well, maybe should have tempered it a bit, 'cause was a bit disturbed about some of the things I've been reading...

1) https://news.yahoo.com/montana-lawmaker-suggested-she-d-182144655.html (some seriously sick stuff)

2)https://www.npr.org/2023/06/27/1184461263/iowa-meteorologist-harassment-climate-change-quits (loons being led by power lushing putz)

3)https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/jun/26/garth-brooks-texas-greg-abbott-twitter-booed-satire (the stupidity and pride in ignorance is stupefying. also being ass hurt that trans people like a (horrible) beer?! lord have mercy...ate at a steak house, at the same table 'W' used previously. didn't put me off enjoying the t-bone. or revisiting the place if'n was in the area again. *did make me think "G** D*** it! why did the waitress tell me that!*)

4) https://news.yahoo.com/6-dead-including-3-children-161756984.html red flag af & TN will do nill

5) https://www.vice.com/en/article/ak3kz5/moms-for-liberty-hitler-quote (MFL were more upset w/asscoation then the message. The lack of self-awareness & irony - unreal)

6) & too many women dying from the abortion ban(s). don't get killing the living for the unborn if the unborn are d.o.a. & take mom w/them. lunacy.

a couple of those are pushing the limit. the lack of benignancy being a value among the right - just - ain't - right.

bob the parrot's stormtrooper comment lit the fuse. my gawd. even people in the middle ages had a sense of genetics. greeks, 3k years ago, knew androgyny was a thing. so why can't bobo's buds not bone up on the idea of biology?

it's not a choice, but living well is.

To be fair, it did drone on just a bit.

(I’ll be here all week, tip your waitresses)

Ba-dum bum.
Tip your waitresses, folks.

ah,the days of being in a relationship with a woman,who loved painkilllers with her jug wine.

who would wake me up in the dead of the night,using the super heated metal tops of a bic lighter on the bottom of my feet (those are called "smileys" for those who do not know) to scream at me about some girl who had the audacity to look my way at target,because 3:30am is the time to find out if i am having sexual thoughts about random women.

or an earlier girlfriend whose father was a prominent artist in the country and was holding a weekend jazz festival.i had a customer who had cerebal palsy,and one leg had been amputated,whose boyfriend had just broke up with her and she was a wreck.

so i had this bright idea! why doesn't this poor emotional wreck of a woman come to the jazz festival of my girlfriends dad? that will get her mind off things right?

but,having a second person accompany made me a little late.so when i finally showed up,my girlfriend was already half in the bag,and mad.i tried to explain and introduce her to mary,the heartbroken girl.

and my girlfriend broke my nose with a bottle of michelob.i do not think she cared that mary was heart broken,and an utter wreck in need of human company.i could be wrong,this is just a guess,but the bleeding from my broken nose may have been a strong indicator.

or how about the time i was counseling a long time friend,who had pulled a midnight move out to escape a man who had basically had her trapped in a spare room,chaining her to the wall.that man had gone as far as severing her achilles tendons,after her first attempt to escape,and this woman suffered from a severe case of PTSD.

now she did form an almost childlike bond to me.maybe because i had offered her the first taste of true compassion,and offered her safety and comfort,and allowed her to talk the poison and bile out that had been building inside her for over three years.

but her attachment to me,which was to be expected,was not viewed favorably by my girlfriend.i spent a lot of time and attention in drawing this broken and damaged young woman to feel safe,and to begin to feel human again(which infuriated my girlfriend).my patio was always filled with friends,artists and people of interest,and i did my best to bring a normalcy to this young womans life in order to help her acclimate,and to feel human again.

and my girlfriend would come home,get drunk,and start to whisper the most vile.and disgusting things..not about this young woman,but about me.

which,of course,if you understand the mentality of an abuse victim.especially one who had suffered such as she had.any criticism,or perceived threat to the person who had (in their mind) saved them,will create incredible anger and anxiety.

so because of my girlfriends irrational jealousy of this woman,and in her drunken selfishness,she went out of her way to make this woman feel as uncomfortable,and as unsafe (the exact opposite of what i was trying to do).so much so that the young woman...who didn't want to be a burden,or affect my life in a negative way...left my home,and wrote me she would never come back,because she loved me and didnt want to cause problems.

two weeks later she was found dead in motel room.over dose of piankiller and xanax...and wrists slashed to ribbons.

or how about the time one of my girlfriends broke three of my ribs,because i was being kind to a waitress?

or the time another girlfriend stabbed me,because while she was unhappy with our relationship,she could not abide me talking to anyone who owned a vagina.in this case a fellow artist i was collaborating with,and who happened to be not only an amazing human being but beautiful as well.

or that one time,when i broke up with a girl,because it simply was not working out and she repeatedly rammed her ford fairmont station wagon into my brand new firebird?

