I have to say, a great effort here. Nice bit of AUSTRALIAN music to it too (The Avalanches... oh yeah baby). The DOF is superb and what gives this the real professional feel, and you are a deft hand at capturing nice little moments. Great editing too.

Huzzah for making the sifters look way cool.

Some highlights with translations:

"My degree is in enginering...that speaks to my practical and analytical side."

But my FROSTED side speaks to the deliciousness that is me! TENNIS anyone?

"When I'm not being my integrated self, I'm wallowing in the muck of my own secret hell just like everybody else."

I'm wallowing in the muck of my own secret hell for all to see online.

"But my parole office says I'm mostly done with that now."

I killed my parole officer.

"I'm a man with a big heart."

It's in a jar in my refrigerator labeled PAROEL OFFCER.

"I'm seeking a connection on many levels..."

Such as intercoursal, sexual and copulatical.

"Yeah baby."

Austin Powers and I own a timeshare in the 1990s.

"If you identify as a very good girl, then we would probably not be a very good fit."

If your remains can be identified, you're too risky to keep as a trophy.

"I'm a bit of a bad boy."

My mom thinks I'm cool.

"If we click, I'll probably challenge you and surprise you sexually."

I'm uncircumcised.

Yeah, baby.

In reply to this comment by uhohzombies:
*promote for epic win.

The lead singer, Saffron, is half chinese.
yeah baby!

Yeah, BABY!

Boy, am I late to the punch here. Still, I think I might be able to add something deconstructive here (uh, sure) so batter up...

1. Porn cultivates good relationships.

As was mentioned somewhere above in this giant mass of thread, it can be a nice addition to an existing relationship, to get the old mind-juices flowing and liven up the old sex life. Sort of like eating vanilla cake, but then eating the same vanilla cake for years, and then realizing you can put strawberries on it, and all of a sudden vanilla cake with strawberries is the best thing you've ever eaten.

2. Porn is for men who sincerely appreciate the beauty of the female body.

I'd agree that this is a myth, except that I don't know anyone who thinks this, and it misses the point. Porn is for getting yourself excited in that special way that makes you feel all warm inside when you don't have a person to get you all warm on the outside too. Among other things. Of course, sex is mainly mental to begin with, so appreciation of beautiful bodies helps.

3. Porn is harmless and it has no negative effect on the person using it.

I also drink alcohol and curse.

4. Strippers and porn stars lead glamorous lives, and men respect them.

Glamorous? Maybe on screen, but there's effort involved -- Porn is hard work, you know. I don't know any strippers or porn stars personally, so I can't say I respect or disrespect any of them. I'm trying to be funny here, but this "myth" is so far off base I'm having trouble linking it back to reality. Come on, throw me a bone here!

5. Men like variety in women so porn use helps a man stay faithful to his woman.

You know, I think you're getting your information from a questionable source. This list isn't "Common myths about porn," it's "lame excuses men tell their wives to justify watching porn in a sitcom." Though as a man, I do like variety, so I recommend roleplay. You know what I'm talking about; I've already explained that strawberry thing.

6. Women who get involved in the porn industry choose to do so, and they have valuable careers.

"Everybody needs money! That's why they call it money!"
Too bad I've only seen the first hour of The Heist. This one I can't really argue with, but only because it's true about every career. This has been pointed out above, but just like anything else, there's people who have a career and there's people who just have a job. Then there's people without a job, and without a career, and there's people who have tons of money and just drive around all day looking for things to throw money at, and now I'm completely off track.

7. Porn is an outlet or safety valve for men who would otherwise do Bad Things.

This is patently false. Everyone knows the safety valve for men who would otherwise do Bad Things is video games. Except it always goes HORRIBLY WRONG. And then students end up getting hurt because other students were playing those MURDER SIMULATORS all day. Won't anyone think of the children? Why does no-one listen to Jack Thompson!? Oh wait I'm off topic again.

8. Women who work in porn are empowered and sexually liberated.

Damn I'm having trouble making this stuff funny. You know what, I'm going to pass on this one.

9. Porn is just a fantasy and people do not apply it to real life.

Completely false. I watched a porn once where a guy has sex with three women in the span of fifteen minutes, but then the guy turns into a girl and the three women turn into a tiger, a monsterous tentacle beast, and a plant. Then the girl has to run away from the tiger, but she's trying to make out with the plant, and the tentacle beast is just busy eating popcorn. I know this is not fantasy because it happened to me when I was 19.

-----

So there you have it. As a bonus, since this thread is about porn myths, I feel it only appropriate to add a few of my own myths about porn that are harmful to people.

10. Sexual partners always climax at the same time, even if they've just met.

11. Sex is always satisfying, and everyone feels loads of sexual pleasure effortlessly.

12. Sex is always accompanied by an appropriate soundtrack.

13. The quality of any sexual act is directly proportional to the amount of noise both sexual partners make.

14. The only appropriate things to say during sex are "Give it to me," "Oh yeah baby," and "Yes, yes, yes." Moaning is also appropriate.

15. The best way to get a woman to sleep with you is to be a domineering asshole. Wait a minute...

So despite the fact that nobody will mistake me for a professional comedian, I've hopefully made you laugh just a bit. Because one of the best things to do when confronted with an emotionally charged topic (oh crap he's getting serious, why don't I have a dental appointment lined up) is to laugh at it a bit and take the edge off. Judging from previous replies to this thread, I think a bunch of Sifters already get it.

Since KP quoted me in the intro, I guess I'll have to share one more;

I will never call one of those sex lines again. I've always been curious about what goes on, so I called one the other night. A sexy girl answered the phone. She says "you ready to party?" I said, "Oh, yeah." She says, "get your dick out, got your dick out?" I said, "Oh, yeah baby," She says, "are you strokin' it good?" I said, "like crazy, what's next?" She says, "hang on a minute, your Mom wants to talk to you."

Yeah baby, the good stuff. I'm a big fan of glass-filled nylon myself. That and bakelite for nostalga's sake.

In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
Uh... not that I know of. Usually just ABS, polycarb, ploypro, polystyrene, polyethelene and an assortment of rubbers.


He he.. I said 'rubbers'....

In reply to this comment by schmawy:
How about PLA? The corn-starch stuff, ever worked with that?

In reply to this comment by MarineGunrock:
I think my job just got a whole lot more interesting.

How's the gig in Whitefish going? You raping their souls 6 nights a week?

In reply to this comment by dystopianfuturetoday:
Yeah, baby!

In reply to this comment by kronosposeidon:
*promote soul-raping

Yeah, baby!

In reply to this comment by kronosposeidon:
*promote soul-raping

Yeah baby, that's more like it

Mmm, ohh yeah baby... term paper extensions. Hohohohhohohhh.

Seriously, some of the extensions I've received felt better than some of the sex I've had.

Yeah baby!

I totally sniped it from KP, who pointed out that you were on the cusp of greatness, so he should get the credit!

In reply to this comment by Issykitty:
I was WONDERING how I got 501 star points! THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH, for that, and for the * promote, and for everything you do and everything you are - my very generous Schmawy-cat furriend!

In reply to this comment by siftbot:
Awarding Issykitty with one star point for this contribution to Sift Talk - declared quality by schmawy.

I was WONDERING how I got 501 star points! THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH, for that, and for the * promote, and for everything you do and everything you are - my very generous Schmawy-cat furriend!

In reply to this comment by siftbot:
Awarding Issykitty with one star point for this contribution to Sift Talk - declared quality by schmawy.