He's not actually serious in this monologue, is he? He just comes across as an old man screaming "Get a haircut, you hippie!" before throwing some teenagers off his front lawn.

Dude, it's the 21st century. Social dancing in public has been a thing since my grandmother was a teenager back in the "roaring 20s." Only an idiot can't understand the idea of expressing your emotions with your body (rather than say a pen, paintbrush, or your voice). And Stephen Fry has never struck me as an idiot, so I'm not sure where this monologue is coming from.

Videos that have someone narrating with that whiny, nasal millennial voice. Seriously, it's ok to ask someone over 30 that can actually speak to narrate your vid about how plastic is slowly seeping into the sun and that's why you can't afford a house next to the dolphins that have been trained to dress homeless hipsters who serve meals on wheels. Get off my lawn.

Forget prisons and schools, I would use this to make sure my kids mow the lawn right.

If this is being a grumpy old man, then hand me my cane.

In fact, forget the cane.

Give me a rocking chair and a shotgun, because these particular kids need to regret being on my lawn.

*Waves cane* Hey, you kids, get off my lawn!!!

This is execution.

With the armoured car, they could have driven up next to the car, shined a freaking high powered halogen light inside and seen if there was a gun with zero danger to anyone... That takes about 15 seconds.

How dafuq do you feel threatened with an armoured vehicle, that much backup, vests/shields and automatic firearms? It is fucking beyond me...

At the very least this is voluntary manslaughter.

And seriously, these people were too fucking moronic to think through that executing two sleeping people was perhaps a bad idea, and yet we let them wield the guns and dispense the lawn??!?!?

...and get off my lawn!!!!!

I know this is what he and a lot of others want to think, but for most of his examples, just like his example of stupidity vs learning disability, there are actual and reasonable grounds for the name changes. PTSD vs shell-shocked, for example, isn't a case of trying to be 'less offensive' - shell shock was an informal term coined by soldiers to describe a range of experiences and symptoms, and combat stress syndrome, PTSD, etc, were developed by professionals who wanted to make an actual diagnosis (to me, shell shock sounds a lot less harmful than PTSD, because I'm not 80 years old). It's a case of people with more expertise and knowledge than Carlin trying to create concepts that are actually useful. You could call it 'murder crazy' if you want to be 'raw' but that doesn't get us anywhere. This is the problem with Carlin's thesis - he brings in terms that he doesn't understand, describing situations that don't affect him directly, and tries to cram it into some 'old white man post-relevance get off my lawn syndrome' (OWMPGOMLS).

I know that a lot of people agree with what they see as his underlying point. I'm just saying that his examples here don't support that point.

Yeah, these things are death traps. They're so useless, the Navy has to send out OTHER helicopters to pre-scout landing zones for the Ospreys. Aside from that, the downblast from the rotors is so powerful, it makes work on a flight deck impossible during takeoffs and landings, as an added bonus, it also makes rappelling so dangerous Marines call it the "elevator of death".

Add to that the enormous cost of $72 million a unit a flight-speed too fast for escort helicopters and too slow for escort jets and a host of other problems and you have a very expensive and cool looking lawn ornament. 35 Billion dollars well-spent, Pentagon.

So I've got this friend who wants to know how wide of a trench he needs to dig to keep the tanks off his lawn.

Okay, and let me clarify were you did indeed say it should be forever held against him.

"Yes, it's OK, and normal, for future employers to investigate potential applicants and disqualify them if they show insanely poor judgement publicly like this guy did. You think that's not OK?"

I am owner Newt of Newt's Fabrications and Misunderstandings. I see this guy applying and look into his past. Would YOU hire this guy? Would you, as a black employer perhaps, offer this guy a job working with other black employees?

No? So moving on. You think Walmart wants this racist? Even 20 years from now? Why the fuck would they do that when they have a plethora of job applicants to do that?

So he moves on to Lawdeedaw's Lawn Service. I barely pay minimum wage, and I work him like a dog. Since I am the job he can get, he takes me up. His history is held against him and he has to settle.

Oh, kinda like what happens to blacks who just want to be productive...and have committed past crimes.

Edit Added Later:

Oh, and enouch and VooDooV "defend" this guy much more than me...yet you implied I was a racist douchebag...in fact I never defended him at all and left them out...oddly enough...

In fact I
1-Attacked most businesses as greedy.
2-Said most racists like him are just too proud to take government funds (But I didn't elaborate as to how/why.)
3-And stated that the past should not indefinitely be held against people.

Unless I missed a post from myself (possible) I never even said this guy should keep his job...

Where do you live that they still sell Lawn Darts in the grocery store?!? ;-)
Now there's a yard game I would love to see played professionally!