These things are adorably funny!

What a push over!

I've got a two year sitting right next to me now and when I say something is done, it is done. It usually results in some crying (or more accurately whining) but I'm hoping it'll pay off later when she realizes that I mean what I say. Inconsistency is a recipe for defiance later in life (or at least that's the philosophy I'm operating with).

*quality

Even though I do agree with @aaronfr about consistency -- although thinking that consistency is going to avoid defiance later? I'm betting a great big NO on that one. Consistency can slide into being autocratic -- and autocratic behavior is fertilizer for defiance.

Boosting this quality contribution up in the Hot Listing - declared quality by bareboards2.

consistency translates to stability which equals a safe and comforting home where your children have a sense of safety.

when your children reach teenage years they will begin to push boundaries.
this is expected.
but the consistent structure you have implemented will be the cage they rail at will also,ironically,be the very thing that gives them the foundation to push out into the world.

as a father if you establish very early that you mean what you say and say what you mean,there will be little room for misunderstanding and this is where a lifelong trust is built.

@aaronfr is doing it right and it will pay dividends later.

@enoch -- you know I am agreeing with aaron, right? I just take exception to his thought that he will not be meeting with "defiance." I agree with you 100% -- pushing back is to be expected, and is a healthy part of development.

Would you agree with me that an unmoving, unyielding, do-it-my-way-or-its-the-highway style of parenting is breeding ground for a defiant and angry child?

I'm NOT saying that aaron is doing that. I just found it odd that he paired consistency with a hope of avoiding "defiance" and made a comment.

I agree with both of you. Consistency is crucial. It is emotional swaddling, yes? A sense of structure, a sense of safety.

In other words, daddy shouldn't have given her that cookie. Especially after saying there were no more cookies in the house. Yikes.

@bareboards2
my commentary was not directed towards you.
i was just expanding on what @aaronfr commented on.

While bareboards2 and enoch navigate through their text-based misunderstanding in the politest of manners, I sit a the top of the stairs clutching a banister bar in each kid-hand and stare through these bars into the darkness of the foyer below wincing at every thoughtful agreement reached.

My developing unconscious, a quagmire of reason and understanding.

You alright. I learned it by watching you.

/&scene

@bareboards2, looks like you cleared up the misunderstanding with @enoch.

Just as a comment, since I know you were agreeing with me in principle, I don't think that consistency will help avoid defiance. My daughter is at the age where defiance is one of her main strategies for communicating her wishes. I deal with it everyday in as graceful a manner as possible. And I'm under no illusion that there won't be more of it in the next 10+ years followed by some type of rebellion for the 10 years after that. I was more trying to stress the corollary that inconsistency creates defiance.

Anyway, it's always good to have reassurances about the parenting style and choices that one makes.