oh..the stories i can tell about all my wonderful relationships,and the women i have shared portions of my life with.i could write a book...

and then i watch this video,and i am overcome with an urge to drive cross country to the creators home,walk inside,grab him by the ankles and crag him outsides....and beat him senseless.

because he is coming from a false premise.
he is implying the that the benefits of relationships outweigh he selective memory our brains create when reliving our moments of singlehood.

when the reality is this:as long as you have friends,who love and accept you for who you are,you are never actually single.you are surrounded and loved by an extended family.

i do not need a girlfriend.
i do not want a girlfriend.
i am not interested in getting married.
and as i have revealed here,i would prefer some memories to remain buried under the much happier and adoring memories of my actual friends who put up with my eccentricities,and my overall oddness,rather than deal with a woman who is smitten with the ideas fed to them by institutions,and periodicals such as comsopolitian and vogue.

though,ironically,i have two ex girlfriends living in my home as i write this.
one is a former porn star,and current stripper who suffers from paranoid schizophrenia,and is a recovering addict.

while the other i had to go do a midnight rescue from a place where she was renting a room,but the house was junkie house,and she is a recovering addict as well (and they also kept stealing everything from her).she has bought a house,but it needs work and that work is taking fooooooorever.

and BOTH of these women still harbor some residual feelings towards me.even though i have been quite clear,open and honest that i have ZERO interest in rekindling anything,with either of them,but that hasn't stopped them from being all catty with each other,and causing drama,and complaining about the smallest,tiniest and most ridiculous of things to bitch about.

at first i tried to play referee.
i did my best to help everyone get along,until i realized they both had no interest in getting along.they wanted to outdo the other in order to get my attention.

which is just.....dumb..but anyways,my new way of handling their insipid complaints is always this response:i don't care.

and it seems to work beautifully.

so there you have my story,or at least part of it.
and i have to say...this guy is kinda full of shit.

for those of you happily married,with a great partner,i salute you.good for you,and i mean that.

but for me?
no thanks.i am good.

Fuck me. We have finally come full circle.

20 years after Bill Hicks was asked "what you reading for?", the waffle waitresses have taken the stage.

One of the ugly side-effects of tipping that I didn't see mentioned above (though I didn't read all the comments), is that the waiter/waitress get pegged for anything that's wrong.

Meal cooked wrong? Bad food? It comes out of the tip. The chef still gets his/her full check even though they're at fault.

My thoughts on tipping...
I'll start off by saying that these come from a U.S. person.
It seems like older generations tip less or maybe it's as you get older you realize you need to hang onto your money more.
A piece of advice passed onto me that I believe in is that if you can't afford to tip then you shouldn't be going out.
I tend to tip 10% for fair / poor service, 15% for normal / expected, and 20% or more for good. Tip jar places, I'll give a buck most of the time and not a percentage and this is also true for pick up orders.
I'm not sure why, but even if I get shitty service, I still tip. I don't go back, but the message is that even without giving decent service you still get a tip and I don't agree with that so I need to stop tipping crap service.
The places I go to a lot, I tend to tip more because you get to know the people that work there and they are more apt to know what I want almost without asking.
I believe in tipping as an incentive system and don't think they should get rid of it.
Individual places set up how tips are distributed. I think it's old school places where the waitress (waiter) tips out the busboy and cook and whoever else helps them provide better service. This makes sense to me as incentive. Another method is the pooling of tips and splitting them out evenly. This doesn't make sense since someone may not carry their own weight and be rewarded for that. There are other methods to curb that behavior. Full Metal Jacket comes to mind. I think the business itself can take a cut of the tips which to me seems pretty lame unless the owners are actively providing service.
In Oregon, service people get minimum wage (no waiter wage) so with tips, you can actually make a really solid living.
I always thought the smartest people in this trade are the ones that work at high class joints. 20% of a 10$ tab is 2$, but 20% of a 100$ tab is 20$ and that's some payola for likely a comparable amount of service.
For the math challenged, an easy way to figure out ~20% is to take the first two digit of the tab, multiply by 2, and then move the decimal one to the left. So for a 56.78 bill... 56 * 2 = 112... 11.2 or 11.20 tip.

