Nah, American beer and sex in a canoe are similar because they're both fucking close to water.

Obviously not American beer. That would sound like sex in a canoe.

So much cynicism in these comments.

Has it dawned on anyone that maybe, just maybe there may have been a gentleman, such as myself, that happened to have a canoe and offered it to the woman so as to help keep her dry and safe during her report?

I'm sure visibility and unfamiliarity with the area could have made it difficult to navigate possible curbs, potholes, electric eels and alligators.

Offering a canoe to a woman would be the equivalent of throwing your coat over a puddle so the lady could cross the street and not soil her spike heels.

How do any of you ever expect to get laid!?

Chivalry is dead.

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The island is 12 miles from the mainland. How does she get a 2-hour boat ride out of that? I guess if you are paddling a canoe.

*doublepromote the French version of a Baja bug.
I wonder if it can still float on two canoes.

What a great line:
"Like a little man in a canoe holding a barbell"

i am totally stealing the term "douche canoe" because that shit is epic.

i love videos of one giant douche canoe complaining about another giant douche canoe.

Sorry @newtboy, gotta downvote this one on the basis that Cenk is making a big deal out of nothing.

Michigan didn't make sodomy and oral sex illegal, it's ALREADY illegal in Michigan. (Hell, it was illegal to swear in front of women and children until 2002, when they were forced to repeal the law after a man fell out of a canoe, swore, got arrested, and then was represented by the ACLU.)

But here's the thing, the ban is unconstitutional and therefore, unenforceable.

Now, should it be removed? Of course.

However, the idea behind this bill was an amendment to the existing bill to create an animal abuser database, and the guy who proposed the bill (Republican Senator Rick Jones) decided that it simply wasn't worth the effort to fight to get this removed when it's already unconstitutional anyway.

In other words, he took a pragmatic approach to fixing an important issue (animal abuse) by ignoring something that doesn't matter (an unenforceable law).

To his credit, he actually suggested another bill that would automatically strike unconstitutional laws from the state (which kinda seems like something that should be happening anyway).

"The minute I cross that line and I start talking about the other stuff, I won’t even get another hearing. It’ll be done....
Nobody wants to touch it. I would rather not even bring up the topic, because I know what would happen. You’d get both sides screaming and you end up with a big fight that’s not needed because it’s unconstitutional." Rick Jones

http://www.inquisitr.com/2775741/michigan-was-not-trying-to-ban-sodomy-with-logans-law-it-was-simply-not-un-banning-it/

Yes, it's fucking stupid, but "fucking stupid" seems to be the defining trait of most of the US system of government (two party system, electoral college, tacking on stupid amendments, etc)

Open carry is the straw that breaks the bouncers' backs? Um, no. It's not suddenly Blazing Saddles here. If you're licensed to carry, most have enough common sense NOT to carry openly in our bars because drunks are temporarily or permanently dumb. The bouncers still fear the nut-jobs with knives, brass knuckles, and ice picks tucked into their boot - it's not about the weapon, it's about the person holding it. Once the mentally challenged get into the parking lot, all bets are off and whatever can be used as a weapon often is. Bat, chain, antenna, canoe paddle, road flare etc.

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This is elaborate, and very Canadian visual metaphor. The naked man represents the terror of divulging that which is most vulnerable while being intoxicated, while the tackle represents the motor coordination challenges while same. Asking for help to "bring it in" being a rejected cry for help. The canoe represents the territory of self, surrounded by the depth of the dark feelings.

It's a very basic Canadian mode of self-reflection.

So I understand, is "help me bring it in" really a stupid question?

I don't live in Canada nor do I own a canoe, so I'm not sure how Canodian etiquette works.

If you can stand in a canoe your not drunk, he was just getting the day started with a brunch beer.