=== Lyrics ===
Why are there so many
Trials and indictments
And why am I greatly reviled?
Things all got Stormy
(For just a few minutes)
While my wife was having our child
That would not seem to be very good optics
For Republicans to see
So I tried to hide it, to sway an election
The lawyer, the porn star, and me
I spoke of grabbing things
That shouldn’t be reached for
On that Access Hollywood show
I couldn’t have another
Bimbo eruption
To end up on Politico
So Michael Cohen paid her out of pocket
And marked it down as legal fees
It sure wasn’t worth it, for one small erection
The lawyer, the porn star, and me
I’m probably going to jail
Unless I can win this election
Now as I’m sitting here
For jury selection
I’m struggling to remain awake
It turns out that staying up
To un-godly hours
Might have been a big mistake
My mind is slowing, no Diet Cokes flowing,
A jail cell is all I foresee
So I’ll just start planning the next insurrection,
With MAGA, the Proud Boys, and me
MAGA da-dee-da-da dum
Da-da-da-da-dee-MAGA-doo
=== Credits ===
Music: "Rainbow Connection" covered by Whiskey Shivers
• Rainbow Connection
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