I'm glad to see therealblankman took some time away from his internet porn to put together a roast so late in the day. I can't imagine the thought process behind selecting his user name. Did you just randomly pick a name from IMDB's worst movies list? Hey, it was either this or therealplutonash.

Therealblankman is Canadian. Let's all take a moment to finish laughing at him for that. I was gonna come up with a Canadian joke, but I think it's just implied with mentioning it.

I see dotdude took some time away from lurking in the sift lounge to be here with us today. Seriously, he's in there all the time. Dotdude is to the sift lounge what Desmond was to the hatch in Lost. If you got that, you're a nerd. Get off the internets and go outside and play.

His user name is a reference to his obsession with dot art. That's art you make with dots. No, seriously. This is exactly why fate was trying to drown all the people in New Orleans, because you come up with shit like dot art!

You may be wondering what "kulpims" name means. It means nothing. It's supposed to sound like 'cool beans'. Seriously. I'm not roasting him right now, I'm just pointing out a fact. He created a user name to sound like 'cool beans'.

I'm sure he's a hit with the ladies.

He's from someplace called Slovenia. It's like the Mexico of Europe. It's like Yugoslavia, but more boring. I see someone called him gay in another post and berticus got all mad about it. I suppose kulpims and berticus' "na koruzi" is over. The truth is, kulpims isn't gay. He wouldn't suck a dick, but he'd sure as hell hold it 'til the swelling went down.

There's really nothing of importance to be said about this guy, to be honest. The most exciting thing he's ever done is ride his bike in a circle to Strawberry Fields. Seriously, doesn't he sound like a fun guy? Wow. Here he is during his first visit to the US.

Anyhow, I'll leave you to what is sure to be the most uneventful and boring roast in the history of Sift Roasts. I hope you all catch AIDS.

Your first "this" had a 404 error. The post looks a little off - not sure what's happening with the code. Thanks for the plug.

In reply to this comment by rasch187:
For the rest of you if you didn't know, dotdude is an artist, a talented one even, just look at this or this or this . I love your non-dot art as well, even if your local community doesn't, dotdute!

For the rest of you if you didn't know, dotdude is an artist, a talented one even, just look at this or this or one of my personal favourites . I love your non-dot art as well, even if your local community doesn't, dotdute!

@ swampy - The snow hung on until evening. The snow on My lawn took longer to melt than other lawns on my block. Been there, done that on snowman - back 1973. I haven't decided on snow dot art, yet.

@ bill - I went with a Volvo wagon because it's really a wagon. What the other car manufacturers call wagons now are too short for my art display boards. Also, I need the solid flat space for art transport.


This video was embed disabled, so I'm posting a link here. It shows photos taken around the city last Thursday.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw1-7vOWUxY&NR=1

DD, I thought about you when I heard about the snow down there. Did you go make a snowman? How about some snow dot art? Bet it was gone by noon.

My blogs are where I have posted a lot of my art. This is a dashboard to most things:

Dot Central
http://dotartdude.googlepages.com/home

The older works are on mind places and slingin paint. The newest works are on dot art and art at random.

In reply to this comment by eric3579:
I was curious, if you have a place online, where I could view, all the art you have done.

>> ^dotdude:




More of Dotdude's clever dot art.

Its really one of those hidden 3D image pictures. If you stare at the emoticons long enough, and image of Siftbot making a naughty hand gesture appears to come out at you.

(btw nice work on giving him a pair of believable hands)

You speak too soon my purple-horned (and probably other horned) muppet friend.

Zifnab
Ironically enough, I've emptied my share of garbage in the lab... biohazard and all. It goes without saying then, that I'd never go within a mile of your garbage. Viruses would be the least of my worries.

Firefly
Yeah, I'm Piling it Higher and Deeper... as I will soon do with my money $.$ I'll think of you when I buy my first yaught... think and laugh.

Zeph
Only on weekends and in your fantasies. And if you want, I can lend you some of those petry dishes so you can see what STD's you don't have yet... ya know... add to your collection.

Blankfist
It's OK, I hate you too. And yes, I'm easily entertained and impressed. Funny I don't remember ever laughing at your comments though... In fact, I don't even remember any of your comments. Wait, who am I talking about again? Moving on.

Snooze
I fish too.

