I WANT MY MONEY BACK!

If there's going to be a fart in a video, I want a pavement-cracking ripper louder than a ship's horn. I want a blast radius. I want weeping men and shrieking women. I want people 200 miles downwind to think Bhopal fucked Chernobyl and the offspring came blasting out of that woman's ass like The Four Horsemen riding out of Hell. I want sermons written about it. I want it commemorated in legends as epic as a Viking saga and as long-lived as The Canterbury Tales. I want it spoke of only in whispers. I want the Alpha Centuri LIGO to peg so hard that the aliens look at it and mutter, "Ohhhhhh, fuck..."

This was none of those.

This wasn't a full-on fart, it was an asterisks on a turd. This was a "tee-hee" fart, not a "OH JESUS FUCK -- EVACUATE THE WEST COAST AND CALL THE ARMY!" butt-blast. I'd be ashamed to call this one of my own; I'd wrap it in a blanket and dump it in front of the SPD station down the street so our Boys in Blue could take one look at it, sadly shake their heads, and forswear their sacred duty by tossing it in a dumpster.

Mordhaus, you promised me a fart video and you gave me two monochromatic outcomes of butter and corn syrup consumption babbling on; waddling parentheses around a feeble "pbt".

SIR, I DEMAND BETTER OF MY FART VIDEOS AND I -WILL- SEE YOU IN COURT!!

(I farted)

Google Street View at same intersection.

https://ibb.co/kS64jdf

Congratulations! Your video, Lightning Strikes Same Street Light 11 Times, has reached the #1 spot in the current Top 15 New Videos listing. This is a very difficult thing to accomplish but you managed to pull it off. For your contribution you have been awarded 2 Power Points.

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Your video, Lightning Strikes Same Street Light 11 Times, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

This achievement has earned you your "Pop Star" Level 542 Badge!

Oh no....Trump backing racist right wing terrorists Proud Boys and other far right violent groups are rioting in the streets of Portland, shooting pepper ball guns, spraying bear mace, shooting guns, shooting large fireworks at people, brawling with weapons, attacking press, and setting fires.

Police are standing back and have said publicly that except for life threatening incidents they won't even show up....giving tacit approval of the terrorists rioting. (Proud Boys are a right wing terrorist organization in case you missed it)

Trump's "good people" are now the ones "burning down cities". Own it.

People have had this type of discussion about lots of things, like washing hands (yes even doctors before operations), smoking cigarettes, or letting excrement flow down busy streets.

Now sometimes it wasnt easy, but if civilizations eventually built sewers and aqueducts maybe we can somehow stop spewing poisonous gasses into the air in large volumes.

Its difficult to find immediate motivation to act, especially for us self entitled pricks, I totally understand. I live over 300 meters above sea-level.

Those street poles are hired crisis actors.

Strange that it was hot enough to warp metal street poles but not start the asphalt on fire.

That's just fantasy. Name ONE TV cop shows that's not PR for the Blues? At best, I hope this clip serves as an instructional video for the IRL cops. At worst, it's pure whitewash.

I pretty much watch any type of TV BUT cops shows except the British ones and the mystery whodunit mini-series like the recent Mare of Easttown.

I'm extremely glad that I live in Canada, and I live in a Toronto suburb, I don't need to fear police officers because I don't see them walking beats on main streets, they're just usually in their cruisers and/or hiding around dark/down-hill intersections to catch speeding cars. But Toronto downtown is another story I think, I see the occational news reports of police harrassment of PoC just like those in the US. But far, far less fatal.

And now the swarms of locusts (ok, really grasshoppers) begin.

Utah farmers, already struggling with drought and extreme heat, are being plagued by grasshoppers destroying what little crops they managed to grow. Early heat caused an early hatch, leading to swarms. Many farmers abandoned their crops rather than go through the expense of spraying a crop they have no water for, allowing a bad situation to get exponentially worse. Hay may soon be in short supply along with produce.

If it's a mild winter, expect worse next year when their eggs hatch. Without improvement in the weather, colder in winter wetter in spring and cooler in summer, farmers nationwide expect next year to be far worse than this year's disastrous growing season. Nevada and Arizona are due to lose their main water source soon, and California expects more water shortages statewide as reservoirs near empty and aquifers go dry.

Sure sounds like the climatologists were correct, if anything minimizing the effects and rate of change from climate change; heat, drought, plagues, swarms, fires. They were not exaggerating them @bobknight33. These are exactly what they predicted, just a decade early, and exactly what you denied would happen. All time high local temperatures were reached worldwide in the last month including ground temperatures of 118 F in arctic Siberia and 130 F last weekend in Death Valley, the hottest atmospheric air temperature ever seen on the planet since humans existed.

But nope, climate change is a liberal hoax, they just have the entire planet lying to support it, destroying their own crops and cooking their citizens to keep the lie going. 🤦‍♂️

I hope you live long enough for your children to accept that their disastrous future was caused by you and your ilk and abandon you to the baking streets in your old age to starve and bake. You ignorant and dishonest deniers deserve worse for decimating the only planet we have. Your children will come to that conclusion, the only question is when.

I have to wonder how the survey was conducted. I know people being asked even dead simple questions unexpectedly can totally freeze. For example.

Sounds like he was trying to attract the Sesame Street demographic.

Saturday Satan, Sunday saint
Foolin' your neighbors
That's what you think
Readin' the good book
Singin' the hymns
Come Monday morning and it's back to a life of sin

Old brother Brown
All week he steals
Tells everyone
His big business deals
The deacon walks by
A dollar hits the plate
Tryin' to buy himself a ticket to the pearly gates

Old sister Rose
On the very first row
Been a-sittin' right there
Twenty years or so
Never hears a word
When the preacher speaks
Too busy talkin' bout the bad girl down the street

Saturday Satan, Sunday saint
Foolin' your neighbors
Readin' the good book
Singin' the hymns
Come Monday mornin' and it's back to a life of sin
This little song holds good advice
Though some people may
Think it ain't too nice
Well, if you're one
Who's wearing the shoes
Well, there's somebody watchin' and he ain't nobody's fool

Saturday Satan, Sunday saint
Foolin' your neighbors
Readin' the good book
Singin' the hymns
Come Monday mornin' and it's back to a life of sin
Come Monday mornin' and it's back to a life of sin