@Grimm
@ChaosEngine
@Sagemind

thanks guys!
thats exactly what i was looking for.
though i have to admit a particular curiosity in regards to what a "decent" or "living" wage would amount to,which is too specific for most people to actually state.

the reason i am so curious is because since 1978 i have been in the business in one capacity or another.i have been a captain at a few 5 star places.ran two 4 star ballrooms and have bartended at some of the most amazing clubs.

i worked very hard to learn the techniques and particulars of my trade.i learned from the best so i could be the best.started from the bottom,listened intently and learned the trade from some of the most talented people i had ever met.

so what am i worth? what would be considered a "living" wage?
the reason i say this,tongue firmly planted in cheek,is because when people find out how much i made they..and i am not exagerating here..literally lose their mind.

i did very well,but i worked my ass off to get it.
and i was worth every penny.
but i didnt just do it for the money...thats just...soulless and void of any meaning.i did it for the challenge.i did it for pride and knowing that the majority of people out there could not do what i do.
and i happen to enjoy meeting people:bonus!
love what you do and the money follows.

or did.

i recently left the business out of disgust.
maybe i am just getting too old and cranky but corporate eateries have douched the profession i adored for decades.

a corporate trained waiter/waitress is just one notch above useless.
i know i know..thats my experience and does not reflect on ALL servers but fuck that,i am old and i am free to bitch about the younger generation.

no pride.
no discipline.
just whining crying and more whining.
and god forbid you offer advice to these know-it-all wankers...
"well,when i was at olive garden"..oh fuck me....
only been in the biz for 30 plus years..yeah..what would i know..
just let grandpa hump the ten tops because you got double sat and are now in the "weeds".
fucking pussies...

gah..sorry for the ranting,but watching my profession go down the shitter is upsetting.

tipping is not mandatory in the states.
though if you are experiencing the "new wave" of servers,who i have seen openly give stink eye to customers,i can see why you may think otherwise.

i always looked at my profession as a sub-contractor.
my relationship is with my customer.THEY are my business and i treat them accordingly.you should not do this job strictly for the money.might as well go sell your soul and become a crack dealer...same difference.

ok..now i am just rambling.
suffice to say:
tipping is not mandatory.
new generation of servers are a gaggle of whiny non-conrtibuting pussies who think they know everything because they worked day shift at olive garden for a year.

and if ever offered minimum wage to do what i did,i would stab the person in the eye socket with a dirty ball point pen.

/end rant

folks i will be here every tuesday! dont forget to tip your bartenders and wai...oh....nevermind.

Mkay, quick and dirty...

"Thank you, thank you.

Boy, am I nervous.

Ok. What great times we live in: I used to work as a waitress, then a cleaner, then a disco dancer, then a dog's hairdresser... who would have thought that all these jobs would one day lead me onto this stage. But it's the best proof that today's audience is tolerant enough that even people like me get a chance.

My mother always told me to be creative, which drove me crazy as a kid, but now I get it. She was ahead of her time. Thank god she infused me with this mentality before she passed away."

Then she goes on to thank all sorts of people: Dr. Burda, her family, Caroline, Christina, Gabriela, Barbara, aunt Christel, uncle Heinz.

And she told Maxi to go to sleep.

@newtboy
"i know you are but what am i i"?

that had me cackling like a loon.bravo my friend.

please understand guys my comment is in reference to this particular thread,not any previous private or otherwise.

my commentary was also tongue-n-cheek and not to be taken too seriously.
i was poking the hornets nest...like a boss..who also happens to be a dick.

please forgive.

as for conflicting private to public messages.
well..that would infuriate me as well newt.you wont get an argument from me on that point.
that speaks to a persons character and integrity and explains a ton in regards to your attitude towards @chingalera.

our integrity is all we have.
when you take away everything,the only thing left we have to trade is our word.
our honor.
our respect for another human being.
when we lose that trust....we lose everything.

i do not know the particulars on how you all conversed in private.its none of my business and not my place to judge.

but if what you are saying is true newt (and i have no reason to believe it isnt.there is a past precedent in that regard) then i have to ask @chingalera why?

why say one thing in private and then another in public?
that is so disengenuious and un-necessary my man.
you make good solid points..often,and often i agree with them.
so why would invalidate them by interacting with such duplicity?

you cant call out newt for disregarding or dismissing your points because it was YOU who invalidated those points by your interactions with him.

and you know this.
dont act like you dont because i know your smarter than the average bear.so dont insult my intelligence by feigning innocence.

you owe newt an apology.period.

and dont prove @VoodooV right.we both were there when you flamed out and it was ugly.
and you made it ugly by taking it personal.
i never judged you for that..still dont.
but that does not mean i condoned how you played that closing scene out.
real people had real feelings hurt...including you.

now i realize this thread is destroyed and i dont even know who i need to apologize to.
so...
to the original poster:i am truly sorry for this tragic hi-jacking of your thread.

but it appears necessary.

