If you watch some of the other pieces of media this bearded douche has appeared in, you would know he is just as bigoted as he appears.

I find new wave feminists to be rather hypocritical. All feminists should really just be humanists. Equal rights for all, not special treatment just for women.

So...I go to John Lewis if I'm an old man who wants to look at little girls through a telescope?


The Man in the Moon had silver shoon
And his beard was of silver thread;
He was girt with pure gold and inaureoled
With gold about his head.
Clad in silken robe in his great white globe
He opened an ivory door
With a crystal key, and in secrecy
He stole o'er a shadowy floor;

Down a filigree stair of spidery hair
He slipped in gleaming haste,
And laughing with glee to be merry and free
He swiftly earthward raced.
He was tired of his pearls and diamond twirls;
Of his pallid minaret
Dizzy and white at its lunar height
In a world of silver set;

And adventured this peril for ruby and beryl
And emerald and sapphire,
And all lustrous gems for new diadems,
Or to blazon his pale attire.
He was lonely too with nothing to do
But to stare at the golden world,
Or to strain at the hum that would distantly come
As it gaily past him whirled;

And at plenilune in his argent moon
He had wearily longed for Fire-
Not the limpid lights of wan selenites,
But a red terrestrial pyre
With impurpurate glows of crimson and rose
And leaping orange tongue;
For great seas of blues and the passionate hues
When a dancing dawn is young;

For the meadowy ways like chrysophrase
By winding Yare and Nen.
How he longed for the mirth of the populous Earth
And the sanguine blood of men;
And coveted song and laughter long
And viands hot and wine,
Eating pearly cakes of light snowflakes
And drinking thin moonshine.

He twinkled his feet as he thought of the meat,
Of the punch and the peppery brew,
Till he tripped unaware on his slanting stair,
And fell like meteors do;
As the whickering sparks in splashing arcs
Of stars blown down like rain
From his laddery path took a foaming bath
In the ocean of Almain;

And began to think, lest he melt and stink,
What in the moon to do,
When a Yarmouth boat found him far afloat,
To the mazement of the crew
Caught in their net all shimmering wet
In a phosphorescent sheen
Of bluey whites and opal lights
And delicate liquid green

With the morning fish — 'twas his regal wish —
They packed him to Norwich town,
To get warm on gin in a Norfolk inn,
And dry his watery gown.
Though St. Peter's knell waked many a bell
In the city's ringing towers
To shout the news of his lunatic cruise
In the early morning hours,

No hearths were laid, not a breakfast made,
And no one would sell him gems;
He found ashes for fire, and his gay desire
For choruses and brave anthems
Met snores instead with all Norfolk abed,
And his round heart nearly broke,
More empty and cold than above of old,
Till he bartered his fairy cloak

With a half waked cook for a kitchen nook,
And his belt of gold for a smile,
And a priceless jewel for a bowl of gruel,
A sample cold and vile
Of the proud plum porridge of Anglian Norwich —
He arrived much too soon
For unusual guests on adventurous quests
From the Mountains of the Moon.

My reaction would be to make the sea lion my new pet.

I would take him home in my car, fill up my bathtub, dump him in, and then go to Petco and buy him some dog food, a sea lion sized collar and a little dog bone shaped tag: printed on their patented pet tag machine!

I would name him after someone funny with a beard but with an ironic or silly prefix -- like Baby Gandalf or Mr. Bob Ross.

"How is my baby Mr. Bob Ross doing today? Aren't you a cute wittle baby Bobby Ross in your wittle bafftub? Oh yes you are!"

It would be so difficult to sleep because I'd be so excited that I have a sea lion for a pet!

I'd wake up SUPER early to see my new baby sea lion on his first night in my bathtub -- only to find him lying dead on the floor. I'll have inadvertently killed the cute litte sea lion -- and all because I wanted a new pet! And then I'd hang myself.

It's so weird seeing Vin Diesel with facial hair.

But actually I thought it looks better than I expected. The only thing I knew about this was from a picture of him with that beard, and from knowing it somehow was inspired by D&D.

Huh, she's a good sport. Did that feel scripted? That's what I expected but she seemed genuinely improvising and rolling with it.

I'm willing to bet creepy bearded guy didn't recognize her from looking at her music videos a lot...

That was a pretty thick beard for a 5 year old to have.

There are definitely people that look better one way or the other. A groomed beard can cover up features that are less than appealing. It's not bad to try to make yourself look better although I'd say obsessing about your looks is a problem. Find a look that suits you and run with it.
I wonder how many guys they had to film before they found one that looked good before and after and also got good responses from family.

I swear that 'kid' has a beard!!!

I went down to a number 1 razor beard trim once so my wife could see what it did to the shape of my face (basically stubble).

The words "Never again" and "Holy shit" came out more than a few times.

I keep my beard on because it softens my face, without it I look a bit younger, but my chin leaves me looking kinda harsh (my neutral expression goes from "bored" to "angry" imo).

Plus...

http://videosift.com/video/If-your-dad-doesn-t-have-a-beard-you-ve-got-two-mums

Well, I've got a beard not dissimilar to the guy in the video. I've known my wife since I was fourteen ad only really started growing a beard well into my twenties so she's definitely seen me without it.

She prefers me with 'designer stubble' rather than a beard, but it's just a case of her rather I have the stubble, not that she doesn't love me any more or any bollox like that. Physical appearance isn't irrelevant but it's definitely not important I didn't marry her for how she looks and she has her hair how she likes it and I have mine how I like it.

I married a woman I love for who she is, not for what she looks like and vice versa. I don't know why anyone would marry someone if them changing their hair style would be enough to stop loving them. That's not love, not even close.

My beard is staying, because I like it. Even though my wife would rather it was just stubble. Besides, I hear that men who shave their beards also shave their vaginas...

This is some next level advertising. A great video, evoking a rather intense emotional response to associate a communal life experience with a particular brand. It's the worst, but it's also the best.

Thanks to all the commentors for relating their experiences. I have no wife but recently grew a beard. I'm happy for people to have a different experience of my face but worried my future wife might like it too much and not like my shaved face. Maybe that's not really important...

To be honest, though, if I had been married to a woman with beautiful, long hair, for 7 years, and then she decided to shave it all off, I'd be pretty miffed as well. I might not vocalize it, but I'd certainly not feel good about it. Shaving off a beard drastically changes a man's appearence, and when your wife has never seen you without it, I can very well understand a negative reaction.

Edit: just to add, the shaving of the beard/hair being deliberate would play a large role in my reaction being negative. If the hairloss is unintentional, I would react with sympathy.

I did think about that, but the lack of response by the camera man to the fall made me think 'setup'. If it was someone filming because they think a bearded transvestite is funny to see, I would expect raucous laughter and uncontrolled camera movement when the fall happened, but there was nothing.
That said, it did seem like a real fall, but it's easy to let yourself really fall just like that when wearing high heals...I know from experience! ;-)

Because she says 'no one's going to help' doesn't mean there's really someone there to help (besides the camera man, who she completely ignores).
The fact that he completely ignores the person closest to her and obviously paying attention to her is the best indication of 'setup' to me...but the short dress with no underwear, no attempt at all to hide the penis, and a beard were good 'tips' as well. ;-)

*nsfw, *ftw
18 - in his *teens and already a full beard?

It's basically the same as assault to do anything to that majestic beard.