I've been to Malta about 2 years ago and it was horrid in comparison to most mainland Europe how fat people are. People are fat there and they eat a lot of unhealthy food. Lots of puff pastry and starchy meals.

Our crook confused baklava (sweet pastry) with balaclava (knitted headwear).

The croissant is one of the most magnificent articles of pastry on earth and it should be treated with the proper respect.

How could it be that americans can't pronounce croissant correctly but they still insist on a pretentious, faux-french style for 'herb'? Just what is the matter with these people?

Listen, I'm british so that means I'm really smart and you have to do what I tell you. Croissant is pronounced 'kwa-sorn'; herb is pronounced 'herb'. If someone tells you otherwise, you slap them right in the mouth.

God knows what crimes @Gratefulmom has had to witness done to 'au jus'. "Oh, juice"?

that's really cool. Similar to how Brik pastry is made

TRANSLATION:
Say what you will about Obama, I have no idea who and what he is or represents and I'd vote for him just for a chance to ride his cock. I love how he's a better actor than he is any sort of leader, just follow his lead and the world will ooze jelly donuts-filling and Pop Tart pastries in your favorite flavor will fall right off the trees and into your toaster!

So let's keep the spirit of complete douch-nozzle, spit-popping cuntitude going shall we?? (all five of my buddy-crew here who can do nothing else including think, without being told how and what to think about) y'all chime-in.

Which sift asshole piece of shit will be the first to think for themselves without having the television dictate how much of a complete cunt to be, and try to squash and render this asshole's newsspeak into the fertilizer it was meant to be, exposing for what it truly is, pusillanimous, robotic-script drivel, who can pssibly and effectively change the subject?

Lantern? Bobknight? Surely QM has something to say that I can call him out simply to shit upon him? ME, ME, ME, motherfuckers, nothing else matters but FUCKING ME!

Or will one of the few people who knows me better than I know myself, dismiss it reiterating how the parties are all the same in it's usual style of calling shit for what it is, identifying correctly, the crux of the biscuit???

(In case you haven't heard voodoovovovoovo, choggie ain't around here anymore. He was fired.)

*edit: OOPS! Forgot to hit the sar-chasm button. <(lying)

If Ramsey wouldn't touch croissants and needed lessons form a tenured pastry chef, I don't feel so bad for always being concerned about wasting all that butter having never tried.
Now do a batch without a pastry roller and a commercial convection oven, and see how much fun you have!

Beautiful but frustrating.

There's a reason it jumps straight from the handshake to a relationship without showing what comes in between and that's because there's nothing to put there. This doesn't happen in real life. A second is not enough time to build a relationship with a total stranger. Neither is 10 seconds, 30 seconds or even 5 minutes.

In real life, they say hello, exchange pleasantries and then leave with their pastries, never to see each other ever again.

... Every weekend of this summer I went down to the Briton Beach area (next to Coney Island in NYC) which has a big Caspian-Russian/Ukrainian populace. Me and my friend try to arrive early in the morning in order to take full advantage of our day, because by lunchtime is when all the non-locals from other parts of the city start pouring in.

The beach is noticeably cleaner and quieter in the morning even when there are several people running about, generally getting a tan or going in for a quick swim. And as soon as 10:30am hits, locals start folding their beach towels and walk off, and you begin to see the non-locals and tourists moving in. You start to hear loud music, you hear vendors selling water and beer, cellphones and loud laughter.

Over the past few months I've noticed a major difference between beach habits of locals and non-locals, which is that non-locals usually brought big coolers filled with food and drinks, while as the locals didn't. Those who were hungry usually had some fruits or a piece of pastry in plastic bags, and left no crumbs on the sand. Meanwhile the non-locals were having a feast, opening bags of chips, fried chicken and what have you, and the seagulls start showing up.

When we arrive at the beach in the morning there were maybe 1 to 0 seagulls to be seen. In the afternoon, packs of seagulls with about 4 or 5 seagulls per pack were roaming around on different areas of the beach. Then you start hearing such complaints from these people as "Omaigawd this beach is so dirty" or "F*cking seagulls, they're everywhere!" This goes to tell you that it isn't just the seagulls that are annoying, it's the people who lack proper beach etiquette that ruin it for the rest of us. Tourists are bad, but it's mostly the non-locals coming in from other parts of the city that are the worst, because they 'think' they know the city. They mouth off the tourists coming outside of NYC, and yet to the locals of Brighton Beach, the non-local New Yorkers are the most annoying rats of all.

Anyways, don't bring food into the sand people. Goto a deli and eat it at the boardwalk or something.

That's quite the plane to be carrying pastry!

The goth pastry sells for $23.

6:15am: Get out of bed and smoke cigarette before baby wakes up. Make coffee immediately so that eating breakfast and lunch can be avoided.
7:00am: Begin third cup of coffee.
8:00am: Sit on couch and encourage child to run around. Avoid running after him for any reason.
10:00am: Drive two blocks to school. Park at median height of campus to avoid walking uphill either direction.
11:00am-4:00pm: Have to walk off campus now to smoke. Every time I get back to class I want another one already. Can't complain, out of breath anyway.
5:00pm: Go to store, buy ranch dressing for tater-tots and vinaigrette for wife's salad.
7:00pm: Spend an hour cooking ultra-healthy, carb-free meal for wife and son. Snack on cheese-crackers and diet soda (not because it's diet, I just like it better).
9:00pm: Put son to bed, go outside to smoke and play with bokken: today's only exercise.
9:30pm-12:00am: Fold laundry, clean, homework, etc.
1:00am: First meal of day: leftover pastry dough I made for pie wrapped around salami and some lettuce (gotta eat your veggies).
2:00am: Wake up on couch to Galactica credits. Go to bed. (I average the actual, completely awake viewing of one episode every four days at this rate.)

There, now I don't even need a Fitocracy profile.

Not better than the Springfield Shopper editor: "Come on, you're going to kill him with a pastry? I've seen this man eat a bowl of CHANGE!"

>> ^FlowersInHisHair:

If the hippy could afford an eyedropper full of LSD, he could afford to buy his own fucking pastry.


He probably couldn't afford much of anything after buying the eyedropper full of LSD.

If the hippy could afford an eyedropper full of LSD, he could afford to buy his own fucking pastry.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'troopers, college humor, coffee, pastries, julio, star wars parody' to 'troopers, college humor, coffee, pastries, julio, star wars parody, monster floor' - edited by ponceleon