Mycroft
...I've known too many physicists. The last I know was also called "yellow hat guy" for most of his life. Just so you know, that's how I picture you... Yellow hat guy masturbating to properly written mathamatica code.
I'm guessing your autoclave smells because you clean it about as often as your ass. That girl that just walked away from you? Yeah, it's the stank.

krono
I don't know if I'd be teasing someone who you suspected invented the Hanta virus. And that was the only time I was in someday I'd like to visit South Korea. It's got Souel.

Dot
It's ok if I call you Dot right? Dude just doesn't seem to fit as well as dot. I happen to have some boxers with dots on them. Is there money in mounting that like you do or should I just stick to the old-fashioned uses? And btw, I can lend you my vacuum if you ever want to suck the last years of cheerios from your beard some time.

Smibbo
Feel free to come back and contribute when you get the crap off your hands and the vomit off your shirt.

15
"i'm late. stoned. cigarette dangling out of the corner of my mouth. so self-involved that i'm talking about myself. and i refuse to take the effort to use the shift key."
I figured.

heap
You noob. In a real roast, the roastee is the last to speak... or where you just afraid?
"Heap" is apt then I guess. Yeah, I like my imaginary characters because plainly talking to you lot is about as interesting as a physics convention or a dot-art exibit. Well, at least it beats just shooting things for a living. Still even that's a job which is more than I bet most of you could dream of having... btw the cyber-cafe doesn't take food stamps anymore so you can cancel your accounts now... and stop stealing coffee from that guy next to you. Sneezing in it first does not add to your class... actually maybe it does... keep doing it then. The saddest bit is that the coolest, most famous person in the room is a tin-can with sunglasses and a fiery temper. Well, that about sums things up. I promise some day when I'm teaching your kids in college (that plainly they'll have to pay for themselves), I'll try to give them the hope you never could. You can have peace in that at least.
Your's oh so sincerely,
Doc_M

This was an easy one. I knew dotdude was the left and Mycroft was on the right. If you [edit]spent any time researching dotdude for his roast, you were bound to run into a picture of the dot art man himself. He's the guy with chicory in his beard.

I "graded" your quiz

1. What do you do when you are not at the computer?

• Paint - That figures
• Watch DVDs - Wow you don't leave the house?
• Attend movies - By yourself most likely
• Work Sudoku puzzles - Afraid of real math?
• Get together with friends - Free meals at the soup kitchen don't count as "get together with friends
• Dine at restaurants - Translation: Dig in the dumpsters behind restaurants
• Attend art presentations - Staring at the back tattoo of a tranny prostitute hardly counts as "attending art presentations"
• Attend Mac meetings - ...
• Visit art museums/exhibitions - You already said that, but then again you probably don't have much going on in your life
• Take digital photos and videos - Draw "cave paintings" on the walls of the overpass you live under.
• Attend parties/receptions - Always the crasher never the invitee?
• Read books on art - Read...books...on...art. hmmm...fascinating

2. What is your favorite of your posted videos?

“MANtage” - you spelled "MANspooge" wrong

3. How many avatars have you had since being a member? What were (are) they?

Ten
• dot art – levee break waves
• dot art – 40 shades of blue
• dot art – green Chinese lion
• dot art – purple design from plaster relief
• dot art – leopard-like patterns
• dot art – eye shapes orange on black
• rainy windshield photo
• Dutch Alley blur
• pond goldfish photo
• Chinese dragon float profile photo (current one)
^Just can't quite encapsulate your mediocrity through visual aids, eh?

4. What non-self-involved site do you visit most often?

Apple Movie Trailers - To look at coming attractions nobody will ever invite you to see

5. If you had a time machine would you keep it clean?

Clean?!? What does that mean?!? - You know, clean like how you feel after your bimonthly dip in the sewers

6. What is your ratio of pairs of shoes to underwear?

1: 21 - Make that 1/2 : 1

7. Is that underwear boxer, brief, or birthday?

Boxers - Women's panties

8. Do you run a Mac OS, Windows, or Linux?

Mac OS - Coincidently Mac & Cheese is your main source of nutrition too

9. Would you most prefer to be involved in a monumental one-of-a-kind hiking expedition, working on a breakthrough cure for a debilitating illness, or presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data?

presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data - Pretending to have a girlfriend while dry humping his semen encrusted matress

