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Mom Reads Sexually Explicit School Library Book to Board

newtboy says...

This isn’t Afghanistan. Your infantile puritanical sexual hang ups aren’t law. I’ll say it again, if you want Shariah law, move to Afghanistan.

I read more risqué literature in 6th grade….granted my school had us reading at college level by then. What I know is that people who can’t handle this by high school are the ones with the problem. Southpark goes WAY farther, REN and Stimpy, on Nickelodeon, went WAY farther, Family Guy on Fox goes WAY farther. Not to mention the internet giving access to hard core German porn to any 7 year old means frank discussions about sex need to happen before they ever log on. If this mention of sex gets you in a tizzy, you are woefully unprepared for life in America.

Most high school kids are engaging in sex acts like those described…but you’re upset they might read about them? So delusional, bob.

Since you’ve never passed even a grade school creative writing class, you have no idea what is appropriate. In a high school college prep class, this is totally tame stuff.

You know it, everyone knows it except puritanical deviants who hate sex and incels who are afraid of sex or pissed at those who get to enjoy it.

bobknight33 said:

Should not be a high school book.

You know it Everyone knows it except deviants.

The Watermelon Joke That Saved Me After I Got Pulled Over

luxintenebris jokingly says...

moonsammy: great take. thumbs-up! crystalized my thoughts exactly!*

a couple of rules of comedy are 'know your audience' and [the joke] 'it has to be funny'. if there is no laugh, either you told it wrong, told it to the wrong person, or your wrong about it being funny. your audience is the final judge. not their duty to laff at your doody joke.

stukafox: okay [btw: the watermelon joke is very old] but not going w/the worst or nastiest, just with a few of old risqué ones.

novice is riding back to the convent w/the mother superior on their bicycles through the medieval section of the town. mother superior tells the novice "let's cut through this alleyway". the alley is long, rough and bumpy but the novice agrees. when they get back on the regular route the novice says, "that was new! I've never come that way before!" mother superior says, "it's the cobblestones."

a woman notices her neighbor's tomatoes are fully ripening while her's are still green. she asks him "how do you get your tomatoes to ripen so quickly?" he tells her, "I get up around dawn while I'm still in my bathrobe and open it and flash them. they get so embarrassed they turn red." women tells him she's going to try it but later in the evening. the next day, the neighbor sees the woman and asks "so? did it work?" the woman turns to tell him, "no. it didn't - but YOU SHOULD SEE MY CUCUMBERS!

an old woman was talking w/her younger friend. old woman tells her about some of the older woman in town. "oh! don't let them fool you! they were pretty wild in their day! " then she went on and listed all the men a trio of sisters went through and each tête à tête they had. the list was shockingly impressive enough that the younger woman said, "gee...maybe they couldn't help themselves...maybe they suffered from a hereditary disease?" the old woman cocks her head back and eyes the younger woman then says, "hereditary? hell! yes! it was! it was IN THEIR JEANS!!!"



*david letterman

GUY! GUYS! C'mere! Look what I found!

a celebration of stand-up comedies best offensive jokes

vil says...

He downplayed the boys disabilities as coming down to just being ugly. Not true and kind of mean. Gabriel is a child after all. Thats like making fun of Justin Bieber or Hannah Montana. Wait. So this kid is performing publicly and cant handle mean comments? Really? If he is so fragile and cant laugh idiots off, dont make him do publicity stunts. Id say everybody got what they had coming.

Risque jokes are about the adrenalin of walking the edge, sometimes you just fall off (and get a fine, possibly, or a punch in your stupid face).

London Gets a Blowjob Cafe!

worthwords says...

Now that soho is about as risqué as a double decaff latte with cows milk (rather than soya), at least Praed street paddington has a good sexual health service specifically for prostitutes.

I really can't see this happening with the current laws. Brexit won't have a happy ending

Jim Jefferies on Bill Cosby and Rape Jokes

Chairman_woo says...

I guess that's where we differ.

I find it funny precisely because such things really happen.

In a world where no such cruelty exists, I think this kind of material would then become empty and pointless. Comedy thrives on the defiance of our misery.

I dare say it would get less of a laugh in Sweden for this very reason.

I'm clearly in the minority here, but then I suspect few people have developed the same sense of cynical detachment I have (working with the severely mentally I'll and dieing will do that to you).

