Hey cat, you think static is bad, wait until you experience an explosion near your genitals!

If I could vote on my own salary, you could bet your genitals that I'd be there to have my say and furthermore you could be sure I wouldn't vote for less money.
And if I received that salary wether I show up for work every day or not, I'd spend much more time at home masturbating to my favourite Teletubbies video.

Maybe that's a problem. Maybe some people shouldn't be able to control the terms of their own employment that much. I certainly can't.

Since it's bad for productivity if their personnel keeps "analysing" pornographic pictures, GHCQ gives preferential treatment to pictures with faces in 'em.

So to increase your chances of remaining undetected, your webcam should be pointed at your genitals -- and you should be nude. Just like Chatroulette.

Well, it has been confirmed: GHCQ is indiscriminatly vacuuming webcam footage as well.

Remember when folks said that meta data doesn't bother them, it's not as if they were being spied upon when they're at home, naked? It's not as if they'll mind this time...

Ironically, being naked in front of your webcam might be the way to avoid ending up in their database.

"The documents also chronicle GCHQ's sustained struggle to keep the large store of sexually explicit imagery collected by Optic Nerve away from the eyes of its staff"

Peeping toms and wankers, the lot of 'em. So in order to have a private video chat, just use the chatroulette method and focus the camera on your genitals.

Since high volts and very low amps generally won't kill you (or burn off your genitals or anything), I'd slightly disagree with the EIA channel.

Maybe the sift needs a *PIA channel (Pavlov in Action) -- although it took 2 jolts for the first and second guy to be "conditioned" into the conclusion that perhaps this isn't the best idea.

http://videosift.com/video/Jon-Lajoie-Show-Me-Your-Genitals

Yeah, that's pretty interesting. You should check out some reflexology.. shit is insane.

this video's interesting because the man's entire body is flexed. He must be limiting, or at least minimizing, any movement of his upper body so thoroughly that every muscle is taut. Can't imagine the kind of stress/workout that this generates, but he could just as easily get it 10 feet off the ground (though not nearly as scenic).

>> ^Enzoblue:

Quick something I learned about balance. Your feet and toes have a lot of movement that is very important for standing/walking balance obviously. The problem is that we wear shoes all the time. With years and years of limiting this movement in our feet, the neural brain maps of our feet tend to gell together into one blob. So much so that we eventually lose that movement and that's why you see old people moving their feet like they're useless stumps.
I remember back in the day they used to always hire native americans for high-rise construction work because they had an insane sense of balance. I always assumed it was some evolutionary trait, but I think now it's because they only wore shoes when they had to, like for school etc, and had great motion in their feet.
So if your balance sucks, start going barefoot. Your brain will reverse the trend and start recognizing the different parts of your feet again. I learned this from a neurology book about Edward Taub.
I also learned that the neural map of your feet is physically adjacent to the neural map of your genital area. This is why chicks dig the toe play. Science rules.

Quick something I learned about balance. Your feet and toes have a lot of movement that is very important for standing/walking balance obviously. The problem is that we wear shoes all the time. With years and years of limiting this movement in our feet, the neural brain maps of our feet tend to gell together into one blob. So much so that we eventually lose that movement and that's why you see old people moving their feet like they're useless stumps.

I remember back in the day they used to always hire native americans for high-rise construction work because they had an insane sense of balance. I always assumed it was some evolutionary trait, but I think now it's because they only wore shoes when they had to, like for school etc, and had great motion in their feet.

So if your balance sucks, start going barefoot. Your brain will reverse the trend and start recognizing the different parts of your feet again. I learned this from a neurology book about Edward Taub.
I also learned that the neural map of your feet is physically adjacent to the neural map of your genital area. This is why chicks dig the toe play. Science rules.

blankfist: There is no perfect system; no utopia; but I could certainly point to democracy in countries like the US, Canada, England and France as being far superior to the kingdoms and fiefdoms of centuries past. You have yet to provide any comparable examples for your own beliefs. On the contrary, I have plenty of examples of 'market' love for violence, unemployment, exploitation and corruption. The above story is one of them.

Genji: Name me one successful, modern civilization without a government. Society, government, economies, art and culture are all very much intertwined. They are absolutely linked. I'm not sure what point you were going for with that comment. And what's with the insults? Nutter? QM? Why the cheap rhetoric?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Society

joedirt: there is a difference between arguing against a particular wrong carried out by a government and arguing against the concept of government itself. Sorry to disappoint, but I have no desire to fondle your genitals now or ever.

