Oh yes you could.

Oh yes, siftbot, lick me with that silver tongue. Run your sifting buds up and down my tuffs of fur. Yes! I like it JUST like that. Make that coat shine. Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Can you perhaps lick my genitals next? It has been some time since I washed them and I have an interview tomorrow. Mama always said, "Never go into an interview a smelly pussy."

My reaction would be to make the sea lion my new pet.

I would take him home in my car, fill up my bathtub, dump him in, and then go to Petco and buy him some dog food, a sea lion sized collar and a little dog bone shaped tag: printed on their patented pet tag machine!

I would name him after someone funny with a beard but with an ironic or silly prefix -- like Baby Gandalf or Mr. Bob Ross.

"How is my baby Mr. Bob Ross doing today? Aren't you a cute wittle baby Bobby Ross in your wittle bafftub? Oh yes you are!"

It would be so difficult to sleep because I'd be so excited that I have a sea lion for a pet!

I'd wake up SUPER early to see my new baby sea lion on his first night in my bathtub -- only to find him lying dead on the floor. I'll have inadvertently killed the cute litte sea lion -- and all because I wanted a new pet! And then I'd hang myself.

Oh yes, I'm quite aware of the fact that women in the U.S. (and other parts of the world as well) are programmed to be submissive and polite, to a fault. Smiling and saying 'No' is still no in my book, but there are plenty of idiots out there who don't really consider it a 'No' until she's macing you in the face and screaming it at the top of her lungs, anything less than that is still a maybe to them. But that is a problem with the conditioning of men, not women.
And for everyone's sake I hope that the instances of women falsely reporting rape is as rare as you say it is, because when that happens, it hurts everybody. For the record, I had a friend a few years back who was falsely accused by a woman he slept with, it never actually went into the legal system but she accused him personally.
I've heard the story of the woman held in to dorm room as well and it is an utter atrocity. But just as false accusations are probably rare, crimes of this magnitude are probably also the exception rather than the rule. Most rapes probably happen between two people who know each other, and everything happens behind closed doors so it becomes a big game of he said/she said, I don't envy the people who have to try and get to the truth in those situations.
I guess what I am concerned about is that with the weight of all those years of ignoring legitimate rape reports we will start falling all over ourselves to convict every guy at the merest hint of an accusation. And a guy who has been falsely accused/convicted of rape is every bit as much of a victim as a woman who has been raped.

Oh ye of little faith.

Oh yes finally! Been waiting for this for near a year

Oh yes!

Oh yes. I remember this. Awesome cover!!

"You rode that?"
"Yep, best 5 minutes of my life!"
"I don't believe you!"
"Here's a video of me on it."
"There's nothing but static."
"Oh yes... but there's exactly FIVE MINUTES of static."

Oh yes yes. I enjoyed this. I will listen to more of their stuff straight away!

Oh yes, I care not for those vampires.

This is more of an overly well mannered squirrel with low self esteem.

Really I should just take the peanut, oh golly, why don't I just. Oh nevermind I'll just. Hmmm, take the peanut? If only I were squirrel enough to take. Take the peanut? Oh my, oh Yes, I'll just. Take. The. PEANUT! ALLLL MIIINE.

Ahhhh, those good old pre-social media days. Had the pleasure of bringing a fat Motorola brick cellphone to my SATs. I remember calling home on this HUGE cellphone, feeling all cool -- people were impressed, man. And I mean, important people like chicks. Yesss, growing up during the transition period from "Internet is for dorks" to "Internet is for everybody" was cool, because my parents were techies and I got to be like, "I used Encarta 95 to do my school report."

And that meant debating teachers over its use as a legitimate source, versus the library. Which lead to me being that kid who won against the teacher. Thus chicks. Nerds win sometimes. Oh yes, they win.

OH YES!!!!
Suddenly this has gone from silly infantile attack to well deserved karma and clever lesson.
Now I want to upvote again.
My first upvote was purely for the mail legal, safe 'bomb' method, which I had never seen, now I can support the act as well.

Oh yes, I fully agree with you there, no need to escalate the situation as far as they let it go, and indeed impossible to tell what started the whole debacle in the first place.

My guess is bit of unjustified holier than thou attitude, which seems to be the curse of the current day and age, from the unimpaired audience. There's no justification for belligerent drunken behaviour, but neither is there for not doing anything about it until it is too late when there seems to be time and chance to de-escalate the situation by more peaceful means.

But, alas, it's all just guesses with the information available.