The humour is definitely there, I guess you just need a suitably fucked up perspective to appreciate it.

Out of curiosity, did you find Jim's old bit about the child getting shot when he was in Iraq funny? I might suggest that is an even more cruel and fucked up situation than the subject matter being discussed here.

Would that only become funny when children are no longer victims of wars? Or is it funny precisely because of the incomprehensible cruelty and misfortune underlying it?

Perhaps you have an easier time detaching yourself from something that isn't as likely to happen to you? This seems reasonable, but I don't see how it precludes such material from being funny, only more challenging for one to engage with. (and thus more powerful if one can do so)

To bring in a thread from another reply "And this is the brilliance of Louis -- that he lays bare the humanity of even pedophiles. The truth of pedophiles."

In what sense is Jim not doing the same thing here? He is flippantly exploring Cosby's desire to victimise women, we all have desires and sometimes act on those impulses when we shouldn't.
Rape is an extreme example, but the thought process is ultimately the same thing writ large. "I want a thing I can't have, but I'm doing it anyway".
I might argue he is laying bare the universal human condition in just the same way, albeit with something closer to home for most people than paedophilia.

Presumably it's the other thread that's proving challenging, i.e. the masochistic idea of enjoying ones abuse? And again, there is something deeply fucked up at the heat of the human condition here. Deriving pleasure from victim hood, or having messed up priorities about fame and opportunity.
Stockholm syndrome, abused partners loving their spouses, groupies allowing themselves to be abused just to be near their idols.

We are really that fucked up as a species sometimes, cognitive dissonance is almost a way of life for most of us in our own little ways. It's clearly a deeply risque subject, but there is something dark at the core of the human condition there none the less.

The actual victims don't need to have the kind of mixed up priorities Jim is alluding to, we only have to recognise that we posses the capacity for that dissonance ourselves. (The joke being at the expense of our own inherent hypocrisies, not specific victims)

The only big difference I can really see is that child rape is much rarer than the kind being discussed here. (and thus I suppose easier for most to detach themselves from)

Is it really any less horrific? Surely if anything it is far more terrible for most victims and usually seems to cause more damage to their lives.

How does Louis's material on Child rape remain funny in a world where children are raped, yet Jim's material about women being raped only become funny in a world where they do not get raped?

Paedophiles have a culture too. They form groups, exchange materials, praise each others work etc. etc. Not to mention grooming rings and other such reprehensible things.

I understand that a particular subject can strike too close to home, but for me that was my failing to rise above my own fears and traumas. When I finally got to a place where I could laugh at my own victim hood, it was one of the most liberating experiences of my life. (Don't get me wrong, that shit never completely goes away)

bareboards2 said:

@Chairman_woo

If you read my original comment, that says it all about how I feel about this particular "rape joke."

It'll get funny when we don't live in a world where women are fingered while passed out and teenage boys take video of the assault instead of stopping it. Like those Swedish bicyclists did.

Maybe these jokes are funnier in Sweden, where sexual assault isn't the norm.

Jim Jefferies on Bill Cosby and Rape Jokes

Jinx says...

When they said he "can't make jokes about rape" what they perhaps meant was "he can't make _jokes_ about rape".

Its dangerous ground. Not saying it shouldn't be walked on, but if you go there with the kind of self-righteous free-speech stuff it always fails to amuse me. I know your joke is offensive. I heard it. When you tell me how offended some ppl were it just sounds like a boast, and don't that sour the whole thing a bit? I mean, maybe I'd feel differently if I thought any controversy was in danger of censoring his material rather than fueling it.

but w/e. No accounting for taste. People still occasionally link me Ahmed the Dead Terrorist, and while that is certainly less risque than the whole rape thing it is a total deal breaker. It's just before "using momentarily to describe something as occurring imminently rather than as something that will be occurring for only a moment" and after "sleeping with my best friend". pet peeves innit.

Cameron Gunn- Southern Winds

Two women and cup? Nah. Four men and a cello

The Insane True Story Behind '50 Shades of Grey'

poolcleaner says...

I'm pretty sure I have dozens of more interesting, risque stories with better plots hosted at literotica. One of which may involve Dr. Strangelove's post-nuclear fallout harem.

Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love BDSM

Who Knew These Guys Were In So Many Movies

ctrlaltbleach says...

