It's a sad thing that many Americans' first introduction to Europe is Charles de Gaulle airport, which serves the same purpose in European transportation as Hell does in Christian theology. CDG is how France punishes Americans for telling World War 2 jokes.

When you're landing at CDG, the pilot says "We are now arriving at Charles de Gaulle Airport. Please prepare to weep tears of blood and rage." That's when you realize the scenes below of people running in circles and screaming in panic is just the line for passport control. It gets worse from there and differs from Dante's Inferno only in that Dante' got out within a single human lifetime.

(Story: I got lost in that place once -- and by 'once', I mean 'every single fucking time' -- and couldn't figure out how to get to the taxi stand. Since no one will give you help at CDG like no one will give you ice water in Hell, I approached this French military guy toting what looked a lot like a MP-5.

"Bonjour, Monsieur," I began, "je ne parle pas français; parlez-vous Anglais?" and I'm trying to scrape together enough of the infantile French I know into some semblance of "how the fuck do I get out of this failure of architectural design and vacancy of God's mercy to get a taxi?", which came out as "Taxi, S'il vous plaît?", probably much to my advantage.

The dude with the MP-5 gives me the Gallic stink-eye, shakes his head slowly, and then points directly up.

"Taxi -->" said the giant sign directly above his head.

"Ah, merci!" I said brightly while he, my mortified wife and pretty much the entire nation of France rolled their eyes.

I so fucking love France!)

Bonjour lucky!

I've fixed two videos today, first one I didn't get the PP and second one said I wouldn't because I had already had one today. Also no alert came from siftbot onto my profile, so not sure whether this is a new thing I hadn't picked up or whether it's a fault. Then I tried to post a talk and it wouldn't let me do that either.

Thanks for all your help!

Rachel

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Ah, merci beaucoup!! I'll relate this to @oritteropo. He wanted to know and asked me! <3
How are you, by the way? I still hope you'll come into the lounge one day and we'll laugh and speak of many amusing things, like testicles. Aren't they silly looking??
In reply to this comment by hpqp:
Never fear, your friendly neighbourhood frogspeaker's here!

girl: I could see you winning The Voice (French TV vocal talent contest show)

David: You'd see me winning The Voice, really?

girls: Yes. (short "really?" "yes" exchange)

David: And you, when you're older, would you go on The Voice?

girl: no.

David: Why?

girl: Because I'm already taken. (this was pretty garbled, so not 100% sure, but I think what makes the singer laugh is that the girl is implying that one goes on The Voice to get noticed and thus get a girl/boyfriend.)

David: *laughter* In any case, thank you, thank you for having said it (for having spoken your mind)


Voilà, hope this helped!



In reply to this comment by UsesProzac:
: Bonjour! Can you figure out what they're speaking in French in this link? It's the first video, first part. He's speaking to the two girls about something and I can't make out what the little girls are saying!

http://www.lecargo.org/spip/david-bartholome/session-387/article7896.< br /> html

Never fear, your friendly neighbourhood frogspeaker's here!

girl: I could see you winning The Voice (French TV vocal talent contest show)

David: You'd see me winning The Voice, really?

girls: Yes. (short "really?" "yes" exchange)

David: And you, when you're older, would you go on The Voice?

girl: no.

David: Why?

girl: Because I'm already taken. (this was pretty garbled, so not 100% sure, but I think what makes the singer laugh is that the girl is implying that one goes on The Voice to get noticed and thus get a girl/boyfriend.)

David: *laughter* In any case, thank you, thank you for having said it (for having spoken your mind)


Voilà, hope this helped!



In reply to this comment by UsesProzac:
: Bonjour! Can you figure out what they're speaking in French in this link? It's the first video, first part. He's speaking to the two girls about something and I can't make out what the little girls are saying!

http://www.lecargo.org/spip/david-bartholome/session-387/article7896.
html

Bonjour! Can you figure out what they're speaking in French in this link? It's the first video, first part. He's speaking to the two girls about something and I can't make out what the little girls are saying!

http://www.lecargo.org/spip/david-bartholome/session-387/article7896.html

Another ironic thing about the French?

They have a reputation for being rude and arrogant. They also are extremely polite, as I learned when I tried to buy some bottled water from a street vendor in Paris, which my creaky never-very-good high school French. I spoke "French", he answered in English. So I said -- oh, you could tell from my bad accent that I am American.

He replied -- no, you didn't say "please." He was then embarrassed by his truthfulness, and tried to apologize, but I just agreed with him. Americans don't say "please" or "thank you."

It's true -- for all their rudeness and arrogance, it is always "s'il vous plait." And "bonjour, madame" and "au revoir, monsieur" when entering and leaving the small shops.

There are none so blind as those who will not see, ya? Or rather, oui?


>> ^9547bis:

>> ^Diogenes:
trying to speak french as a foreign language in france is incredibly frustrating
no matter how much you've studied and practiced, your best efforts are met with, at best, disdain (no that's not a stereotype) - heh heh

Which is quite ironic, since few people are as careless regarding their accent and grammar when speaking English as the French. I'm having meetings or conference calls that include French participants every other week or so, and it can be quite painful, to the point of being fascinating (how can you sound so bad and yet not notice?).

I had to check this out -- found these on a language forum

"Bonjour
We usually say "du papier-toilette" , or in a more trivial way "PQ" ( i do not know why exactly...) "

"PQ = Papier Q = Papier cul."

Google translate says that "cul" means "ass." Which explains this post: "[W]hen I was 8 and I told my teacher :' y'a plus de PQ dans les toilettes" and she reprimanded me..."

"A long time ago, PQ was used as the abbreviation for the Province of Quebec. I wonder if the widespread use of PQ for toilet paper had anything to do with changing the abbreviation for the province. "

Oh, the things I learn from the Sift...


>> ^hpqp:

Get this classy show out of the pqueue now!
(random factoid of the day: "pqueue" is also French slang for toilet paper)<--not sarcasm