10. What is your favorite ice cream topping? Favorite (non-ice-cream-related) spice?

Topping – chocolate syrup - By the time you get to the ice cream, it's already melted
Spice - saffron - Dried eucalyptus leaves

11. Are you a tits, ass, or legs man?

Yes - Translation: "I'm desparate"

12. What kind of pet(s) do you have? Include name(s).

Used to have cats:

Red (orange tabby) - killed and ate it
Storm (gray tabby with white socks – picked out Spring 1991 during Desert Storm) - Road kill that you found and dragged around on a leash for the summer of '91
Pierre (peppered fur mix) - Make believe animal that keeps me company during those lonely nights

13. What kind of pelt(s) do you have? Include name(s).

None. However, a former girlfriend brought me The Australian Lucky Pouch when she returned from her trip her trip Down Under. - Hahahaha! girlfriend...that's rich

14. What is your favorite kind of soup?

Turtle with a splash of sherry - Whatever's being served at the shelter

15. What is your most frequented source of news?

WWL Radio - 2 week old newspapers that you use to wipe your ass

16. What is your beverage (poison) of choice?

Iced Tea - "...you know how I know you're gay?"

17. Have you ever been arrested?

No. - The Phantom Pooper still hasn't been caught

18. What’s your go-to move for making a good first impression?

Get a person talking about her/himself and pray its not over my head. - Try not to get close enough to the person to be smelled

19. How would you describe your coif: bangs, balding or rug?

Thinning - HAHAHAHAHA

20. Is your face clean-shaven or do you have a beard, a goatee or a mustache?

Beard - Translation: I can't afford a razor

21. List your five most cherished possessions.

• House - Cardboard box
• Volvo - Shopping Cart
• Mac - & Cheese
• Camera - Old crayon or feces drawn on walls and sidewalks
• DVD player - "I can't play it, cause I don't have a TV but it sure is pretty and it'll score me a couple crack rocks"

22. What religion, if any, did you practice as a child?

Roman Catholicism - suppressed memories

23. What about now?

Same. - Translation: I do to little boys what was done to me

24. What is your favorite memory?

Surprise trip to Disneyworld even though us kids were told to pack for Gulfport, MS - Finding a quarter on the ground

25. What was your favorite childhood television show?

“Speed Racer” - It was really "My Little Pony"

26. How would you describe your personal style/sense of fashion/taste for life/artistic flair?

personal style – put my stamp on what I do - Translation: I fart wherever I am
sense of fashion – I like color, except the days I prefer black - "OH, woe is me I'm such a DEEP artist type"
taste for life – take time to appreciate whom I’m with, where I am and what I’m doing - Translation: Sit in an alcove yelling at people who don't give me spare change
artistic flair – experimentation and reinvention - Translation: Crap nobody will like and stealing other people's work

27. What is a reason not to go to Burning Man?

I already live in a hot climate. - No transportation, no friends, no car, no water, you're missing a shoe

28. Who is your favorite Sift Hero?

Fedquip - Translation: Rottenseed

29. Do you have any image(s) of yourself online that you're willing to share?

‘Will link shortly. - "uh...er...well you see is, I'm horribly disfigured and I hope everybody will forget about this question"

30. What goal to you have while a Videosift member?

Contribute to the “good of the order.” - Find somebody that'll love me for the stinky, poor, pseudo-artist I am

31. Do you upvote comments more for their originality, sense of humor, or self-deprecation?

I upvote on impulse, PERIOD. - "I can't read."

Painting in New Orleans? Talk about putting lipstick on a pig! But isn't that just like someone from Nawlins? It figures that this bourgeois, cappuccino grunge, "I'm so relevant," artist would live in New Orleans. It's the home of fine whine. Oh, they got their noses in the air and pinkies stuck out, but that's just to keep away from the stench of the rotting corpses they bury ABOVE GROUND and to let you know that they always have their hand out for your spare change. In fact, all their plans in that city start with someone else's money.

Oh, Dotdude might be a painter, but he's really practiced in the art of how to separate you from your cash. Home tours, dot art, Bourbon Street bar hopping, transvestite window standing, drawing caricatures of tourists near the Cafe du Monde . . . what a life. Hang around here Dot . . . maybe some real class will rub off on you. Of course if you ever did get that close we'd have to go disinfect.

And now for the rest of the story . . . The ANSWERS to all things dot . . .

