well, i found the dupe but the original sifted video is dead, so not sure what to do.. http://www.videosift.com/video/Stop-touching-me

absolutely amazing. amazing amazing amazing. This really touches me because I grew up with a Rottweiler....except he was an aggressive guard dog and bit me twice. Once on the head. I still loved him though. Thats Russia for you! Low expectations

thanks for your support man.
that poem is....intimate..to me.
i am an utter hack,but one who cant stop doing what i do.
and what julie did for me really touched me.
she took a meh piece of work and made it so much better.
i am grateful for having people like that in my life,
and you..ya big toothy teddy bear.
thank you very much.

Awww...Schmawy. That touched me. Not only in the naughty bits, but in the heart as well.

Thanks for being so awesome.

In reply to this comment by schmawy:
Wait, Ivy's a girl? Goes to show you never know on the internet. Many consiftulations you are a real piece of sass and a sure boon to Siftlandia!

I had the good fortune to have a night of coctails with Ivy and PeggedBea recently, and I can assure you she's no different in meatspace. I saw her wit slash right through complete stranger and send them away laughing. At themselves.

I like so many others, am delighted you are here.

"It's like I woke up on Christmas morning after a sleepless night of excitement only to have my father shit in my mouth and touch me in the "no-no" spot before telling me Santa Claus isn't real and I don't have shit under the tree."

Geebus! If that's the way you feel when a PC delivery gets delayed by a day or two I'd HATE to know what you do if something of actual import happened.

You know... like if someone pissed in your ass gravy or something.

A winters day
In a deep and dark december;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
Ive built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
Its laughter and its loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Dont talk of love,
But Ive heard the words before;
Its sleeping in my memory.
I wont disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

wait, what about the one you had where charlie and leah both discovered how bad they wanted to touch me? i think a years worth of double grope followed until i made them both cry.

hey... wanna go on a a date?

In reply to this comment by inflatablevagina:


that was the worst party i ever had.

Why is it so easy to manipulate currency and ruin peoples lives..... 134 billion US? What the fuck.

If this is what gets caught... imagine what is fully protected and never found out about. Or better yet, "Legal".

Here's a short song i just wrote. Make up your own tune and give me credit.

Time to get HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH

World Conspiracy
can't touch me
cause my drug
grows for free.

I love you. Please touch me.

i believe it started when he took over the man show with joe rogan and those 2 douches ran it into the ground.

sometimes i will think hes funny, but more in like the creepy uncle who drinks too much at the family reunion and wants to look up your skirt, but hes still completely aware that it makes him a disgusting prick. and then you can have fantastic, insightful, brilliant, inspiring conversations with your sad uncle, but he still REALLY wants feels you up on your 21st birthday. i find him more sad than funny. his material touches me more as a cry for help than as irony. if it makes you feel any better, i do hate joe rogan much much much more than doug stanhope.

oh, and hate is a strong word. used more for emphasis than descriptive quality.

In reply to this comment by thinker247:
Why do you hate Doug Stanhope? </curiosity>

In reply to this comment by peggedbea:
at least this guy is self aware enough to hate himself as much as i hate him

I think my first exposure to Nietzsche was a little dual paperback with "The Antichrist" and "Beyond Good and Evil" and it really changed my life, one of the few books that really touched me.

>> ^JohnnyMackers:
Not gonna be a popular viewpoint, but I reckon she probably got what was coming to her.
People forget that cops are only human, and trying to do a job. Cue little shits who were never disciplined at home pushing them too far.
We saw her kick shoes at the cops, and take up a "You can't touch me" pose. Wanna bet she was being mouthy as hell too? Thinking she was untouchable and could use the cop as a punchingbag to talk shit at, and vent her frustration at outrageously being arrested for breaking the law.
But yeah, FUCKDAPOLICE, OMG POLICE STATE! etc etc. One cop losing his temper =/= the whole goddamn force. Get real.


No excuse.

And I'm terribly sry but "only human" is fucking bullsht and you know it. Ever been booked doing 2 km's over the speed limit? Ever had a raid go through your house at 4am in the middle of winter because an "anonymous tip"/cranky neighbour said there was marijuana dealing going on there? (note: there wasn't but we were treated like shit, not allowed to get a drink or use the bathroom for the 2 hours they tore our house to pieces).

Yeah, they have a tough job and I'm sure somedays really suck, but when you are a custodian of the law you are held to a higher fucking standard, not a lesser one...

Lock him up in gen pop, let's see what a tough guy he is when it's not 15 year old girls having a go at him...

>> ^JohnnyMackers:
Not gonna be a popular viewpoint, but I reckon she probably got what was coming to her.
People forget that cops are only human, and trying to do a job. Cue little shits who were never disciplined at home pushing them too far.
We saw her kick shoes at the cops, and take up a "You can't touch me" pose. Wanna bet she was being mouthy as hell too? Thinking she was untouchable and could use the cop as a punchingbag to talk shit at, and vent her frustration at outrageously being arrested for breaking the law.
But yeah, FUCKDAPOLICE, OMG POLICE STATE! etc etc. One cop losing his temper =/= the whole goddamn force. Get real.


Its a 180lb GROWN MAN against a 80lb GIRL for fuck sake.
Are you for real ?

There is no justification at all for a guy hitting a girl, let alone this fucked up situation.
Cop should of just shut the door, there was ZERO reason to do that, even if it was a 25 yr old dude doing that, it would still be way too far.

Fling your shoe at a cop, get your face smashed into a wall, pulled to the floor by your hair, and knocked out.

Fucked up.

>> ^JohnnyMackers:
Not gonna be a popular viewpoint, but I reckon she probably got what was coming to her.
People forget that cops are only human, and trying to do a job. Cue little shits who were never disciplined at home pushing them too far.
We saw her kick shoes at the cops, and take up a "You can't touch me" pose. Wanna bet she was being mouthy as hell too? Thinking she was untouchable and could use the cop as a punchingbag to talk shit at, and vent her frustration at outrageously being arrested for breaking the law.
But yeah, FUCKDAPOLICE, OMG POLICE STATE! etc etc. One cop losing his temper =/= the whole goddamn force. Get real.


So your justification for him LITERALLY BEATING A LITTLE GIRL SENSELESSLY TO THE POINT OF UNCONSCIOUSNESS, is justified by her SWEARING AT THEM, AND KICKING HER SHOES AT THEM? Do you still beat your children when they dis obey? Do you understand that HE IS BIGGER THEN SHE IS? It would have been very easy for him to subdue her without harming here, in fact he is trained to just that, or do the practical thing, CLOSE THE FUCKING CELL DOOR!

You tried to make up for the disgusting things you said by saying, 'i know im not going with the popular view point but...', but that just wont cut it this time. There is nothing you can say that will justify violence from a dominate figure, especially since the officer, was much more violent then the girl could even have dreamed of being herself.

'get real', you say, we are real, and we see in our reality, police officers beating up young girls.

Not gonna be a popular viewpoint, but I reckon she probably got what was coming to her.

People forget that cops are only human, and trying to do a job. Cue little shits who were never disciplined at home pushing them too far.

We saw her kick shoes at the cops, and take up a "You can't touch me" pose. Wanna bet she was being mouthy as hell too? Thinking she was untouchable and could use the cop as a punchingbag to talk shit at, and vent her frustration at outrageously being arrested for breaking the law.

But yeah, FUCKDAPOLICE, OMG POLICE STATE! etc etc. One cop losing his temper =/= the whole goddamn force. Get real.