It turns into a weird combination of French, German, and and Irish Gaelic?

Cool.

it turns in to jamaican patois.

After studying Spanish for years and helping out latinos who need help with English I"m always glad I grew up speaking it. Never mind the vowels, figuring out the accented syllable in a word can be an ordeal. For example "democrat" and "advocate" both are accented on the first syllable but "democracy" and "advocacy" have different stressed syllable locations.

Spelling and pronunciation are far less complex in Spanish and it's easy to determine the accented syllable in a word. But they make up for it with the subjunctive tense. And the past preterite vs. past imperfect, I still struggle with those.

I like to oot ooples and banoonoos.