1. What do you do when you are not at the computer?

• Paint
• Watch DVDs
• Attend movies
• Work Sudoku puzzles
• Get together with friends
• Dine at restaurants
• Attend art presentations
• Attend Mac meetings
• Visit art museums/exhibitions
• Take digital photos and videos
• Attend parties/receptions
• Read books on art

2. What is your favorite of your posted videos?

“MANtage”

3. How many avatars have you had since being a member? What were (are) they?

Ten
• dot art – levee break waves
• dot art – 40 shades of blue
• dot art – green Chinese lion
• dot art – purple design from plaster relief
• dot art – leopard-like patterns
• dot art – eye shapes orange on black
• rainy windshield photo
• Dutch Alley blur
• pond goldfish photo
• Chinese dragon float profile photo (current one)

4. What non-self-involved site do you visit most often?

Apple Movie Trailers

5. If you had a time machine would you keep it clean?

Clean?!? What does that mean?!?

6. What is your ratio of pairs of shoes to underwear?

1: 21

7. Is that underwear boxer, brief, or birthday?

Boxers

8. Do you run a Mac OS, Windows, or Linux?

Mac OS

9. Would you most prefer to be involved in a monumental one-of-a-kind hiking expedition, working on a breakthrough cure for a debilitating illness, or presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data?

presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data

10. What is your favorite ice cream topping? Favorite (non-ice-cream-related) spice?

Topping – chocolate syrup
Spice - saffron

11. Are you a tits, ass, or legs man?

Yes

12. What kind of pet(s) do you have? Include name(s).

Used to have cats:

Red (orange tabby)
Storm (gray tabby with white socks – picked out Spring 1991 during Desert Storm)
Pierre (peppered fur mix)

13. What kind of pelt(s) do you have? Include name(s).

None. However, a former girlfriend brought me The Australian Lucky Pouch when she returned from her trip her trip Down Under.

14. What is your favorite kind of soup?

Turtle with a splash of sherry

15. What is your most frequented source of news?

WWL Radio

16. What is your beverage (poison) of choice?

Iced Tea

17. Have you ever been arrested?

No.

18. What’s your go-to move for making a good first impression?

Get a person talking about her/himself and pray its not over my head.

19. How would you describe your coif: bangs, balding or rug?

Thinning

20. Is your face clean-shaven or do you have a beard, a goatee or a mustache?

Beard

21. List your five most cherished possessions.

• House
• Volvo
• Mac
• Camera
• DVD player

22. What religion, if any, did you practice as a child?

Roman Catholicism

23. What about now?

Same.

24. What is your favorite memory?

Surprise trip to Disneyworld even though us kids were told to pack for Gulfport, MS

25. What was your favorite childhood television show?

“Speed Racer”

26. How would you describe your personal style/sense of fashion/taste for life/artistic flair?

personal style – put my stamp on what I do
sense of fashion – I like color, except the days I prefer black
taste for life – take time to appreciate whom I’m with, where I am and what I’m doing
artistic flair – experimentation and reinvention

27. What is a reason not to go to Burning Man?

I already live in a hot climate.

28. Who is your favorite Sift Hero?

Fedquip

29. Do you have any image(s) of yourself online that you're willing to share?

‘Will link shortly.

30. What goal to you have while a Videosift member?

Contribute to the “good of the order.”

31. Do you upvote comments more for their originality, sense of humor, or self-deprecation?

I upvote on impulse, PERIOD.


Answer you that!

Tags for this video have been changed from 'foreigners,jonathan ross,bbc' to 'drifting king,afro samurai,dot art' - edited by persephone

Don't you get it? Dots? Who in VS would appreciate Dot art? Imagine passing around the b-day card at work for folks to sign sort of thing. It's a "sift-card" so-to-speak to him, and boy did you just sign it.

None of my Flickr dot artwork photos show up on VideoSift. I even tried again tonight. The only photos that do were taken on a rainy day last August. I took them from inside my car, which was sitting in my driveway. I’m still not sure which direction I aimed my camera to get the shot for my current avatar. Here are the seven shots from that day:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/moart/sets/72157600219041677/show/

And here’s video recorded with the same camera:

http://www.vimeo.com/clip:140610

For those asking about the “dot art”, here are the last 26. Half of them now belong to other people. I’m working on the next batch today. I sold one just last Sunday at an outdoor exhibit.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/moart/sets/72157600036057775/show/