May 15 2007, according to Wikipedia, is a day in which absolutely nothing of note occured. No great social or cultural events happened on that day, no great battles were fought. There was however one notable death on that day; the carbuncle on the ass of humanity formerly known as Jerry Falwell spit out his last piece of hateful, small-minded poisonous rhetoric on that day, and for one glorious moment, we here at Videosift joined with the whole world in celebrating the lifting of this burden. It was a brief and beautiful time, and then along came Kulpims. It is entirely appropriate that this no-good pathetic excuse of a person chose that day to sully this once great community here at Videosift with his presence. We have been worse off ever since.

Roman Novak hails from Slovenia, which for you geography-challenged Americans is not the same as Slovakia. Well, it is mostly, except that at least Slovakia has a (half) decent Hockey team. Your RoastMASTER, therealblankman lives in Vancouver, which as most of you know is currently hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics. Slovenia sent all their top athletes here to compete... both of them. Roman is not one of those people. His greatest athletic achievement was being crowned champion bong packer of his village in late 1997. Actually come to think of it that would qualify him as a world-champion snowboarder as well, but I digress,

You'll notice by Sifting through Roman's comments (http://www.videosift.com/search?q=&t=c&u=kulpims&o&vmin&vmax&sh&l&n&b&submit=Search&pg=1) that he's an insufferable whiner, entirely in keeping with his national character. The Slovenian cross-country ski team has recently complained that the course at Whistler is unsafe after one of their "athletes" fell and broke four ribs. Seriously, he broke his ribs while skiing CROSS-COUNTRY! In unrelated news, Roman is currently hemorrhaging to death on his couch from a Cheetos related paper cut, though he claims to not know what Cheetos are. Frankly you just can’t believe anything a stoner like this loser says.

Roman manages the unpopulated and unpopular backwater channel “Wings” at Videosift. Look through the postings there and you’ll find innumerable videos about his at first seemingly unrelated hobbies of flying without the use of an airplane and something he refers to as “Skeet, skeet, skeet”. I’m really not sure just what the hell he’s referring to, but I refuse to look that shit up on Urbandictionary.com.

If you're looking for further information on our subject, or just looking for a supply of shit to throw, have a look at his videos and other posts over here at his profile http://www.videosift.com/member/kulpims. He also wasted our time completely by filling out a quick Roast survey at the Roast Announcement post here http://parody.videosift.com/talk/ANNOUNCING-THE-ROAST-OF-KULPIMS-Saturday-Feb-20.

So without further ado, I set you animals free to feast upon the soon to be drained and desiccated corpse of our very own Kulpims. You can ravage him with funny and with facts, or with BS and lies, but whatever you have to say, don’t bore the man. He doesn’t have long to live, after all.