>> ^ElessarJD:
I see a lot of people on this site (and liberals in general) use the phrase teabagger. I thought tea party people and conservatives were suppose to be "ignorant" and stereotype groups of people? I lean more towards liberal ideals myself, but I also try to be reasonable. Name calling is not reasonable. In healthy opposition there are typically valid points to both sides. Don't resort to childish remarks simply because you do not like someone's viewpoint.
Keep in mind this man doesn't represent the entire tea party. Thinking that would be stereotyping.


That's a really good point, and I'm glad you brought it up. Almost anyone can be said to be guilty of this at one point or another and we forget how frustrating it is when it's thrown back in our faces. It's definitely something that we all have a hard time remembering when we're doing it to someone else, and getting a reminder every once in a while is a good thing.

However...

I'd really like to mention something that's important when it comes to this particular group of people. There are those of us here on the sift that remember when this political movement started. And it's hard to forget the laughter it induced. See, when the first videos were pulled off the internet and posted here, members of the "Tea Party" (which in and of itself is offensive to many students of history) were constantly referring to THEMSELVES as "Tea Baggers". It actually took a few weeks before the whole thing could get under control and they could all agree on what to call themselves.

Now, I know it's also an asshole tactic to bring up something from the past when someone might have made a legitimate mistake like calling themselves a "Teabagger". But let's not forget, this is a group that claims to be made up of all types of Americans, when over time, it's pretty much been shown to be made up mostly of "old white people". Exactly the sort of people who would be out of touch enough with popular culture that they would use slang for rubbing your genitals on someone's face to describe themselves. I'd also like to point out that some of them STILL describe themselves this way even after the majority has caught on.

All in all, it's very telling. And I gotta admit, it cracks me up now that they deny like crazy that they ever called themselves Teabaggers. We all know they did.

np!

In reply to this comment by calvados:
Thanks Looris!

In reply to this comment by looris:
*promote

Thanks Looris!

In reply to this comment by looris:
*promote

>> ^alien_concept:
>> ^bananafone:
he makes a very erudite comment about gender equality, but immediately undermines that by suggesting there's something wrong with men who like to cook.
Fuck you James May.

I'm not sure he was being quite serious about that, at least, I hope not!


Pretty sure it was standard deadpan sarcasm.

>> ^bananafone:
he makes a very erudite comment about gender equality, but immediately undermines that by suggesting there's something wrong with men who like to cook.
Fuck you James May.


I'm not sure he was being quite serious about that, at least, I hope not!

Why should I waste my time roasting a man whose single greatest accomplishment will be leaving a tiny, bloated corpse in some eastern europe harbor?

I've known Roland for many years now and one thing that really stands out is .. hmm. In any case, since his suicide attempt, after the rape scandal, he has really been on the up and up and has played Mafia Wars on facebook more than anyone else, ever, ever. It's a good thing there's not real social aspect to that, since his "skills" in that aren't quite "maxed out". If you understod that, pat yourself on the shoulder you're in the cool crowd now. We're special.

Roland has no real accomplishments or talents, so it's hard to nail him on something - unlike his "walk in the park" with a 13 year old boy that one fateful evening in 2004 - but I digress. His utter lack of anything has led to a spiral of depression, that we have to stop before it leads to things like drugs and.. I suppose we're to late for that. Well, at least we have to close the borders of Slowenia so the "kulpims syndrome" hit the rest of us. Already, I see posters in here spouting angry things at the moon, crying in their deep psychosis. How could you people start this? @therealblankman I blame you for this atrocity. I would say "a pox on you", but you have to enjoy what little time you have left before the leprecy takes your genitals.

This isn't really a roast, it's an intervention to stop the sadness from spreading. And it's damn near impossible. Already, I'm nearly tearing up from it. I would weep for Roland, because of his sad life, but honestly I just don't care. Maybe, some day he will amount to something, but in that shithole of a country there's little chance for redemption.

Go to America, Roland, go there and improve on your life. Live up to the American Dream of slavery and hardship, increase your weekly salary to almost $10. Go, live, procreate with the wildlife. I believe in you, Jesus loves you, and stay the fuck out of Denmark, you hippie.