"I'm so old I was around when some of these jokes were first told!"

I don't mean to be mean - definitely some funny ones mixed in with the old jokes.

Still rehashing the Carter Page stupidity bob?
“ the Mueller Report concluded that the investigation did not establish that Page coordinated in Russia's interference efforts, but did establish that the Steele dossier was right about Page attending high-level meetings with Russians, even though he denied doing so.”

Pretty sad, especially considering all the convictions of administration officials for crimes against the US…Russian collusion/unregistered foreign agents …that came from it. Edit: Recall, Trump DID have secret meetings with Russian officials about Clinton at Trump tower during his campaign that he then lied about, and was only not prosecuted because the prosecutor said he was too stupid and ignorant to KNOW it was illegal so he couldn’t convict him…but it definitely was an attempt at illicit collusion with Russia that he admits to.

This investigation was thoroughly investigated and the actual investigation did not find what he claimed. Sorry.

Trump’s weaponization of every federal department is public record, from the DOJ acting as his private counsel and jack booted thugs to the IRS directing local police to label any protester an ANTIFA agent unless proven otherwise and hiring violent convicts to “infiltrate” BLM and instigate violence, to Trump repeatedly denying disaster relief to states that he lost in the election, to withholding military assistance to blackmail a foreign leader into investigating and accusing Trump’s political rival’s family, all verified and codified.

These hearings are a total joke, the weaponization of congress, and a pure, totally not serious, rehash of the Durham report that found absolutely nothing actionable, only a very few clerical errors, zero convictions. Republicans simply can’t accept reality. Such a fool you are, buying every lie and ploy, absolutely NEVER removing your blinders.

To summarize- from the Page investigation, if memory serves, there were 36 officials CONVICTED of hundreds of crimes, most involving hiding their strong financial ties to Russia…from the Durham report investigating that investigation came 3 charges that were all tossed out of court for insufficient evidence….nothing burger. Now the idiot Republican house is trying again with the same (lack of) evidence because you can’t accept that you are LOSERS!

When Trump weaponized the federal government you cheered and clapped. You only care because that extreme righty weaponization is ending.

My mother worked at Houston Methodist Hospital when they first got an MRI in the 80’s.
Multiple employees were injured by entering the field with metal objects and more than once the machine itself was severely damaged. It’s no joke.
What was this moron thinking?

A particularly lame skit from a really bad episode. I thought it was at least 5 minutes too long to milk one joke.

Bwaaaahahahaha. Nothing to say on topic, no contradiction to offer, so you devolve into personal ad hom attacks again. That’s an admission that my points could not be contradicted and you have no argument to offer.

Hilarious you think knowing SOMETHING is like knowing everything about everything.
I’m sad you know so very little about anything. You were clearly shielded from adult topics in school and have no idea how to understand or deal with them.

Lol. I never amounted to much? Is that your assumption? I became exactly what I wanted to be, retired by around 30, home owner, property owner, no debt, no criminal record, with good health, a loving wife, an education, moral, ethical, responsible, and nearly obligation free. I AM living the American dream, friendo. You are the American nightmare….(an ignorant, opinionated, angry blowhard that believes people should only be allowed to learn what you in your unbelievable ignorance think is proper, who is so self centered and poorly educated their opinion on most topics could not be differentiated from an average 3rd grader. A repair technician so delusional he thinks that gives him some otherwise unattainable ethical medical knowledge because he knows the word ultrasound. If you are honest, which I know you are not, you lost at least 1/2 your net worth in the last year following your own incredibly dumb investment advice that everyone on the sift warned you was terrible advice, but you know better.)

I never wanted to tell others what to do….which seems to be what you think is the main measure of success. Having control over others is not what I call success, because I have morals and ethic and see having control as an obligation, a sacred duty owed to those you “control”, unlike yourself who only sees the control and personal opportunities to take advantage of those with less power.

Nothing’s holding me back. I’m exactly where I want to be.
My family is happy, healthy, financially stable, and have never been committed to mental institutions with major mental disorders I created in them through constant abuse. I don’t think you can say the same unless you lied again.

Bob….you SAY I’m wrong 100% of the time, then slink away into the shadows every time I rub your nose in verified facts that prove me correct time and time and time and time again. Was I wrong about Tesla? No. Trump? No. The election? No. Republican criminality? No.
What, exactly, am I wrong about? I know you can’t say….you just KNOW I am. 🤦‍♂️
Sadly, I will say you seem to be wrong about almost everything you say. Demonstrably, verifiably wrong….yet somehow you still believe you have much to teach us. That’s a mental disorder you should seek treatment for, no joke.

Every accusation from your ilk being an admission…why do you like being the ugliest dick on the sift?

PS- how’s that “ALL IN for the long term, buy all you can at $400.” Tesla investment going? How about the “BLM and ANTIFA attacked the capitol, which wasn’t actually attacked.” defense? How you doing on the “Pelosi was not actually attacked by a MAGA terrorist just spurned by his gay lover.” theory? How about the “everyone knows there was massive democratic election fraud” claim?

1st thought that came to me is this Onion joke is paid for by Paramount Studios, to promo Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves.

The title alone had me laughing enough to *promote. I wasn't expecting much out of the video once they'd made the original joke, but they did keep me laughing with the idea that I'm "part skeleton". As if!

Apparently none of these lies were a surprise to the RNC or other Republican representatives and were a running joke among Republicans before the election. (The joke being their voters are so stupid they’ll believe every lie a Republican tells them without ever checking.).

They knew he was a total fraud, but as they said before “we have no obligation to tell the truth”. Their excuse…there was no other Republican candidate running and they wanted power.

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/yes-top-house-republicans-knew-of-george-santoss-lies-before-his-election-in-november-11672160423?mod=commodities

https://nypost.com/2022/12/24/house-gop-leaders-aware-of-george-santos-fabrications/?link=mktw

Your video, 100 Most Savage Weekend Update Jokes, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

Poor wording on my part….I needed the thumb changed because the one it came with gave away the joke…Eric fixed it for me…but you “broke” it again. Can you undo? I don’t know how to grab a thumb from the video

Screw this rotten potato.
Should absolutely be fired.
Keep in mind, most people in jail have not been convicted of anything, and more often than not never are. Being arrested doesn’t make you a criminal or subhuman, despite his contentions to the contrary.

Prison isn’t for punishment, it’s for rehabilitation. He clearly thinks it’s for long term torture, which he clearly enjoys dishing out.

He better not EVER ask for more funding since he has enough to put together a $1200+ sign for his joke on taxpayer dollars. Cut his department’s funding by 25% now, and see if they still have too much and waste it on jokes only they find funny.

This guy needs to be sent to Maricopa jail and have his file lost, forced to eat green expired lunch meat while in a cell with 14 others designed to hold 4. If he doesn’t understand that he’s creating criminals then, send him to me, I’ll give him the treatment he deserves.

What a fuckwitted asshole. Someone shoot this sadistic fuck or frame his wife and children and put them in his torture chamber. No, on second thought just shoot him, he would probably enjoy torturing his family.

I can't believe how long the kids melting down went on for! It was great as a quick joke, but as someone who has had young children and is fucking *thrilled* they no longer do this shit, that scene was painful.

I'm (also?) of the camp that, at the end of a particulary ho-hum performance, the right thing to do is stay silent. Unlike the customary American Thing of screaming & yelling like a fangirl to any attempt of an act.

And Jimmy Fallon loves nothing more than pre-laugh at his own "jokes."

As a man who lives for a cheap joke, buy BTC today!

I'll BUMP your comment.

See what I did there? It's a cocaine joke. Because cocaine.

So much cocaine.