That would never happen. Abe Lincoln would never be without his top hat!

Hugh Laurie should wear a top hat, just sayin.

Also, I want one of those little monkeys, so I can dress him in a little tuxedo and make him wear a top hat and bring me beers while I eat cheetos and watch TV.

Aren't memories funny things?

Every time I hear the word conjunction, I immediately think and sing the line from that dancing vegetable with a top hat and cane, "Conjunction junction, what's your function?"

>> ^heathen:

Can I still use it if I'm just a bloke and not a gentleman?
Unfortunately I tend to lose my top hat and monocle when I'm in survival situations.


Maybe you should duck tape them to your head.

@heathen A true gentleman still wears his monocle and top hat while surviving. Yes.. quite.

Can I still use it if I'm just a bloke and not a gentleman?
Unfortunately I tend to lose my top hat and monocle when I'm in survival situations.

>> ^gwiz665:

Is it possible to not have 7 old spice videos in the top 15? I think not! Delicious cake. The top 15 has never smelled better. Silver fish. I do hope that they don't drain the well completely though. Top hat. Then it might go stale and boring. Jewel-encrusted scepter. In any case, it's been a fun ride! I'm on a sift.

You forgot the MONOCLE SMILE!

This comment is now diamonds.

Is it possible to not have 7 old spice videos in the top 15? I think not! Delicious cake. The top 15 has never smelled better. Silver fish. I do hope that they don't drain the well completely though. Top hat. Then it might go stale and boring. Jewel-encrusted scepter. In any case, it's been a fun ride! I'm on a sift.
>> ^Kevlar:

Is it possible to have 7 Old Spice videos in the Top 15 simultaneously? Promote.

He should have put on a top hat.

>> ^rougy:

I really don't think Obama is doing enough to get this under control.
This has become a very major threat to a significant portion of our country.
It's been over a month now, and nothing of any real impact has been done.

Top hat, hot tap, garbage shoot...come on!!!

>> ^schmawy:

Teaching cats to use computers is a terrible idea that will only end in misery. This is a warning.


So predicteth Serious Top Hat Cat, in the Book of ICanHazeronomy.

Get that cat a tailored suit, a top hat, and a cane and he's a dead ringer for the distinguished Baron Humbert von Gikkingen from Studio Ghibli's The Cat Returns.

>> ^blankfist:
It's easy to complain about a business when you've never invested money in a venture yourself. Most business owners are NOT billionaire fat cats with top hats and monocles. Most are working to make a living, and a lot of restauranteurs make less than the servers because of the debt and having to pay worker salaries first before paying theirs.
That aside, when these customers sat down to order they agreed to the mandatory tip. It would've been wise for the restaurant to comp them when they complained, but they certainly are not obligated to do so.
I rarely tip less than 20% unless the service is terrible. Even when mandatory I tend to add to it. I suppose I should move to Europe where they "make better society" and then I'd never have to reward people for their good work.


Blah blah de blah blah. It's easy to make personal attacks instead of a cogent argument.

That last part is just bullshit. We pay tips in Europe, or Denmark at least, but only if the service was over average. Our restaurant industry is better, because if you don't get a tip, you don't starve. You are rewarded for good work, not punished for bad work.

>> ^poolcleaner:
>> ^gwiz665:
I have no problem with a restaurant adding an extra fee if you are a big group, but I have a problem when they try to call it a tip or gratuity. That's the whole issue, it's not gratuity, it's a bill. I pay tips in restaurants when I've gotten good service, or we had difficult orders or whatever - but I CHOOSE to pay it, I'm not forced to it.

Your opinion is skewed because 1) You don't live in America, and 2) You didn't work in the terrible food industry of America.
Before you start downvoting me and before you stop reading what I have to say, let me explain: I'm not against you not being American, (because that's a simple-minded way to go about judging people) but the food industry here is bullshit and the system (for lack of an actual person to blame) forces workers into this reality. When a tip is not paid by a customer, it's akin to docking a worker's pay. I know it doesn't make that much sense, but it's how things turned out over here. And it's as simple as that from a restaurant worker's perspective.
My next point is also important to your understanding: The total tips that a waiter/server makes at the end of the day is split up amongst the food runners, bussers, and barback, so not tipping has a trickle down effect to people who may have done their share of work yet who rely on the waiter to make their fair share.
It really is a shitty shitland of shit for the workers who live by these rules. I fault your ignorance of our food culture, not your ability to reason. I'd love to adopt the system you envision, but that means nothing in the short term and isn't too realistic.


You say that as if I don't know it. I do. Your system is shitty, everyone knows it. I would refuse to play into a shitty system (food industry). If these people saw that there was a mandatory extra fee and chose to eat there anyway, then they are in the wrong. Of course. But to call it a gratuity or tip is deceitful. I have no problem docking a waiter's pay if he provides shitty service, if his pay is partly what he wants me to donate. It is obviously obfuscating the terms, so it doesn't feel like an extra bill, but it still is.

The problem is that (all) customers are being blamed for the poor pay that waiters have. It is not the customers' fault, it is the business owners and the industry's fault.

[edit: forgot I already had replied to that last part..]

>> ^blankfist:
It's easy to complain about a business when you've never invested money in a venture yourself. Most business owners are NOT billionaire fat cats with top hats and monocles. Most are working to make a living, and a lot of restauranteurs make less than the servers because of the debt and having to pay worker salaries first before paying theirs.
That aside, when these customers sat down to order they agreed to the mandatory tip. It would've been wise for the restaurant to comp them when they complained, but they certainly are not obligated to do so.
I rarely tip less than 20% unless the service is terrible. Even when mandatory I tend to add to it. I suppose I should move to Europe where they "make better society" and then I'd never have to reward people for their good work.


I think you are twisting my words. I know that restaurants are not a big faceless corporation with tons of cash and so on, that's not the issue. The issue is that a tip should not be mandatory - then it is a bill or a tax, or even as demon_ix says, fraud. "When they sat down they agreed to the mandatory tip" how should they know that? Did the restaurant advertise it to them or is it just implied? If all prices just happen to me 20% more expensive than what's listed, I'm inclined to say it's fraud too.

As a libertarian, I would have think you agreed with me on this, but a tip should not be a tax, it should be a donation. If you want to give the servers, the cook etc. extra money you are free to do so over here too, but it is your own choice.

When restaurant owners rely on tips to make up a decent wage for their employees, they are profiting on their employees good service instead of the employees doing that. That's (bad) exploitation. I like the more direct approach in Europe, where waiters get to keep the tips themselves on top of their wages, which would be enough. I suppose it's different when the minimum wage is almost $20, hence my "make better society".