFFEE) = commercial/advertising
How to Pronounce Cappuccino = Linguistics
Strange To Meet You = caffeine's affect on European Directors/Actors
Columbian Coffee Crystals = commercial/advertising parody
Juan Valdez ~ Colombian Coffee 1982 = commercial/advertising
Coffee and the Brain = health benefits of caffeine
Milk With Your Coffee? = how boobies lactate
"The Coffee Wars" - (Mockumentary) = dangers of caffeine addiction
60 Cups, 1 Bald Head = how German scientists are full of shit!
It puts the coffee on its skin... = dangers of caffeine addiction
The Journey of the Coffee Bean = **coffee**

Nah, this isn't about coffee. It's about his reaction in a coffee shop - the coffee is incidental, it could have been a doughnut shop, and very little would have changed.

>> ^gwiz665:

Nah, this isn't about coffee. It's about his reaction in a coffee shop - the coffee is incidental, it could have been a doughnut shop, and very little would have changed.


That was precisely my take. It's not about him craving coffee; it's about him feeling overwhelmed by a throng of strangers due to his torturous hangover.

C'est la vie.

I want to make one more comment: I was asked to withdraw a video from the contest because the main focus was not coffee. I was upset, but realized that Sift overlords were right and removed the video from the the contest. I am sure the same thing happened to Lilithia, and maybe to others (I really haven't been keeping score). She agreed and removed the link (that's at least what I hope happened).

This isn't your battle therealblankman. If Lilithia is upset, let her make her own poll. Especially when she is already pretty much going to be on the top 3 anyway.

Not everything is going to be nice, dandy and just and be fixed by throwing a poll and seeing what the 'majority thinks'. For God's sake, you let Choggie back because of a poll, and see how well that turned out!!

The majority isn't the majority, they usually are just the ones who are the loudest and may want to cause a some trouble, just to see what happens.

Hey - I like turtles too!

>> ^lucky760:

>> ^gwiz665:
Nah, this isn't about coffee. It's about his reaction in a coffee shop - the coffee is incidental, it could have been a doughnut shop, and very little would have changed.

That was precisely my take. It's not about him craving coffee; it's about him feeling overwhelmed by a throng of strangers due to his torturous hangover.
C'est la vie.


I see your perspective now, about how the vid is really about his reaction to his hangover, but it makes me think that you're not a big coffee drinker. I think most people that are would realize that the blurred speech and slow progress of the people around him is a product of his lack of coffee, not his hangover.

I don't drink alcohol often, but this vid represents exactly how I feel until I have my first sip of Joe in the morning, regardless of what I did the night before.

It seems obvious to me when I watch it that the hangover is incidental, not the coffee. He even wakes up drinking vodka, so his hang over is already on route to being fixed-up at that point. Hair-of-the-dog you know...

Thanks @Ryjkyj. ^That's the clarification that has been missing for me until this point. As much coffee as I used to drink, I never experienced those types of things and didn't imagine those were symptoms in the video of a coffee craving.

I'm a coffee drinker so it looks like a coffee issue to me. I'm guessing if you drink and suffer hangovers it would be an issue of to much alcohol. Guess it just depends on your drug of choice.

edit
Now that I look at it more objectively I think it was intended to be a hangover issue and not one from a lack of coffee.

The Louis CK vid set in a bagel shop would have been the most hilarious if incomprehensible scene in comedy history.

Has hangover, needs coffee. Not mutually exclusive.

This one is also up for disqualification since we've decided to stay nit-picky about it:

The focus is on the funny noises in the scene, not the coffee.

They only actually take a few sips of coffee in the beginning as well, unlike the Louis CK video where, again, for a majority of the video, he's in a coffee shop, surrounded by people drinking coffee, ordering coffee, being served coffee, and then drinking coffee.

Similarly, the video below, besides being a shitty video (sorry bmacs27), only mentions coffee at the end and clearly isnt the focal point. CAST IT OUT!

