The first thing I ever took apart was my mom's stapler.
Sounds simple, but the way the springs are positioned inside made it impossible to put back together....

It was also the first time I was caught for disassembling things around the house.
I don't think my mom knows to this date that just about everything we owned had been disassembled and put back together - sometimes more than once.

Y-- Excuse me. You...I believe you have my stapler, mister starman?

I bought that stapler from home.

What's up with two staplers being #1 on Videosift?

I mean they're pretty cool staplers and shit, but... best of internet?

Do you think you have him beat? This man has been staple-less stapling since the Reagan administration. That's how much of a badass he is.

http://www.grand-illusions.com/cgi-bin/sh000001.pl5?REFPAGE=http%3a%2f%2fwww.grand-illusions.com%2facatalog%2fPens_and_Pencils.html&WD=stapler&PN=Lihi
t-Number-5-486.html

Those are kind of interesting, but I still like my staple-less stapler, which *is* available in the west: http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/8b70/+

This is actually a fantastic idea.

My roommate once suggested that it would be neat to run a company with a reward system in place that resulted in each employee getting to level up. At first you start off with just a desk and a computer. As you are recognized for doing good things in your job you will be reward by receiving upgrades your workstation.

<<<Rewards Email Alert>>>
"Great Presentation. You have unlocked... the stapler! No more walking to the mailroom for you!"

George Bush did this with paper planes and staplers behind closed doors when he planned the invasion Iraq.

The first clerk was just upset because somebody took his stapler.

I like his basic utilitarianism, but I think he's off a bit in the terms he's maximizing. I'd say that an ethical choice maximizes the fulfillment of weighted preferences among involved parties. Why preferences? Some people like suffering. Some people may not like suffering, but may choose suffering (for example, they might choose to lose a leg to save a tree.. or something). I believe it's ethical to allow them that choice, that preference. In another case, some people would object to, say, having to take a happy pill, even if it truly made them happy and satisfied. I don't think there's any reason they should have to. It's a small quibble, but important in some cases, I think.

And, to be clear, pretty much everyone is a utilitarian when it comes to an actual ethical dilemma. Jesus recommended pulling an ox out of a mire on the Sabbath. This is a utilitarian resolution to a conflict between rules. Pretty much anyone who claims to be, at root, deontological (such as someone who follows a religious code) is going to fall back to utilitarianism when a conflict arises. It's natural and, in my mind, right. And if you use utilitarianism to resolve conflicts, I think it's the "real" system.

On the flip side, while you can believe in utilitarianism as the true root of ethics, you can't effectively live that way because there are too many decisions and too many consequences to predict. Maybe punching a hobo is just the thing that will get him back on the road to life satisfaction. Maybe stealing a stapler and donating it to a charity is a net good. But you can't effectively live like that, and a society based on everyone making decisions in that way is not going to work - so you need to find personal rules of thumb that lead to a "good" (though not likely best) standard of ethics, and you need societal laws and norms that allow humans to interact in positive ways (while also allowing for exceptional actions when those actions will lead to better outcomes - like speeding to the hospital). So, for example, we have a rule of thumb that says "don't kill people, except in circumstances x, y and z" - and we live that way and don't have to further consider ethical questions about whether we should be killing people on a day to day basis. Unless we're the President. Or Dexter. But I suppose he has the code.

The other sad part is that this basic utilitarianism fails to address many of the ethical questions we actually have. For example, take abortion. The terms we're talking about - preferences, suffering, happiness - when do they kick in? I have my own thoughts on this, but we're out of the realm of "obvious philosophy people should be able to agree on". Similar problem with, say, terminating those in vegetative states. Who's preferences do we count, and how much? What does it mean to "be happy" for someone with minimal brain function?

But anyways, good thoughts in the video, even if I do think he took his time in getting to them.

Congratulations! Your video, Tossing a Stapler into an MRI Machine, has reached the #1 spot in the current Top 15 New Videos listing. This is a very difficult thing to accomplish but you managed to pull it off. For your contribution you have been awarded 2 Power Points.

This achievement has earned you your "Golden One" Level 24 Badge!

Fastest wire bending what now? Hey, I can hit a stapler faster than that thing...

Your video, Tossing a Stapler into an MRI Machine, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

Just give him back his red Swingline stapler and let him go about his business.