@chingalera i realize that much of what you do is to shock people out of complacency.
to get them to perceive a situation with different goggles.
many times the weapons you use are confrontational language and a persistence that rivals the most glorious case of OCD.

those intentions are noble.
i agree and am of a similar mindset.this is probably why i can read choggie-speak with little trouble.

i understand what you are trying to do.

but how can you expect someone like @newtboy to listen to anything you have to say when you cant keep even basic correspondence open and honest?
it invalidates everything you attempt from then on out.
your words have to have the weight of your integrity behind them for them to have ANY impact.
you lose that and your words become dust.

sounds like you will have to work to gain the respect from @newtboy.i wish you well in that endeavour.

please understand i consider you a friend @chingalera and hearing this has upset me a great deal.

and @VoodooV,
you may be right brother.i do not know what the future brings.hopefully ching will prove you wrong.i know he could if he wanted.

but i disagree with keeping the riff raff out.
i dont mind confrontation or arguments.in fact i LOVE them and @chingalera has a talent for poking the hornets nest and shattering the monotone-vanilla-circle-jerk-clones into a frenzy.

and that my friend..is a good thing.

@chingalera keeps the locals buzzing,constantly challenging pre-concieved notions and ideologies and i love that fucker for that.he keeps this site interesting.his antics bring lurkers to actually comment/post and others who usually side-line to jump in.

all good things.

but...
i cannot abide the darker side.
the hurtful side.
maybe i am being naive'....i always see redemption for those who the entrenched masses see as unredeemable.i always feel i can save those who are truly lost.

i always see the human first and the actions last.

so you may be right.i just hope you are wrong.
maybe this thread will impact my friend and remind him we are all humans.

i dont know.........
i hope though...
i hope.

@ChaosEngine again,as i told newtboy,no argument here.
hopefully this derailed thread has cleared some air and brought the things to the table that needed to be discussed.

which from my viewpoint is about integrity.
you cant admonish people for being egocentric and then turn around and be egocentric yourself.
it weakens the very position you were trying to make in the first place.(ching,not you CE).
it is hypocritical.

i am a dissident.
a radical.
a subversive.
even to the church i am an apostate.
so i understand @chingalera on a certain level.he has never treated me other than a friend and compatriot.so it pains me to see how he deals with those he disagrees with,and just how far he will take a story to a painful conclusion.
this does not give be joy or pleasure.

he is a righteous dude.passionate,sensitive and creative and has soooo much to offer.
im sorry ya'all didnt get to see that side of him.
but maybe thats on him,because you all should.

there is a reason he has been invited back multiple times and its not because he whined about it but rather he truly is an exceptional human being.

maybe he should show that side more.
takes honesty and courage,but that boy has a huge capacity for that.

@chingalera
balls in your court brother.
what ya gonna do?

*note* for all those who read to this point.
cookies and milk will be served in the back storage room.
free fondlings for the ladies.
dont forget to tip your bartenders and waitresses!

http://www.mediaite.com/online/gay-waitress-who-publicized-homophobic-note-is-habitual-liar-according-to-friends/

My best friend in 9th grade was a compulsive liar -- my mom tried to warn me but it wasn't until she told a lie that was easily proven false that I confronted her. Why would you lie to me, I asked. "I just wanted to say something interesting."

This woman seems to have that same pathological problem, and found a way to profit from it, too. When I first saw this story, I thought it was false -- something about it didn't ring true. Too copycat, with the whole Wounded Warrior veneer to boot.

I suspect she is perfectly okay with being exposed -- because if she wants to be "interesting", even at the expense of interpersonal relationships, man, has she ever reached her goal.

I love Carlin and I love his insight and comedy, but I don't take him that seriously.

By that I mean that I take his comments as a challenge. Not a challenge to debate him on facts - yes all sorts of people have made all kinds of bad decisions. Politicians, corporations, individuals, gangs, clubs, schools, you, me, your friends and my friends have all made all sorts of bad hypocritical immoral backwards ass actions that have maimed, destroyed, burned, polluted, hurt, deprived and desecrated.

Yet I am not willing to give into the cynicism and contempt some fellow sifters do about the world and people around me. I can't look at any of the above and say any are perfect or that any are evil.

I believe that Steve Pinker is right - while we are still violent we are statistically less violent.

I look at what Bill Gates is doing.

I look at the "toys" we have, and the art we are making.

I watch two young guys go give waitresses $200 tips.

Maybe what is circling the drain is all that SHIT we do. All that bad stuff making a slow, but eventual, exit.

It's my understanding that if (after their claimed tips) a server's hourly wage doesn't add up to the minimum, then the employer has to make up the difference. Maybe this varies state by state?

In all my years working in restaurants this has never come up though, since servers almost always make more on average than most line cooks. And certainly more than any min wage dishwasher busting his ass scrubbing pots in the heat all day. Not to mention that there is a large chunk of tips servers just keep as cash in their pocket and never claim.

I'm not saying servers don't have it rough. And I generally tip on the heavy side when I go out. All I can say is, I have never heard a waitress say she wished she was a cook.

If you can afford to go out and eat you surely can afford to tip your waiters and waitresses well. -rant

...and good song btw.