I think of Fozzie as more of a Digital Underground Humpty Hump type of character.

Salvia, fake, or just trying to hump his truck?

When you have multiple law schools packed to the brim and pumping out new lawyers every year, you have to expect that they are going to be looking for work once they hit the street.

If you have local tv, watch it during the day sometime. Every other commercial is a law office ad promoting themselves. Hurt in an accident, call me. Fall down some stairs at work, call me. Neighbor's dog humps yours, call me.

If we had a reasonable law on the books that made frivolous lawsuits riskier for the plaintiffs, there would be a cry from lawyers comparable to the mythical one from Alderaan. The sad thing is, we are so overflowing with lawyers that in many cases they cannot find jobs, but the schools still have waiting lists to get in.

Now I want to see an ant hump a hedgehog's leg.

I think I need help.

Good thing I don't work at Boston Dynamics, I'd have programmed one of those dog bots to start humping everyone's legs.

@Grimm
@ChaosEngine
@Sagemind

thanks guys!
thats exactly what i was looking for.
though i have to admit a particular curiosity in regards to what a "decent" or "living" wage would amount to,which is too specific for most people to actually state.

the reason i am so curious is because since 1978 i have been in the business in one capacity or another.i have been a captain at a few 5 star places.ran two 4 star ballrooms and have bartended at some of the most amazing clubs.

i worked very hard to learn the techniques and particulars of my trade.i learned from the best so i could be the best.started from the bottom,listened intently and learned the trade from some of the most talented people i had ever met.

so what am i worth? what would be considered a "living" wage?
the reason i say this,tongue firmly planted in cheek,is because when people find out how much i made they..and i am not exagerating here..literally lose their mind.

i did very well,but i worked my ass off to get it.
and i was worth every penny.
but i didnt just do it for the money...thats just...soulless and void of any meaning.i did it for the challenge.i did it for pride and knowing that the majority of people out there could not do what i do.
and i happen to enjoy meeting people:bonus!
love what you do and the money follows.

or did.

i recently left the business out of disgust.
maybe i am just getting too old and cranky but corporate eateries have douched the profession i adored for decades.

a corporate trained waiter/waitress is just one notch above useless.
i know i know..thats my experience and does not reflect on ALL servers but fuck that,i am old and i am free to bitch about the younger generation.

no pride.
no discipline.
just whining crying and more whining.
and god forbid you offer advice to these know-it-all wankers...
"well,when i was at olive garden"..oh fuck me....
only been in the biz for 30 plus years..yeah..what would i know..
just let grandpa hump the ten tops because you got double sat and are now in the "weeds".
fucking pussies...

gah..sorry for the ranting,but watching my profession go down the shitter is upsetting.

tipping is not mandatory in the states.
though if you are experiencing the "new wave" of servers,who i have seen openly give stink eye to customers,i can see why you may think otherwise.

i always looked at my profession as a sub-contractor.
my relationship is with my customer.THEY are my business and i treat them accordingly.you should not do this job strictly for the money.might as well go sell your soul and become a crack dealer...same difference.

ok..now i am just rambling.
suffice to say:
tipping is not mandatory.
new generation of servers are a gaggle of whiny non-conrtibuting pussies who think they know everything because they worked day shift at olive garden for a year.

and if ever offered minimum wage to do what i did,i would stab the person in the eye socket with a dirty ball point pen.

/end rant

folks i will be here every tuesday! dont forget to tip your bartenders and wai...oh....nevermind.

OK, I can understand that. I suppose the proper response depends on the level of assault, and maybe a little ass humping doesn't quite reach a level where violent response is required...until it escalates with a painful grab/thrust/grope.
If you didn't intend to make it an 'either/or' situation, I stand corrected, so long as violent response isn't just off the table when it IS warranted.
I totally agree, women (girls) should be taught to speak up loudly and instantly when this happens and it would cut down 99% of it (there will still be those few looking for that, or immune to embarrassment).

Now watch this disappear like Its other misconceived forays into Its frustrated and thwarted ego humping.

Don't worry, perhaps someone will preserve it as well.

I'm guessing these guys hump each other's pain away.
(not that there's anything wrong with that).

Waaaay better than Cracklemore-That wanna-be gangster schtick is a one-hit-wonder fart in the wind compared this cat's video. Personally love his humping the static television and blowing his gf's clothes off with the pelvic thrust.

Inspired shit Maynard

Could be worse. She could be immortalized on the internet humping a tree...

@Trancecoach I'd like to see a female equivalent (or worse) of the Rob Thicke video where he's fully clothed dancing around actually naked women doing things like:

Blowing smoke in their faces
Making them feign humping dogs
Holding little stop signs in their ass (because they want him to stop but he knows they want it)
Spelling out "Rob Thicke has a big dick" (clit? for the female version that doesn't exist as far as I know)

Not to mention the whole song is basically mirrors date rape and forcing yourself on women. http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2013/09/17/from-the-mouths-of-rapists-the-lyrics-of-robin-thickes-blurred-lines-and-real-life-rape/

Yeah... good luck finding something MORE poorly portrayed, as you put it, where men are featured.

p.s. here's a link to the video: http://vimeo.com/64611906

ALL-wingjob media needs semantics and critical-thinking lessons with a view to righteous, unfiltered, dissemination of information.

The "with us right now is a panel of agenda-motivated fuckheads disguised as experts' scenario that exist today and is represented in some of the most, traditionally-voted-for-on-band-wagon-drugs on THIS site, can dry-hump a spruce tree.

But this won't happen. The purpose by design of media is to saturate your minds with diversion after 'I-feel-passionate-about-this-subject' bullshit, is nothing but their usurping your mind to involve yourself in shit that matters-not in the grand scheme of the ass-raping you.