Oh and don't forget this one, she's just ordering coffee:

But the focus is on the trouble ordering, or poor service, when she's misheard as "beer" repeatedly (since she's in a tavern and they probably don't serve coffee). So even though Marge is focused on getting a cup of coffee (like Louis CK is) the focus is on the joke of her having trouble ordering coffee (like Louis CK with the "umina dubba" or whatever is coming out of the clerks mouth). DISQUALIFIED!!!

>> ^Ryjkyj:

Does anyone else want to see a vid of Jigga playing basketball?


That sounds like a clever ruse to get me to self post! Come to Indianapolis, I played basketball through high school and it's still the sport of choice among friends (when we're not Frisbee golfing)

I'll participate however I like, and if that means mocking this thread then I will do so and YOU CAN'T STOP ME!
>> ^JiggaJonson:

@Issykitty I hate when people say "blah blah blah drama"
It reminds me of when friends start to dick around when we're playing basketball. Everyone else is pulling their weight playing and they're suddenly kicking the ball down court for no good reason.
"Wtf brah?"
"It's just a GAME man chill!"
I have no illusions of playing in the NBA, but that doesn't mean I don't take myself seriously and try hard for the sake of trying hard (even when it's "just a game"). To him, I say "Stop kicking the ball off the court or stop playing; you jackass"
Similarly, when I'm faced with 'This drama is silly but I'm going to keep throwing my two cents in while saying it's silly to do so! SILLY!'
I can't help but say, if you don't care about it and want to make it clear that you don't care about it, don't participate in the discussion.

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Something is making us all a bit edgy.

>> ^dag:

Something is making us all a bit edgy.


lack of java perhaps?

Watch me render this conversation moot with a coffee related video that all rational people will recognize to be the best video; best not only in this contest, but in every contest from now to eternity and whatever may lie beyond. Lucky already has my address, so, nice work everyone, sorry to swoop in and win at the last minute. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to post the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

Definitely my favourite coffee video of all time. But I think she's showing a bit too much cleavage to be allowable on the Sift.>> ^dystopianfuturetoday:

Watch me render this conversation moot with a coffee related video that all rational people will recognize to be the best video; best not only in this contest, but in every contest from now to eternity and whatever may lie beyond. Lucky already has my address, so, nice work everyone, sorry to swoop in and win at the last minute. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to post the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0

We are withdrawing our ambassador from the sift and encouraging all coffee drinkers to leave the website immediately!

I disagree. It's more about the socio-political implications of pre-emptive military intervention than it is about coffeee. That, and tits.>> ^dag:

Definitely my favourite coffee video of all time. But I think she's showing a bit too much cleavage to be allowable on the Sift.>> ^dystopianfuturetoday:
Watch me render this conversation moot with a coffee related video that all rational people will recognize to be the best video; best not only in this contest, but in every contest from now to eternity and whatever may lie beyond. Lucky already has my address, so, nice work everyone, sorry to swoop in and win at the last minute. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to post the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0

.. you motherfucker.
>> ^dag:

Definitely my favourite coffee video of all time. But I think she's showing a bit too much cleavage to be allowable on the Sift.>> ^dystopianfuturetoday:
Watch me render this conversation moot with a coffee related video that all rational people will recognize to be the best video; best not only in this contest, but in every contest from now to eternity and whatever may lie beyond. Lucky already has my address, so, nice work everyone, sorry to swoop in and win at the last minute. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to post the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0

>> ^gwiz665:

.. you motherfucker.
>> ^dag:
Definitely my favourite coffee video of all time. But I think she's showing a bit too much cleavage to be allowable on the Sift.>> ^dystopianfuturetoday:
Watch me render this conversation moot with a coffee related video that all rational people will recognize to be the best video; best not only in this contest, but in every contest from now to eternity and whatever may lie beyond. Lucky already has my address, so, nice work everyone, sorry to swoop in and win at the last minute. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to post the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0




I know... wtf I cant see the cleavage for that damned striped polo.

*decaf anyone?

THAT'S IT...........From now on, I'm drinking TEA!!!!

So THERE!!!

Voting for this poll ended with the majority of users voting I like Turtles..

>> ^ant:

>> ^siftbot:

Voting for this poll ended with the majority of users voting I like Turtles..


But do YOU like turtles?


Just another meat bag. With a shell on top.