Here are the Lyrics in French

Mon pote I think translates to my hommie or my buddy or dude.

[Flynt]
Mon pote c'est mon suisse même s'il a pas d'oseille
C'est ma ganache, ma gueule mais il me ressemble pas
C'est mon frère mais on a pas été porté par les mêmes bras
C'est mon srab, c'est sûrement pas lui qui me dénoncera
Mon pote c'est mon gros mais c'est pas Pierre Ménès
Il ne casse pas de sucre sur mon dos
Il peut supporter l'OM et si ça l'aide je mentirais à sa femme sans problème
Si mon pote vient d'loin, lui ou bien ses darons
Noir, blanc, jaune ou marron, ça fait d'moi un ignorant d'moins
J'attends pas d'toi que tu me cires les pompes
Ce sera pas à cause de ta franchise si je coupe les ponts
J'te mettrais pas dans mes embrouilles et si je faisais l'con
J'te demanderais pas de rappliquer avec une pelle en pleine nuit sans poser d'questions
Mais s'il le faut ramène-moi à la maison
Si je pars en vrille please ramène-moi à la raison
On peut être en désaccord, on peut se prendre la tête
Pourtant y'aura toujours une part pour toi dans mon assiette
Mon pote n'hurle pas avec les loups
On ne lave pas le linge sale en public mais entre nous
C'est pas toujours le bon vent qui amène mon pote
J'cautionne pas toujours la façon dont il se comporte
J'aimerais pas apprendre qu'il m'a trahi ou qu'il complote
Ça enterrerait nos relations même si elles sont fortes
J'ai pas scellé mon sort au sien, pour moi les choses sont claires
Mon pote c'est mon vieux mais c'est pas mon père
J'aimerais qu'il le reste longtemps alors j'évite d'immiscer
Entre lui et moi l'argent, les femmes et tout c'qui pourrait nous diviser

[Orelsan]
Mon pote a pas toujours été là
Trop longtemps mon meilleur pote c'était moi
Mon pote squatte à la maison, on passe des nuits blanches
On refait l'monde, on s'entend même dans les silences
Mon pote répond toujours à mes coups d'fil
Qu'on s'appelle toutes les heures ou toutes les douze piges
J'peux tout lui faire comprendre avec un sourcil
Au bord de l'explosion mon pote c'est la goupille
Où j'suis beaucoup d'gens mélangent potes et groupies
Mais j'ai compris la trahison depuis Rox et Rouky
Mon pote essaie pas d'plaire à tout prix
Fait pas semblant d'bouger la tête quand j'fais des couplets pourris
Fin d'soirée, toujours un coin d'canapé
Ma caisse est pas dans l'fossé parce qu'il garde la clef
Rien nous sépare même les grosses sommes
On élève pas les cochons mais on a soulevé quelques cochonnes
Mon pote rabaisse personne pour se mettre en valeur
C'est mon reflet, nous briser c'est risqué 7 ans d'malheur
Mon pote n'est pas une bête en chaleur
Et j'peux dormir tranquille le soir où j'lui présente ma soeur
Fidèle en amitié
Si j'ai plus les pieds sur terre mon pote me rappelle les lois d'la gravité
Toujours prêt, toujours le premier à rappliquer
En cas d'coup dur où pour une partie d'Play
C'est mon antidépresseur, mon lexo, mes amis n'sont pas tous des héros
En pratique on a tous nos défauts
Si un jour dans ma vie j'oubliais d'être réglo
J'réécouterais ce morceau comme une sorte de mémo

[Flynt & Orelsan]
C'est pour mon pote de 20 ans
Pour mon pote de maintenant
C'est mon pote dégueulasse et mon pote pimpant
Pour mon pote le plus vilain
Pour mon pote le plus con
Pour mon pote terre à terre
Pour mon pote sur Pluton
C'est pour mon pote tchatcheur et mon pote dyslexique
Mon pote à qui ma pote a dit non mais qui persiste
Pour mon pote chômeur, mon pote qui travaille
Pour mon pote kickeur, mon pote qui rappe mal
Mon pote boxeur, mon pote pianiste
Mon pote manutentionnaire, mon pote artiste
Mon pote crochet, mon pote Roger
Mon pote qui squatte chez un pote et qui a pas d'projet
Mon pote en costume, mon pote en coste-la
Mon pote qui vit à la campagne

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