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bobknight33 (Member Profile)

Color video of Albert Einstein actually explaining E=mc2

luxintenebris jokingly says...

at least it is not in person.

a squirrel dropped out of a tree and landed on the hard dirt in front of myself & a friend. it then* quickly srambled up a nearby tree.

the friend then explain why the squirrel wasn't hurt. went off on a soliloquy** on terminal velocity. after he was finished told him...

"that wasn't the question i would have asked. i want to know why it fell. we just trimmed that tree, so did the squirrel try to make a longer leap or just - out of habit - jump to a phantom limb?"

we just stared at each other for a while.


*swear it made an 'eep' sound when it landed. like a dog toy.
**i sure wasn't listening

BSR said:

You're just showing off now. Just trying to make me look stupit.

When the packaging is worth more than the product...

luxintenebris says...

was having a fine nap when the lady-of-the-house 'called out', "what the hell did you buy!"

stumbling out to see what the fuss was...thinking "sure, its a large whiteboard but hardly anything to get excited about"...soon understood the concern.

it was in a box the size that could enclose a kegerator! EX: https://tinyurl.com/3bz34rtn thought "this has to be a mistake."

nope. it fit in the very bottom of the container w/nothing else to buffer its shipment.

after the disappointment of not being a kegerator, or a mis-fulfillment of a dozen profitable whiteboards, the kids used the box as a toy car.

KrazyKat42 said:

I've gotten Amazon packages like this before.
Well, not that bad.

Men's quick reaction saves kid

My Humps - Teletubbies Edition

BSR (Member Profile)

K&P: The weirdest post-game interview of all time

Removal of Asian giant hornet 'murder hornet' nest

StukaFox says...

Right after Jackass came out, a couple of friends-of-a-friend decided to stage their own version of the movie -- with a hornet's nest. They found the thing hanging from a tree at the edge of a field and it was not remotely on the small size. Also, this was in late August and the queen had already flown away, leaving the drones to slowly starve to death. Thus, the enormous number of stripey-stripey sting-stings were already good 'n' pissed-off.

They were about to get moreso.

So chowderhead A and chowderhead B have a brilliant plan: they're going to shoot this enormous ball full of astoundingly-irate murderous insects with a shotgun while they're filming it. If you're hearing banjos playing and luke-warm cheap beers being cracked open, you're about in the right frame of mind.

Places, everybody!

The stage is set: on one end, at what's decided to be "minimum safe distance", are our erstwhile David Attenborough/Jonny Knoxville knock-offs. At a decidedly NOT minimum safe distance away is the arthropod version of the T'sar Bomba. All we're missing now is a Mossberg, enough idiocy to think this can end any way but badly, and a camera. With far too much alacrity for what's about to happen, all three are provided.

Aaaaaand, ACTION!

* BOOOM! *

At first, surprisingly, nothing happens. This period of stasis lasts roughly a picosecond. Then, unsurprisingly, things start to happen and they happen far more quickly than the Chuckle Brothers planned on. This plays out in three acts:

Act 1: "Hey, uh, why is the nest still there?"
Act 2: "Uh-oh..."
Act 3: "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!"

Hubris takes many forms, and schadenfreude takes twice as many, but both combined were statistically zero compared to the number of hornets involved in this fiasco. Had the two Mensa escapees who irked said hornets thought this thing through -- stop laughing -- perhaps they would have arrived at the conclusion that 1. a shotgun slug is not the preferred load-out when dealing with a ball made out of wasp puke and 2. being the only two things visible within a 20 mile radius of the ball made out of wasp puke pretty much negates the mystery of who the hornets are going to sting the ever-loving fuck out of.

With their plans in ruins and the nest not, our heroes decide to quit the field. This is the first smart thing they've done since looking at that big ball of wasps and deciding it was redolent with untapped hilarity. The hornets are having none of this white flag nonsense, however, and they decide to quit screwing around and really inflict some pain. It's a quarter mile back to the car and the hornets are going to make them pay for every inch of it.

The final score:
Hornet losses: meh, they were all going to die in a few weeks anyway.
The chucklenuts: 23 stings, a dropped shotgun, and three minutes of footage that they took in the pre-YouTube era and thus is lost to time.

Moral:
Hornets are not toys.

Optimus Prime is finally among us

Epic self-transforming self-moving Optimus Prime

Dad embarrasses daughter using teen slang

newtboy says...

Show up at his work dressed in your absolute sluttiest outfit and makeup looking for Daddy...tell every co worker who you mean, and give him a big sloppy kiss when you find him. Bring the taser, spark it over and over saying you've got a fun toy for later tonight. See who's embarrassed then. Turnabout is absolutely fair play.

Squirrel jumps on UPS delivery man

luxintenebris jokingly says...

i surmise another theory.

red (its nickname) is voting blue, mistaken UPS for USPS - squirrels scan too fast (do the same): misread - and was making sure his absentee ballot had arrived.

red reckoned the blunder then rapidly retreated.

or maybe the order from 'nest, birdbath and beyond' was due.

no. the owner/tenant likely feeds the damn thing and its gotten bold. the females here do the same. live in fear that if COVID doesn't get me, rabies or bubonic plague will. they approach any departure like rodent paparazzi (not really much of a differential from the 'regular' paparazzi). the kid left a toy van 'neath a tree; immediately thought the bastards were changing tactics. NO! it's not paranoia! you saw want they did to that USPS guy!

((((they watch from the trees!!!))))

BSR said:

Damn Squirrel. Probably voted for Trump.

Mordhaus (Member Profile)

siftbot says...

Congratulations! Your video, toy piano test, has reached the #1 spot in the current Top 15 New Videos listing. This is a very difficult thing to accomplish but you managed to pull it off. For your contribution you have been awarded 2 Power Points.

This achievement has earned you your "Golden One" Level 516 Badge!

Mordhaus (Member Profile)

Mordhaus (Member Profile)

siftbot says...

Congratulations! Your video, Dog Mistakes Furry Hood for a toy, has reached the #1 spot in the current Top 15 New Videos listing. This is a very difficult thing to accomplish but you managed to pull it off. For your contribution you have been awarded 2 Power Points.

This achievement has earned you your "Golden One" Level 512 Badge!



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